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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been left out

44 replies

Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 09:03

My only two best friends I have a few more but these to where really close friends Have gone on a night out with out me. Wouldn’t be a big deal normally but we haven’t been out in ages because they can’t afford to. On the Friday I even rang one of them and said we should go clubbing soon. They joined up for friends sisters birth day I know her sister Better than my other friend. They all just recently came to mine to including the sister.

OP posts:
BlondeB83 · 12/11/2017 09:04

That’s awful, sorry OP. Could you jokingly ask them ‘Where was my invite?!’ or something.

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 09:05

I’ve put in the group chat “how was last night didn’t no you where all out”

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 12/11/2017 09:43

Some people will say YABU because they are allowed to do stuff without you but I would be upset too, especially as you mentioned going out and they didn’t say anything. It’s hurtful.

ThisTimeItsTrue · 12/11/2017 09:43

That's upsetting but maybe there is an explanation. Your message was good. It's not salty and it's not PA. See what they say. Even if they did chose to go out without you it doesn't mean they don't like you etc it might just be they were very thoughtless

LavenderDoll · 12/11/2017 09:45

That's shitty - yes people will say they dont have to include you but I think its hurtful and your message is spot on

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 09:47

One of them said it was good night should do a night out with all three of us soon that’s what I’ve been asking for the past 2 months one even said when she got paid from new job we would go out together

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 09:48

I’ve asked if I missed the invite and got no reply but one has read it

OP posts:
MittensIsReadyForWinter · 12/11/2017 09:50

I know the feeling. All of my 'friends' seem to leave me out now especially since becoming a Mum a year ago and it got so bad that I just deleted my FB so I don't need to see any more of their sh*t on there about what a good night they had. It gets easier cos you realise who your friends are and TBH you are better off without them! I only have a handful of friends now.. actually, 3 if you count my DH in as well lol! Don't bother with them anymore. Their loss x

Afternooncatnap · 12/11/2017 09:51

Do you think you may have done something to offend one of them.

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 10:15

No I don’t think I have offended any of them I spoke to them both the same day

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 12/11/2017 10:17

Learn to drive you suddenly become popular >bitter experience

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 10:33

They said sorry it was last minute I live 5 mins from town

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/11/2017 10:57

Get rid. These aren't you friends. There's no excuse for such clique exclusive behavior.

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 12:15

There the only friends I really have 😭 and there not even acting like friends

OP posts:
ThisIsMyUsername02123 · 12/11/2017 12:16

If you ask me, friends have never been worth the hassle it is to have them haha

StickThatInYourPipe · 12/11/2017 12:19

3 women is never a good idea. One always ends up feeling left out at one point or another.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/11/2017 12:22

That's really hurtful, that would lead me to believe that though they are my best friends, I am not theirs. Can you tell them you are hurt they did not include you?

Belleoftheball8 · 12/11/2017 12:31

Unfortunately op you know what they say two company and there’s a crowd it’s normally the case unless your in a bigger group to relie on others. I’m in a friendship group of four and it’s normal for us to split and do things just two or as a whole group.

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 14:50

There was 4 of us but two fell out wasn’t the end of the world as number 4 was hardly able to come out but it does cause issues as she won’t come if number 4 is there now

OP posts:
Belleoftheball8 · 12/11/2017 14:57

So when you were a group of four did the other two go out together? If so they aren’t doing anything they wouldn’t normally do

Nikephorus · 12/11/2017 15:10

Get rid. These aren't you friends. There's no excuse for such clique exclusive behavior.
Are people never allowed to go out in smaller groups? Must they always invite everyone? Maybe the other two hit it off, have things in common & just fancied a night out on the spur of the moment. I'm fairly sure that it's not laid down in law that you have to invite a friend to every single event you attend & be their friend for the rest of eternity Hmm

blackheartsgirl · 12/11/2017 15:17

Abbsiss Learn to drive you suddenly become popular >bitter experience<

Don’t you just Angry . Same experience here. Been used for my car many a time by people claiming to be a mate.

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 16:14

They still haven’t replied

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 12/11/2017 16:33

If I get rid of them I am friendless and I can’t keep fake friends can I

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 12/11/2017 16:40

Just because they didn't invite you along on one evening does NOT mean that they aren't your friends. Friendship is not an all or nothing deal.