to think we need a Mums of teenagers Union or something (lighthearted)

[Somethingfantastic89]

This would be to:

Tell each other what we actually let them wear and watch and buy and do, instead of hearing all the time "ALL my friends do it!" and secretly wondering if we're really the only parent on earth who makes their child miserable.

Share thoughts on how not to go mad every time we hear "yeah sure I'll do it in a minute" and then see our dear teen disappear for a few hours... or urgently need the bathroom... or suddenly remember a missed homework... or feel sick...

To make a list of all the things we need to change so they're happy, all the things they know better than us... starting by who we are, what we eat, where we live, what time we wake up, what we watch, what music we like, how we drive, the choices we make, what we cook ... I'm sure I left out loads.

And much more (suggestions welcome)

I think such a Union would be great
AIBU?

Oh count me in.

Had a school meeting today and I was ‘hidiously embarrassing’ - my crime? I said ‘ Hello Bob (not real name) to DS’s friend after Bob had said hello to me.

This earned me a glare, a hissing ‘oh God, I told you not to look at my friends, let alone talk to them’ and then he dared to look affronted when I laughed, loudly, when he asked if we could get a Maccy D on the way home!

'In a minute' 'I'm coming' - all of which mean completely the opposite!

So many members in our union already - we are not alone

We must must MUST find a way to have a teenage catchphrase bingo night, I know it will just be the most amazing night of my life!!

I vote yay to "I will survive" being our song - we could change some of the words (make it more sarcastic and teenage mum style lol)

wineoclock one day I was standing near my car waiting for my youngest to come out of drums lesson, and I saw one of my 16 year old's friends pass, he smiled and waved and I said "Hi Bob" (not real name either). When I went home I told my DS oh I saw your friend Bob and he said "omg I hope you didn't say anything embarrassing" and DS (15) added "she can't help it don't you know". Apparently it was hilarious.

DD (15) sorry, not DS

Count me in.

There is something terrible somewhere in DDs room. I've no idea what it is and where it originates, but the smell is worse every day. I have looked in all her drawers and cupboards. Down the side of her bed. Behind her curtains. I have found various things of varying degrees of repulsiveness but nothing which explains The Smell. Any advice? I can't go in the put anymore. I just can't.

DS has a wide collection of glasses and half eaten pizza, but no lingering smell except lynx.

I'm in. Bastards.
Them not you.

I'm in. DS is 12, 13 very soon. I actually shouted 'WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS PLACE IS?! A HOTEL?!' yesterday . As soon as the words started coming out if my mouth I realised I sounded like my Mum but I couldn't stop. I think I heard DS's eyeroll from the other room. And I know exactly what I thought of my Mum when I was a teen.

I may need the support of a Union Rep very soon.

I’m in.
Three teenagers here - I have found my people 😄

And great to have mums on who have been through it. It’s hard sometimes I find to keep a sense of perspective and worry it will always be like this.

somethingfantastic89

Would this do?

I will survive (the teenage hell)
MN rewrite

“First, I was afraid, I was petrified.
When those 12 bright candles on your cake had finally died.
Since then I’ve spent so many nights just thinking, “where did I go wrong?”
And I grew strong and I learned how we’d get along...

And now you're back from being at school.
I just walked in to find you instagramming with your friends so cool.
Apparently “that word is lame”
And I cause you nothing but shame...
And if I knew what it was like to be a teenager again...
I’d let you go- stay out til late,
I’d buy you drink and weed and maybe speed and let you get some ink.
Isn’t that the girl that you were best friends with last week...and now you’re telling me that there’s no way way on earth you’ll ever speak?

But, me oh my, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to laugh, I know I'll stay alive
I'll pour myself a glass of wine, I’ll rant about you when online,
And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey...“

Heman - that's the worst thing, they turn you into your parents. I've said 'when I was your age...' , 'it's like Blackpool illuminations in here' 'I'm not running a hotel' 'when you get your own house, you can do what you like'.

One word - streaks.

The day would be scheduled round them if TDB (Teenage Dirt Bag) had his way.

Great thread!

I'm coming out the other side of this as youngest DS turned 20 a couple of months ago but not so deep down he's still an overgrown teenager who can be challenging at times.

I agree with everything SistersofPercy said in her very wise post above, most importantly the picking your battles bit.

Hell yes.
"When you are 18 with a place of your own you can...but right now you are still a child and will do as you are damm well told in MY house.'

"Do you think electric is free? Put the damm lights out when you leave a room."

"SHUT THE DOOR"!!!

"Get back in the shower and this time use shampoo and soap and bloody shave you look like a right scruff."
(Not that i was ever told that but prob would have been if i had been a boy😀)

And dont get me started on the plates, cups, wrappers, fruit peel/cores in thier bedroom.
"I dont know where the last cake bar went, why do you always presume it was something to do with me? Erm maybe cos the wrapper is under your bed?" 😀😀😀

Omg what the fuck are streaks? My teen apparently will die a social death if he doesnt do them on bloody snapchat!

I once conviscated DSs phone, and broke his 245 day streaks.

The meltdown was something I’ve never witnessed in my life ever before. Quite comical.

I’m in too

Hell yes to bloody streaks.

I've just asked DS what streaks are. Not nearly as exciting as I thought. He does do them as it's too much effort. And I know he should be asleep but he caaaaaan't because It's toooooo hard. I really can't be arsed shouting 'GO TO SLEEP. GO TO SLEEP' every night for the next 6 years.

I know this may kill the light heartedness of the thread but want to share some useful advice I recently got (my dd is almost 14 and I’m going grey and wrinkly!) advice came from a psychologist.

Ignore all eye rolls, door slams, stomping up stairs, loud huffs. If you react you give them fuel!

If they continue with the above (especially the huffs etc to get your attention) just ask calmly if there’s something wrong. If they start ranting ask them to leave and come back when they’re calm then ignore until they’re calm.

If they’re ranting in general, ignore and ask them to leave the room or you leave the room. Only speak to them when they are calm. Apparently they’ll soon get bored coz it’s no fun arguing with yourself.

I must admit I am still in the early stages of this and I die a little inside each time she huffs as I just want to explode and tell her to shut the fuck up apparently it’s a tried and tested technique so fingers crossed!!

You can kinda tell how bad its got that I’m getting advice from a fucking professional

Isadora YES!!! wow that's really good and I'm singing it in my head!

i'm thinking we should also have a "Things we say that our mums used to say" Bingo

What I know about streaks: 1/ they're what make my DD pull all sorts of stupid faces and take selfies - drives me insane 2/ a streak should never be broken because it's the pillar of my DD's social life.

Feeling really old right now

ducksake that is sound advice and it might actually work. But I need to learn how to implode while keeping a serene face first

I am joining 100%
I have had to resort to a locked metal safe in the fridge! My DD is like a plague of locusts if unsupervised for a few seconds!
I also have hidden stash (food) in the garage, well actually it's not that hidden, just out of DD eyeline as she is too lazy to actually look beyond the obvious!
She also has her own set of dark grey towels ( 4 bath sized ones and own towel rail) and is banned from touching the others ( not always adhered to but better than free access to family towels)
The internet for all her devices goes off at 11, she had to use her data after that so maybe for a few nights she is asleep before it gets light!

I haven’t had much opportunity to test it out yet since I was told this on Friday...it’s as if she has sniffed out that I’m on to her

Her favourite word is “ok”. This normally comes after everything I say / shout / ask of her. Winds me up and she knows it!!

I’ve not been allowed to drive for 5 months (seizures) and it’s been lovely having a great excuse not to be her taxi although woe betide my dh in he turns up to pick her up in his work van instead of the car!!!

All I get is 'I Know Mum' - oh right, so you know all about car insurance seeing that you done this so many times in the past then, for the car that I've just bought you!

DDs room is obviously the last stop for a blackhole within the universe from the amount of crap that I take out of there, given that I have never actually seen her take anything into it.

Will our union have a benefits package? Gin, wine, non-prescription drugs.

If they continue with the above (especially the huffs etc to get your attention) just ask calmly if there’s something wrong. If they start ranting ask them to leave and come back when they’re calm then ignore until they’re calm.

If they’re ranting in general, ignore and ask them to leave the room or you leave the room. Only speak to them when they are calm. Apparently they’ll soon get bored coz it’s no fun arguing with yourself.

Doesnt work if they follow you around the house bloody mithering on, trying to 'reason with you', promising the world to get a punishment overturned, criticising you, calling you names...