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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not wear my wedding ring

47 replies

Inkandbone · 31/10/2017 21:14

I hate rings.

They feel weird on my fingers, I don't like having to remove them when I wash my hands and then when I do remove them I forget and scurry back to the toilet in a rush.

Dh and I have been sniping at each other lately and he brought this up as something he's not happy with.

So AIBU not to wear them? It's not a new thing. I married dh in 2005 and after losing the ring three times that summer gave up and the rings have been in a jewellery box since.

OP posts:

Handsfull13 · 31/10/2017 21:16

Could you wear them on a necklace or as a bracelet if they would be more comfortable?

TheNotSoGoodWife · 31/10/2017 21:17

Dh and I have both stopped wearing ours, it’s not a sign of anything other than we don’t wear them anymore. Been married for over 17 years and no problems that I’m aware of.

Grimbles · 31/10/2017 21:18

I don't think yabu - I don't always wear my rings as I take them off at night and forget to put them back off, and sometimes my fingers swell so I can't wear them anyway!

Saying that, could you compromise by wearing it on a necklace?

Original poster

Inkandbone · 31/10/2017 21:19

I really don't like necklaces either, they rub against me and snag in my hair and annoy me.

Bracelet is possible but I only like stiff bracelets.

I'm not really a jewellery person!

OP posts:

Original poster

Inkandbone · 31/10/2017 21:20

My mother used to sit on the beach wearing swimsuit, wedding, engagement, eternity and other rings, charm bracelet, at least two necklaces and earrings. And pink lipstick.

WHY

OP posts:

HeteronormativeHaybales · 31/10/2017 21:22

Agree with getting a lovely chain to wear it on, or what about getting it melted down and made into a pendant, perhaps combined with the stone from your engagement ring if you have one?

I do sort of see where your dh is coming from. I'd be a bit sad if dh stopped wearing his (as it is he never takes it off).

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/10/2017 21:22

What else are you sniping about? Is he feeling insecure and this is a tangible things he's fixed on? Or is he just a bit possessive and unreasonable?

DH wasn't totally happy with me not taking his name or wearing rings. Mainly because I did in my last marriage. But he's very secure and has realised it's not a sign of anything.

TheNotSoGoodWife · 31/10/2017 21:23

Can your dh explain why he’s not happy? I kind of get it (despite my no ring status) - the symbolic aspect, but it is just that. Has he got reasons to be concerned that there are greater problems?

TittyGolightly · 31/10/2017 21:23

I'm the same. Haven't worn my rings for years (married 13) - neither has DH.

ownedbySWD · 31/10/2017 21:24

DH and I aren't jewelry people either. He lost his ring a couple of house moves ago. I kept thinking I'd find.it.in the next box, but it is long gone by now. My fingers tend to change size multiple times a day, and a ring that is comfortably tight one moment might slip off my finger an hour later. It's a nuisance. I like my rings because of sentimental value but I'm just as married without wearing them!

HeteronormativeHaybales · 31/10/2017 21:24

X post re the necklaces.

Keep it on your keyring or on the zip or handle of your favourite bag?

Original poster

Inkandbone · 31/10/2017 21:25

Sometimes he gets moody and then fixates on something I've supposedly done to moan about. The ring is the latest thing. It's nothing to do with it being a wedding ring, I just don't like rings, which he knows, but apparently owning a vagina means I should wear rings

OP posts:

easton · 31/10/2017 21:25

I never wear my wedding and engagement rings either. I dont like the way they feel on my fingers.

donajimena · 31/10/2017 21:26

I don't wear my engagement ring much. I hate the feeling of ALL jewellery. I can manage a light necklace which is barely noticeable. I have been known to rip off heavier necklaces (usually after 🍷) when I can't open the clasp.
My fiance did try making an issue of it but I asked him if it was because I wore so much jewellery it was upsetting for him? I had a blank look but I think he gets it!

Original poster

Inkandbone · 31/10/2017 21:26

Glad it isn't just me. Dh is convinced I am the only woman who never wears rings !

OP posts:

BriechonCheese · 31/10/2017 21:27

I rarely wear my wedding ring. I had to take it off regularly for my old profession and never got back in the habit of wearing it.
The ring is only a symbol, the vows I took and the love and commitment I feel toward my DH are more valuble and meaningful than any symbol.

tryandtryagain · 31/10/2017 21:27

Both me and my husband have never worn rings. I dislike jewellery. We've been together 17 years. I don't feel the need to wear a piece of expensive medal on my finger just because I'm married.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/10/2017 21:28

Sometimes he gets moody and then fixates on something I've supposedly done to moan about.

Hmm, that doesn't sound healthy.

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 31/10/2017 21:29

I love wearing my rings but DH rarely wears him and I can’t say it bothers me. He doesn’t even wear a watch!

tryandtryagain · 31/10/2017 21:29

Metal

HeteronormativeHaybales · 31/10/2017 21:29

Oh, I don't think I'd be finding ways to placate him on this IIWY, actually. He doesn't sound terribly reasonable.

BelligerentGardenPixies · 31/10/2017 21:29

I haven't worn mine in years for similar reasons. I just don't like wearing jewelry full stop, no reflection on my feelings about marriage.

donajimena · 31/10/2017 21:29

I did used to wear rings in my youth. I had to have them cut off urgently during my pregnancy. Since then I have been ring free. They freak me out whichever finger.

80sMum · 31/10/2017 21:30

DH and I don't wear our wedding rings either. He stopped wearing his after about 6 months. I carried gamely on wearing mine for another 30 or so years but haven't worn it for about 10 years now. I'm not even sure that I know where it is!

Liara · 31/10/2017 21:31

I don't wear a ring. I used to, and then started leading a much more physical life and found it just got in the way. So I stopped. So did dh.

Methinks this is one of those 'pass the salt' arguments, nothing to do with the actual thing and actually about something underlying which is not being discussed.

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