...to ask what happens when you die?

[TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich]

... or more accurately, what you think happens?

I really really don't want to die (a good thing I guess! As I wasn't too bothered either way as a moody teen, but now I love life most of the time and want to hang around).

It's comforting to think there's a heaven, but I don't believe there is (and I'd probably get bored if I had to stay there for EVER). But when u die - is that it? Game over ? I'm not too keen on that idea either.

What do you think happens? and what would you like to think happens?

I’m a Christian so I believe our body stays and our soul is transported to God. Then when Christ returns our bodies will be made whole with our spirit in perfection. Well hell I don’t like to think about. But i do believe it’s there and it’s the place where God is not present. I’m not actually scared of death itself but I am scared as to how I will die. I watched my brother pass away a few years back and it he did suffer till at the end he was actually peaceful. I made sure I asked the doctors to give him enough painkillers so that he wouldn’t feel pain in his last moments.

I believe that the end is just that, the end. Our ‘energy’ and dna continue but the essence of who we were is gone. I think all the stories of heaven and reincarnation and other things are purely inventions we use to help us cope with the idea of the end of our existence. I am genuinely envious of those who believe, the thought of death scares me and I wish I had this comfort. I live in hope that by the time I die I have come to terms with it.

Wormfood.

I think you live multiple lives at once based on decisions you make so you never really die.

Say you were in your current life now and at 18 you decided not to go to University and your life took a different path but then another you decided to go to Uni and that life took a different path too. There could be hundreds of you living a different life and when you die in one, your other lives are still going.

Occasionally you bump into yourself in another life which is why you experience deja vu!

Plus my theory was backed up when my sister went to Scotland (we were all born there, we moved down when I was 8 months old) and she took a photo at the old park we used to play in. When she looked back at the photos, there was a girl walking past who looked identical to me that when she showed my Mom the pics, my Mom said she didn't realise I'd gone to Scotland with my sister (I hadn't) so I reckon that was me living one of my other lives as we nearly didn't move and almost stayed.

Of course I have no idea if this is real, but it's a theory I enjoy and I'd like to think there is more out there once we've passed.

I'm a Christian and believe that when I'm absent from the body I will be present with the Lord. I have no fear whatsoever in death or dying.

I also believe in what the bible tells me, that I shall be reunited with my loved ones in a new spiritual form

That's interesting about your 7 year old epiphany, Findo as I had a very similar experience around the same age - only mine was a complete reversal of yours. I was bought up in a church going household and I can only assume it was as a result of that, but I remember having a sudden terror of the thought of going on for all eternity! At the age of about 6, the thought of now being here for EVER in some way just overwhelmed me!

Now, while I would like to think there is 'something' after death, I don't believe in any Christian constructs. Logic tells me there is nothingness, as before birth, but I would love to believe in reincarnation. I have read books about very young children sharing past life details in their formative years, where their knowledge seems to have come from nowhere and as they get older they 'forget' these memories. Same with some childhood 'imaginary friends' . It's very probably all bollocks, but I'd love to think there's somthing in it (especially as I had very strange imaginary friends as a very young child!). Having said that, if there is any kind of continuation then I would also like to believe you can reconnect with loved ones in some form... and I can't have it both ways!

Unfortunately rather than some Awfully Big Adventure, it's most likely a complete blank!

I think we die & that’s it

Nothing happens. You don't exist anymore.

I think it feels just like it did before you were born. Like when you're under for an operation or fast asleep. You just cease to exist to yourself. It's nothing to be afraid of.

I'm afraid of knowing I'm going to die, like most people are, and dying in agony from being tortured. But I don't really think about it or spend any time worrying. Actually being dead, that's okay with me.

I find it kinda comforting death is a great unifier. We're all going to die. Every last one of us. That helped me when my mum died. It wasn't some great awful tragedy that she died per se, as she was gonna die at some point anyway and all of us left will die too. It was a tragedy she died so soon (I was 22, still needed my mum), but it really helped to remind myself it's inevitable for us all.

My mum was very chill about death, she worked in an elderly care home and dealt with it and dealt with dead people regularly. She told me the person just becomes a shell. When I visited her body in the chapel I realised she was right. My mum wasn't there anymore. Just the vessel for her.

It'd be comforting to believe in an afterlife, I believe that's why people do, because to comprehend that our whole life amounts to nothing for us is so painful. But as an atheist I can't make myself believe there's anything. We just die. What I've realised is that if we can live a good life and make a difference to others, that's the best life possible. And when we die, everything we did wasn't for nothing. It passes on. If you can live on in the memories of people who loved you that's such an honour. It doesn't have to be your kids necessarily. If my mum hadn't fought addiction and died while I was so young I don't know if I'd have had the drive I do to help others. It taught me so much and gave me such respect for people with mental health and substance abuse problems that I went to volunteer in a prison rehab within a few months, got experience, went back to uni to become a profession that helps others, and I dedicate my life both in my job and my voluntary work to being there for others when they're in their darkest moments. As I know if I was in that place (I've been there) I'd want someone there for me.

So... I guess I'm trying to say, if you're lucky your influence lives on. None of the people I've managed to support or help over the seven years since she died would have got that help from me if it hadn't been for my mum. And I still talk about her and consider what she gave me and the lessons she taught me, she shaped me.

If you try be a good person and help others and stand up for people who need it and raise your kids well and volunteer in the community and ask crying strangers if they're okay, then you'll have such an influence on the world you have no way of knowing. In my voluntary job on a suicide line I must have taken thousands of calls over the decade I've been at it. And who knows what that did for those callers? Some outright say that it's saved their life or changed it, I'm not narcissistic to think if I wasn't there another volunteer couldn't have done a brilliant job too but sometimes the stars align and you are glad you were the person who picked up the phone. I'll never know what impact it had but if I died tomorrow at 29 I'd feel I'd done my best in my short life to make the world a better place. That's so much more important, for the living, that I'm fine with ceasing to exist.

You will out of existence. The void.

Wink not will

I think you will be with God and the ones you have lost. You will be so happy you won't care if it is for eternity as time will have no meaning. My Mum however goes a bit far and believes you will be reunited with ex-cats. I remain to be convinced of that bit.

I have never understood the logistics of heaven and being reunited with your loved ones. Any individual’s idea of heaven is unlikely to perfectly overlap with any one other person’s. Your loved ones had other loved ones, who they would want to spend eternity with but you probably wouldn’t. It just doesn’t work, unless each person has their own individual heaven with facsimiles of their loved ones. A sort of Truman Show heaven just for you.

And the concept of eternity freaks me out way more than simply ceasing to exist. I am not scared of death for my own sake, only for the impact my death would have on my dc and DH.

That's so sweet froglet! I had a dream about a year or so after my mum died where I visited her in heaven, and our late cats were there too. I asked her if they lived with her and she said 'it doesn't really work like that up here but I see them every day'. I don't believe in heaven but that dream had a massive impact on me then and now, I remember it vividly. The saddest part is I knew it was a dream and only had 45 mins with her and had to say goodbye and thank her as she told us she'd always be watching over us. I woke up sobbing.

Oh Lemonshark! I'm really sorry you lost your Mum. I lost my Dad about 10 years ago and the last things I did were to get a chaplain to give him a blessing then I told him I was pregnant with DD. He died that night. I really think I will see him again and that thought sustains me as I have so many other things to say to him.

I believe in a life after death, I think our soul lives on, how do you account for someone you loved visiting you, and people who are close to death seeing their loved ones come for them, I have seen my mother, and my dad although he didn't believe at all in a life after death, say he had been to a place with beautiful flowers so vivid and colourful, and he was going back there on the 26th of May,it puzzled us, and thought it was just a dream, but he passed away on that exact date, 2 months later

Nothing happens, life isn't the practice run or training scheme for what happens next, that's it, the sooner more people realise it, the better a place the world will be.

I believe death is the end, nothingness, and I find that more comforting than the various ideas about heaven/reincarnation etc.
John Keats in Ode to a Nightingale, summed up my ideal death,
"to cease upon the midnight with no pain.."

Thanks froglet, I'm sorry for your loss too. What incredible timing you were able to tell him about your daughter before he died. That's truly amazing. I was lucky I got about 30 hours with her once her life support was removed to sit and speak to her, she couldn't speak back sadly but I hope some of it went in. Got to say everything I needed to. Then after a whole day by her side not knowing if she had hours or days left I nipped home for a shower and she died while I was gone 😩 Her partner was with her though so she wasn't alone. It's been seven years and it still surprises me my mum is gone at times.

I agree with the phrase 'religion is the opium of the masses', it's easier to keep people down and make them accept poor treatment or a rubbish life if they're fed the idea that they'll get their reward in the afterlife. Agree completely with PP who say that if people realised this is all we have, people might be more likely to make the most of it instead of believing they'll get their reward after death. I know it's not as simple as that though and fully respect we all have different beliefs.

I have had communication with someone who has passed over to spirit form - I know who it is but obviously won't reveal names here. I have posted extensively about my experiences on here previously, and have three other people who either live or have spent time in my home who can verify what I'm saying, as they have also experienced things.

Something I find particularly fascinating is that this person has demonstrated beyond doubt to me to on various occasions that that they can still see and hear and have some ability to cause physical effect - by which I mean e.g. one night when I was sitting up in bed reading I felt a distinct pressure on the duvet by my side, exactly as if someone or domething were leaning on the bed, only there was noone or nothing visible. It lasted for a a few seconds only but was unmistakeable. I knew it was this person as something notable always happens a few days after I have spoken to them, as I had on this occasion.

I've spoken to other relatives and friends who have also experienced contact from this person; it's always interesting to compare notes and share our different experiences. We're all of us left in doubt that that death is not the end.

Also yes to Olive - anybody saying "I died and there was nothing there" - well no, clearly they didn't actually die. Death happens when the physical body becomes too worn out, injured, diseased etc. to house the soul, and so the soul leaves the body permanently and the body decays or is otherwise destroyed. People claiming to have died merely nearly did so.

There are going to be a lot of very confused people who find that when they "die", they i.e.their souls are still "there" and conscious, but I expect that they will receive guidance on the other side. I find it's easier to be prepared beforehand and to have some idea of what to expect, but that's just me.

According to the Bible (which is itself incredibly complex) God is not only the Author of our existence, but he is the Relationship that makes our existence meaningful. All the intangibles in life that we crave...enough strength for any situation, joy, wisdom, and knowing we are loved...God alone gives these to us as we listen to him and trust him. He is our greatest, reliable guide in life. Just as he has engineered DNA to instruct the cell, he offers to instruct us to make our lives function well, for his glory and for our sake, because he loves us.

^^this

That is interesting Pebble - perhaps it's the idea of eternity that's so troubling? Or at least our human concept of it, tied as it is to our linear perception of time. I loved Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five for that reason - he was the first author that made me question my own ideas about what time is and what 'forever' means.

I have also been troubled by eternity, even though i do believe in an afterlife. I often think of my parents and grandparents who died years ago, thinking how long they've been in heaven now. But i suppose it's only to us on earth who think of everything in time. In heaven there won't be any time, or time as we understand it anyway.

According to the Bible (which is itself incredibly complex) God is not only the Author of our existence, but he is the Relationship that makes our existence meaningful. All the intangibles in life that we crave...enough strength for any situation, joy, wisdom, and knowing we are loved...God alone gives these to us as we listen to him and trust him. He is our greatest, reliable guide in life. Just as he has engineered DNA to instruct the cell, he offers to instruct us to make our lives function well, for his glory and for our sake, because he loves us.

He loves us so much he ordered the slaughter of all those who worshipped the golden calf immediately after the commandment on sinai.

Sounds like he loves us only if we worship unconditionally ....abusive relationship there

This is all we get.

Ann Druyan's comments after the death of her husband Carl Sagan always come to mind when this topic comes up:

“When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful…

"The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.“