To not know what to do about my cats

[tartanfleece]

I have 5 (very loved) cats. But have recently moved. The house goes directly onto the street and is a main road through a town which in itself is in a rural location but does get massive lorries and buses.

Also I can't really afford them. They never seem to stop eating

And because this house is much smaller they are keeping me up. I was awake at 3:45 this morning because of one of them miaowing.

One is quite elderly. The others are aged between 3 and 7. They are all black which I understand is hard to rehome.

I don't know what to do. I have started thinking seriously about rehoming because this is so miserable but feel like an awful person. Am I being unreasonable? Can anyone help?

I would like to think that somewhere like cats protection wouldn’t be ‘sniffy’ when someone is having to rehome due to marriage breakdown.

You say you think they are often chancing their luck, how often are you feeding them? I have two cats and if I fed them whenever they ‘begged’ they’d get at least 5 meals a day!

Cat proof the garden.
Look into different foods options.
Keeping you awake? Vet check. Consider why the change in behaviour.
You got cats. They aren't disposable.

Look. Take a deep breath, feel bad, then forgive yourself and just accept that you're one of those people for whom life has gone tits up and some of the cats have to go.

It's not ideal. You didn't plan it this way. Sometimes the guilt and sadness about the fallout for pets after a marriage break up seems to get all mixed up and magnified with sadness and stress about the split itself. Don't beat yourself up anymore

As others have said I’d cat proof the back garden

Also don’t shop in Sainsbury’s you’ll save a fortune going to Asda, coop, Aldi etc - I’ve got a high paying job and very rarely cross the sainsbury threshold as it’s expensive - shop wiser and keep your moggies

People's circumstances change, with the best will in the world. Keep the oldest cat and take the rest to a cat rescue. Just look and see how many there are in your area, and perhaps split the cats between them. Lots of people take cats from rescue centres. You have to do what's best for you as well as the cats.

Oh and keep them out of your bedroom or house they can sleep in the vet proof garden if you have a shelter and warm beds for them to snooze in

I have every sympathy - when you take on pets you don't have a crystal ball about what your future is going to bring, and cats are a commitment. In terms of cutting down costs, I'd definitely suggest looking around for cheaper catfood - cutting back on wet food and providing more dry. And looking out for online offers which might mean buying really big bags (also works for cat litter). If they're fussy, they will come round to it eventually if that's all there is. You don't say if any of them are keen to go out and if that's making them restless. If so, is there any way you can let them out the back, which (presumably if its a terrace) it is reasonably difficult to get through to the scary road at the front? You don't necessarily need a door or even a garden - a ground floor window, with maybe a box/rubbish bin or similar at the other side will allow them access. I ended up in a flat where I got a cat tunnel drilled through a wall, although that is only an option if you own. But if you really can't cope, I'd also suggest talking to smaller local rescues. Many will operate in a way that the cats stay with you whilst the rescue is looking for homes, which is much less stressful for the cats. Good luck!

I think most rehoming centres will understand that by rehoming now that your circumstances have changed you are trying to put the cats first. I would hang on to the oldest one or two though.

If you can, find a rehoming centre that has a well-maintained Facebook feed as that increases the cats' chances of adoption. There are also places that do home-from-home adoptions, if you could manage a little extra time with them, as then they wouldn't have to be in kennels at all.

Ignore the nasty posters, OP, some people revel in being unpleasant and kicking people when they are down. So sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope you find a solution.

I find Amazon do some good deals on bulk packs of wet cat food, 120 pouch boxes

You’ve had a difficult time, I’m sorry.

My suggestions would probably be:
Keep trying to rehome at least two of the younger ones.

Catproof the garden as much as you can.

Feed them a bigger meal once a day- whenever they are most getting under your feet.

Consider putting them out in the evening/night- I know normally you’d recommend the opposite but your busy road will be quieter overnight.

Counterintuitive as it might sound but it might be worth buying more expensive food. Look at royal canin or Purina veterinary diets. The protein is far better quality and as such more nutritionally dense. So your cats will eat (and shit) less.

Most of the supermarket cat foods are packed with bulking agents and whilst they fill the cats up they are hungry soon after - bit like Chinese for Cats!!

Buy the food online as it will be far cheaper than at the vets.

Oh and cats naturally eat little and often. So leaving a dry food down all day is far better for them than two set meal times. I cannot emphasise this enough though - if you go for a dry food make sure it's a decent quality and not supermarket as they often lead to urinary crystals and all sorts of hassle.

You know, op. This is your fault. I mean how dare you not be able to predict the future. (Shakes head)
(Tongue in cheek, obvs)

In some cases re-homing is the kindest things to do for everyone involved. It isn't ideal for anyone, but sometimes it's for the best.

As said above, keep the elderly one if you can as s/he will probably spend the remainder of their life in a shelter.

A solution for them eating a lot is to get diet food. We use Royal Canin. You only need to use a very small amount as the food is very filling. Slightly more expensive to buy, but it lasts a lot longer.

If you can't convert them to house cats and the road is an issue, then it wouldn't be fair on them to keep them. If they're out doorsy cats then that's what they'll crave.

I echo above, please don't rehome on Facebook or the likes. You never know who they're going to.

Don't beat yourself up. Situations change. Life gets hard - X

I'm sure OP wouldn't have got cats if she knew her circumstances were going to change quite so much!

It's a crappy situation to be in OP but I would definitely look at rehoming at least the youngest two. As others have said, if you have a garden try and cat proof it. Although not easy if you're struggling for cash. Try and play with them in the hour or so before you go to bed, tire them out a bit. Leave dry food out all day, maybe in one of those bowls that they have to play with a bit to get it to come out. But ultimately if you find you are struggling too much then the best thing to do is rehome them all (although do try and keep the elderly one).

I have just adopted two elderly (15!) black toms. They are absolutely gorgeous (and they are very young for their age, mentally and physically - most people can't believe their age), but the centre practically gave me a parade for taking them.

I would persist for a little while OP, and then consider parting with a pair of your youngest.

A friend of mine also has cats and lives by a very busy main road. She has had a "cat run" built in her back garden - mostly chicken wire and fence posts. The cats have a cat flap leading to it, branches and things to climb/sit on and it seems to work very well.

As for the cost of food - Aldi and Lidl are cheaper than sainsburys or it may be cheaper to buy in bulk from a cash and carry?

In defence of some earlier posts, OP didn’t mention a marriage breakdown and huge loss in income in her first post. It did sound like she was just fed up with caring for them, which is clearly not the case now she’s explained further.

Cats are expensive and of course nobody can predict the future, but I think the first few responses (mine included) would have been less harsh had the OP explained at the beginning. I cross-posted and apologised for doing so.

I had to leave one of my cats behind when a relationship broke down. They were litter mates and a pair and had never been separated. One was mine, one was ex-DP’s. My ex kept our flat and I thought the best thing to do was keep them together in the home they’d always known. I would never have split them up, but I was heartbroken at leaving them.

It’s always hard when a marriage ends and even harder when you have to consider rehoming pets too. I recently moved in with my new partner and we’ve rescued two cats - a kitten and an older male. Both black and the rescues were relieved we were happy to take both!

Good luck OP - I’m sure you’ll make it work for them one way or another

I do want to say that cheap supermarket food is often a false economy. It’s full of grains and fillers and can cause long-term health problems - particularly in males.

Your best bet is a high quality, grain-free dry food. Lily’s Kitchen, Applaws and Nature’s Menu are good quality and pretty much always on offer online. You never need to pay full-price and it’s a lot more filling (more protein) than the supermarket brands.

Buy in bulk online.
My mum gets 132x 100g pouches (felix) for about £30 online. I can ask her for the link if you'd like.
Mix it with a cheap value dried food, it's certainly not the best for them but will keep them full. So put down a few big bowls of dry food in the morning for them to pick at then put down half a pouch each at about 2pm then another right before bed. It's better than giving them away, or leaving them stuck in a shelter. This way you'd be able to stretch 132 pouches to about 27 days, which isn't too bad. And a value cat food is only a few quid for kilos of the stuff.
I don't know how you combat the problem of living by a main road however...

Please don’t feed them cheap dry food - it will cost a fortune in vet bills in the long run. It’s really bad for male cats especially - it can cause crystals which are painful for the cat and bloody expensive to treat.

If you've only recently moved they are probably unsettled by their new environment which will be making things harder.

I would seriously consider cat-proofing your back garden/yard or whatever space you have outside and make it as interesting and cat-friendly as possible, with hidey spaces, toys, climbing things and litter trays, and a cat flap so they at least have more options for exercise.

And seriously look at buying bulk online. They won't starve although they will undoubtedly turn up their noses at new food in the short term. Shop around for less expensive feed - cheaper doesn't always mean poorer quality. I've recently discovered an amazing all in one feed for my rescue greyhound, who has the usual greyhound sensitive digestion, and it's only £10 for 20kgs. And it's quality stuff that doesn't upset her and she actually likes. So definitely worth doing some research into money saving food options. Its called Dr Johns and they do a cat version called Gilpa which you can look at online.

Cats will eat wet food all day long if you will let them. Give them 2 pouches a day each and a small bowl of biscuits which will be enough. They will try their luck for more, but they don’t need it, it’s just greed!

Best not to ask on AIBU about something so painful :(.

If local charities won't help you (it's potluck what help they'll offer)
I'd make an offer on Local Facebook freeads pages, tbh. You'll have to explain your changed circs, again to avoid the type of grief you've had here. Do it briefly & factually that you are looking for good not perfect homes. Talk up what's nice about each cat (with pictures). WE wanted 5-7 yr old nice cats that would get along with my children. I would have seriously been interested. We could only get kittens which was annoying, tbh.

You interview any respondents to FB notices & do a quick home-visit before letting a cat go to them.