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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to do about my cats

78 replies

tartanfleece · 23/11/2017 07:40

I have 5 (very loved) cats. But have recently moved. The house goes directly onto the street and is a main road through a town which in itself is in a rural location but does get massive lorries and buses.

Also I can't really afford them. They never seem to stop eating Sad

And because this house is much smaller they are keeping me up. I was awake at 3:45 this morning because of one of them miaowing.

One is quite elderly. The others are aged between 3 and 7. They are all black which I understand is hard to rehome.

I don't know what to do. I have started thinking seriously about rehoming because this is so miserable but feel like an awful person. Am I being unreasonable? Can anyone help?

OP posts:
SoulStew · 23/11/2017 07:43

Why did you get so many!? Why move to a house that is not cat friendly? But mostly.....why get so bloody many??

PosiePootlePerkins · 23/11/2017 07:45

This won't go well OP. You really should have thought about all of these issues before you decided to have 5 cats. Yes you will find them hard to rehome. Poor catsSad

RagamuffinCat · 23/11/2017 07:46

Could you cat proof the back garden or build a run so they can go outside safely? And perhaps change to a higher quality food so they aren't hungry all the time? Also playing with them in the evening should wear them out a bit.

DumbledoresApprentice · 23/11/2017 07:48

It sounds like your environment isn’t suitable for so many cats. I don’t think you should rehome the elderly one but maybe rehoming a couple of the youngest one might make things a bit easier. How did you end up with so many?

goingbonkers123 · 23/11/2017 07:50

If you're in a situation where you had to move to that house that was unsuitable for your pets YANBU.

If you chose that house with no consideration for your 5 pets YABU.

Original poster
tartanfleece · 23/11/2017 07:52

I've had them years. Now marriage has ended and I'm just limited in my options really. I don't exactly want to re-home them. I just am struggling here Sad and yes, poor cats.

OP posts:
faitch · 23/11/2017 07:53

Please please please, whatever you decide, rehome them via a shelter, not on gumtree or a selling page.
I agree with pp, keep the elderly cat if you really feel you can’t keep them. It’s not fair to upend any of them, but more so for the older one.
If you’ve moved to an unsuitable house, then for their benefit, not yours, rehome. They don’t need the added stress of a main road to contend with daily.

deepestdarkestperu · 23/11/2017 07:54

Why take on pets you can’t keep?

None of the reasons you’ve listed are really good reasons for rehoming. Cats are expensive to feed - that won’t be something that’s changed overnight - especially with five of them! If your house is smaller, shut them downstairs at night and wear earplugs to drown out the miaows.

Unfortunately they won’t be rehomed very quickly and will probably spend a good long time in rescue. Our local rescue is full of cats - most of them black, elderly or both.

It really bugs me when people get pets and then decide they’re too much work or cost too much money and get rid of them Angry

BeetrootTart · 23/11/2017 07:55

Do you have a garden?

How much space do you have? Can you cat-friendly the house? There's a lot of space saving ideas if you look online - utilising wall space etc for runs etc?

Rinoachicken · 23/11/2017 07:56

They never seem to stop eating

Hmm really? I’m struggling to give you sympathy after this statement.

WHY do you have FIVE cats. You don’t get more cats if you are struggling to even feed the ones you have.

Original poster
tartanfleece · 23/11/2017 07:56

The cats all were rescue cats. It's honestly not about me deciding I don't want them any more. I feel bad enough. But I can't keep on like this! Something has to give!

OP posts:
deepestdarkestperu · 23/11/2017 07:58

X-post.

Can your ex not take some of them? Maybe a couple of the younger ones?

I know relationship breakdowns are hard when you have pets - but there are ways around it. Give them food at set times and ignore the miaows and forlorn looks! Could you have some biscuits down for them throughout the day and just wet feed once a day?

You can buy cat-proof runs and shelters for gardens, or buy stuff for your fences so they can go outside but no further than your fence-line.

I would strongly recommend you do everything possible before rehoming then, simply because I know black/elderly cats really struggle to find new homes and they’re likely to spend a long time in kennels if you give them up.

Original poster
tartanfleece · 23/11/2017 07:59

Rino, because I used to be married and have a very generous income coming in every month and barely needed to glance at the total cost in Sainsburys when chucking the cat food in. Now, I'm struggling for money.

Like I say, I feel awful about it all. And I can concede I made a mistake having so many, only in a marriage that's bad you sometimes desperately look to other things you can love and show affection to and I really am trying to think about things I can do that will be right by the cats.

OP posts:
deepestdarkestperu · 23/11/2017 08:00

Whereabouts in the country are you? Maybe someone could suggest a good local rescue centre? The younger ones would stand a better chance than the older one but it still won’t be easy for them Sad

Rinoachicken · 23/11/2017 08:03

tartanfleece

I also cross posted, hadn’t seen about the marriage breakdown. I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time, I know how that feels Flowers.

In you situation I would look at rehoming 2 for now. Not the oldest. Are there two who are more friendly with each other, and a ‘pair’? Do you have any friends or relatives who would consider taking a couple or even one for a while?

BarbarianMum · 23/11/2017 08:04

If one had to know ones income and circumstances were guarebteed for 18 gears after getting a kitten no one would have one. Which would be a good thing imo but bit harsh to have a go at the OP for doing what everyone else does.

lljkk · 23/11/2017 08:05

I would ask around among my friends & contacts to see if any of them could take some of the Mogs. Odds are you will get sniffy response if you approach a charity about rehoming, but they can't do worse than be unpleasant.

Sorry you're getting a hard time. Sometimes life is hard to organise perfectly -- yanbu.

MistressPage · 23/11/2017 08:05

Flowers OP, sorry you've had a rough time. Be kind to yourself, you can't help that circumstances have changed. Go ahead and rehome the cats, they will be fine. Just use a good rehoming place so you know they'll have adequate food and shelter and they'll be ok.

Laiste · 23/11/2017 08:07

I was going to say keep the eldest and maybe the next one down. Re home 5?

Have you any back garden space?

We cat proofed (keeping ours in) a fairly large garden with some brackets and netting from HomeBase. It only cost us about 40 quid. A lot at the moment perhaps but it's a one off and will give your cats a bit of outdoor time. I can tell you how if you like.

Try a local shelter.

Laiste · 23/11/2017 08:08

Sorry i meant re home 3, and keep two?

Original poster
tartanfleece · 23/11/2017 08:10

Thanks. I don't have an extensive list of contacts - have asked a few people but mostly they either have cats already and don't want another, or have dogs.

I've no intention of dumping them or anything but this is why it's so hard. Because this situation just can't continue. The biscuits is a good idea though, as |I know they mostly aren't actually hungry just trying their luck but it's stressful in a tiny kitchen trying to prepare meals with five yowling cats under your feet! The old cat isn't really any trouble but the others really are, much as I hate to say it.

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 23/11/2017 08:11

Have you tried putting some dry food in those feeders that they have to work at & push around to get it out? That way they'd be busy at night AND maybe if they're having to put effort into eating they'd eat less (if they're greedy sods like my eldest cat who will inhale food if it's there but will eat less if he has to stir a paw)

LEMtheoriginal · 23/11/2017 08:12

Wow - a real display of empathy here!! What is wrong with people?

OP you say your cats are rescues? Many rescues will take animals back should circumstances change?

It is so sad for you that you have to give them up but it doesn't sound like you have too much in the way of choice.

Local vets can advertise them. Cats protection league and rspca worth a try although they are pretty overwhelmed.

In the meantime you could try a feliway diffuser. They produce a pheromone that is very calming for cats and may help. They will be unsettled due to the move.

Hopefully it sort itself out for you.

And to the posters being so judgemental - there but for the grace of God!!@

Vinorosso74 · 23/11/2017 08:13

Five is a lot of cats! It isn't a great situation but you know that.
Could you at least keep the elderly one as he/she will be harder to rehome? Cat proof the back garden? An older cat is more likely to be happier as an indoor cat than younger ones.
There is a website called catchat and that will list rescues near to you (make sure they are no kill); you will likely need to go on a waiting list. Are the cats bonded or do you think they will be ok as singles?
If you give a vague location people may have recommendations of good rescues.

deepestdarkestperu · 23/11/2017 08:13

I have two - they get biscuits left down all day so they can graze, and I just give them half a pouch of wet morning and night each. They still try their luck with begging but I mostly just ignore them unless I’m feeling generous and then they get some fish or chicken in their bowls.

What brand cat food are you feeding them? You can get some good deals from online shops like zooplus if you can wait a few days for delivery - I never pay full-price for anything on there and mine eat pretty well.