Teenage Daughter Rant

[justilou1]

It would seem that the moment my beautiful, reasonable, very academic and intelligent daughter turned 13 she started watching makeup tutorials on youtube. Naively, I thought it would be harmless enough. NO! She now has a penchant for high-end makeup. I get that at 13 she has no responsibilities or concept of the value of money, etc.... but I am really worried about how OBSESSED she is getting with makeup. She spent $70 on a bloody eyeshadow palette (her money) and is now obsessing about a Fenty Beauty lipgloss, which is currently out of stock everywhere here in Aus. (Even drugstore makeup is insanely expensive here in Aus) I think her obsession sometimes has a very teenage sense of entitlement, but it is also expresses insecurity about her looks, so I try and handle it gently. But if I have to listen to her rattling on about how "pigmented" a flipping highlighter is, or how "buttery" her next eyeshadow obsession is, I am going to take her to the doctor and get them to check for lobotomy scars! Anyone else??? Got any ideas on how to re-focus her on the stuff that matters???

Nope. It will get worse.

On the plus side dd does a fab job of making me look half decent on the rare occasions I go out.

A word of caution re ordering on line. Don't know how it is in Aus, but dd sometimes orders from the US and the import duty can be eye watering.

My beautiful 16 year old spends hours uglifying herself, and it does make me sad to see it. She puts on extremely exaggerated excessive and hideous eye make-up every morning and leaves it on until after I am asleep, so I never see her lovely face any more, as it is like she puts a mask on. Also, she has beautiful wavy shiny hair, which used to almost glow with health, and now it is lank and dreary looking after all the straightening.

I know I am shallow to care, and she is the same lovely person underneath, but I hate to see her reject herself in favour of some strange and unnatural looking mask, and I worry that other people get a very false first impression of who she is.

These joys lay ahead for me I feel with a 9 year old who loves makeup but horrid mummy doesn’t let her waer any!

Fenty I believe is Rhianna’s range, so probably expensive because it’s endorsed by a singer

Have you kidnapped MY 13 year old? Wait until she’s spending over £100 for a meet and greet.

Ooh but agree with Ursula. She is fab at doing my make-up. I didn’t even know what contouring was. I was still wearing green eyeliner and blue mascara!

This was my niece. She is now 15 and charging her mates £15 a pop to do their make up for a night out and is making about £90 a week. So she might be one self sufficient once she gets better. I am pretty sure they will grow out of it. Of all the things she could be dabbling in, high end make up is not the worst.

I have a 14 year old boy who is obsessed with hoodies, that’s quite an expensive hobby. He has asked for 7 different ones for Christmas, he will be getting one.

DD 17 wears no make up at all. It makes her skin dry and itchy

Many 16 yos take 1.5/2 hours plus to get ready. I know I did. So yes, I’d expect it to get worse. Aus$70 is about £40. V expensive for a young teen!

Why do you lot fund this expense?

I have a 14 year old boy who is obsessed with hoodies, that’s quite an expensive hobby. He has asked for 7 different ones for Christmas, he will be getting one

What sorts of hoodies? I have a 10 year old DS whose only request is expensive Lego sets at the moment and shows no interest in clothes, I'm wondering how much longer I'm going to be able to pick his clothes!

Girls do seem so much more advanced make up wise! They are perfectly contoured and made up at 14. At 14 I had orange face and blue eye shadow and questionable coloured lips thanks to Constance Carroll's one shade of foundation and heather shimmer lipstick!

My 13 year old is exactly the same! I don’t fund her wants, she can save her pocket money and buy it if she wants.
I was seriously unimpressed by fenty, I needed a new foundation and heard it was good, oh my word it’s dreadful!! Horribly chalky and dreadful texture. Glad I didn’t buy it!

If it's her pocket money/birthday money she's spending, then it's really up to her. You might not like it, but it's her current way of expressing herself, which she might well grow out of. And it is relatively harmless. Part of being a teenager is to get a hobby or way of presenting yourself that narks your parents, after all.

My 16-year old niece spends a fortune on make-up. She regards Mac and Benefit as budget ranges, preferring Charlotte Tilbury and By Terry. She also spends a fortune on hair products, to repair the damage caused by straightening her (already straight) waist length auburn hair.

Meanwhile, mum wears the same old No7 mascara she's used since she was a teen, a squirt of Rimmel BB cream and whatever powder and lippy she bought last.

See if you can get her to subscribe to pixiwoo. These are ‘older’ make up artists and their techniques are very good plus they come at it from a more balanced mature angle. They might rub off on her a bit. It sounds like she is at the experimentation stage when girls don’t go for a smokey eye balanced out with more muted lips and no contouring but instead she is doing EVERYTHING all at once. She’ll grow out of it.

Part of being a teenager is to get a hobby or way of presenting yourself that narks your parents, after all

Very true. Back in the late 60's/early 70s, I had to take drugs to nark my parents, I bet they wished they'd just tried to ban my black eyeliner and chalky-white face.

Also 'focus on the stuff that matters'. FFS she is 13. Make up (or vloggers, or whatever the replacement for One Direction is) IS the stuff that matters to a lot of young teens. Are you hugely woke and worthy, OP? Could this be a bit of a rebellion against Earnest Mummy who tells her to think of the refugees every time she orders a new lipstick?
People who have a mix of 'frivolous' interests and serious pursuits are generally better off - and better company - than the ones who are too high-minded to have any fun.

It is as if youtube brainwashes teens at an impressionable age ....

FWiW I loved make up at 13, never had money for it though so spent break time at Debenhams applying testers at the beauty counter....

Anyway, I grew out of it!

Still like the transformative power of make up, but too lazy now

I loved make up at 13. I used to have purple lips and electric blue eyeliner.

I think I’ve an eyeliner lurking somewhere now. Not electric blue, though...

Why do you have to write so many disclaimers about how “amazing” she is? Would it be any different if she wasn’t academic and intelligent ffs? Are only thick, stupid kids supposed to want makeup? This sort of attitude on MN drives me mad. And as for the PP who says her daughter “uglifies” herself...

There is no wonder these kids are obsessed with makeup when their mothers define them by the fact they are “beautiful”. They hear that looks are the only thing that matters, so why are you so surprised they are focusing on their looks??

I'm pretty au fait with the whole make up thing, but I have three rules.
One: don't touch my make up.
Two: if you've put on too much/wrong colour etc and you look like a clown I will tell you so and you'll tone it down.
Three: you're not going to school with a full face. A bit of mascara and lip gloss is fine, if I can 'tell' you're wearing make up I'll wash it off with the dishcloth.

Otherwise, she's free to spend hours and all her pocket money on make up.

I find taking the make up away is a brilliant punishment!

Last year dd spent an eye watering amount importing Kylie lip kits from the US. (Just why?!) It seems that doing just that is one of the things that this generation has done that they will laugh over when they are our age. She realises that they are nothing special but she can feel included because she’s tried it if you know what I mean.

The beauty companies have really used social media well to have convinced teens and parents that £30 for lipstick is reasonable for young girls and that the cheaper stuff at Superdrug is inferior.