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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flat mates not cleanonh

28 replies

Lalalalallala · 31/10/2017 18:08

Have persuaded, cajoled, consulted, drawn up a rota, stuck rota up, had discussions, been nice, reminded them of the mouse problem we briefly had, asked them to use dishwasher... And here we are!

They are my friends too but I am exhausted. “I didn’t know whose week it was” “I’ve done a —cursory— wipe down of the surfaces - therefore I have cleaned” “I don’t like using the dishwasher” “I think we should only clean as and when ie never”

Suggestions? Am sick of it Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalallala · 31/10/2017 18:09

To put it into context, I am really not anal but just expect everyone to do their bit. They won’t pay for a cleaner. Clutter left everywhere in our tiny lounge and only one flat mate clears it up - they are also pissed off. The offenders never clear up own clutter.

OP posts:
PandorasXbox · 31/10/2017 18:12

Find new flat mate?

Blankuser1992 · 31/10/2017 18:12

Simple solution

Clean your own stuff and leave the others mess.

While it's not nice to live like that it would be the best thing

Or find new flat mates

BriechonCheese · 31/10/2017 18:15

Ideally it would be a situation where you only clean your own stuff however if vermin are involved then you can't really let the place fester.

They either need to pay you or a pay a cleaner for the extra work.

How old are you all?

Vitalogy · 31/10/2017 18:15

Best thing to do is you and other flat mate that doesn't want to live in a pigsty move somewhere else. Leave them to it.

HouseOfGoldandBones · 31/10/2017 18:19

I would tell them that, as a minimum, it needs to be properly cleaned twice a week (say Wednesdays & Fridays). Make it clear that people should clear away their own stuff beforehand to allow this to happen.

Make it clear that if stuff isn't cleared away, it will be boxed up & left outside the culprit's door.

With regards to plates, cups etc. I would keep your own in your room, so that you know you have clean things to use.

If the "problem" housemates don't do their bit on their week of cleaning, do the same. Put everything into boxes & put it outside their door.

splendidisolation · 31/10/2017 18:21

In a houseshare majority rules.

If you're outnumbered you need to move out and live with cleaner people.

Cornettoninja · 31/10/2017 18:21

Would a cleaner deal with clutter anyway?

I honestly think there has to be a certain amount of acceptance with housemates. They know how you feel and have chosen their reaction to that information. It's a losing battle I'm afraid.

You need to take a deep breath for your own stress levels and think of solutions you don't mind putting into practice.

For clutter could you buy a couple of storage boxes and periodically sweep their shit into them and dump them in their rooms? If you need the box just dump it as you need it.

Would it be worth sharing a cleaner between you and the other housemate who tidies? Working on the basis you'll end up doing it anyway is it worth just paying for it for the reduction in stress levels?

I'm not sure how you tell who the lazy fuckers are before you live with them tbh. If it's your place next time leave a pile of coasters out when you interview and see if they voluntarily use one without been asked Grin

Original poster
Lalalalallala · 31/10/2017 18:35

It’s 2 against 2 and other housemate would disagree on principle with just us two paying for a cleaner - the other two would love it Grin

Yes agree with majority rules thing, but what is galling is how they agree and then fall back into old habits. It’s rude and dismissive. They are happy to be cleaned for but not to do the cleaning.

I agree (as do they) that we should clear up our own mess and then person responsible that week should do the deep clean stuff. But they never clear up their own mess.

OP posts:
clippityclock · 31/10/2017 18:39

Oh I had this. I would pick up all their shit, including dirty pans etc and throw it on their bed. They soon started to do it.

Or treat them like a child and throw there stuff in a bin and just hide it.

SilverSpot · 31/10/2017 18:47

This is why I didn't live with my closest friends - my closest friends are fun not clean and today which I value in housemates!

Clutter in sitting room - have a box that loves behind the sofa/under the coffee table. Dump anything left out in there.

Pots and pans and dishes not being cleaned - have your own cooking set and plates etc. Take out anything in the sink and dump it in a plastic box so you can wash your own stuff up. Keep your kitchen stuff in your cupboard or in a plastic box under your bed.

Dirty kitchen / bathrrom etc. How gross is it? potentially just live with it being pretty gross until the less clean people reach their tolerance?

It's infuriating. I could never live with people who don't ride and clean up after themselves.

SilverSpot · 31/10/2017 18:48

Can you and the clean house mate move into a 2 bed?

MyKingdomForBrie · 31/10/2017 18:52

Move. I could not live like that. Give them an ultimatum that you will leave if they don’t change.

Original poster
Lalalalallala · 01/11/2017 11:17

bumping

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 01/11/2017 11:20

A box for each person. Clutter goes into box next to bin. If not tidied away by bin day it goes out with the trash.
If they will behave like children, treat them like children.

PhoenixMama · 01/11/2017 11:32

Every house I’ve lived in with flat mates we paid for a cleaner. I’d get some quotes together & tell them that it’s that or you go on strike!

HeebieJeebies456 · 01/11/2017 11:39

vermin involved? Eewwwww!!!! About time you got the landlord involved then isn't it?

Send landlord weekly pics of their mess....hopefully they'll get given their marching orders.

As for 'friends'....no, friends don't treat you with such contempt.....

knowsmorethansnow · 01/11/2017 12:28

Put their mess in their room whenever they leave it about.

whyismykid · 01/11/2017 12:30

Get a cleaner

heartshapedpositnotes · 01/11/2017 15:21

And those people who don't like to use dishwashers (usually for completely illogical reasons) drive me bonkers. They always seem to be the people who are incapable of washing up properly by hand and leave bits of food on the crockery and don't wash handles or use hot enough water.

Goosegrass · 01/11/2017 15:26

Have in the past also picked up all their shit left lying around including dishes and put it in their bed. Duvet on top. Did it with my teens more recently.

endofthelinefinally · 01/11/2017 15:30

Dd had a dreadful flatmate last year.
They got mice because of it.
The stress was terrible.
People like this will never change. They just dont care.
The only thing that will work is either they move or you move.

WineAndTiramisu · 01/11/2017 15:39

Put their stuff (dirty pots etc) in a box outside in back garden (if you have one, should avoid vermin inside), keep your stuff in your room so they can't borrow it.
Clutter I would just put in a black bin bag behind something (sofa maybe?)
Hopefully they'll eventually get fed up and clear their own stuff up...

SilverSpot · 01/11/2017 15:40

What are you gaining by bumping? What more is there to say?

There are no 'good' options that will turn your housemates into lovely clean people.

doodle01 · 01/11/2017 15:42

yep they will not change. You can create rotas all you like its common decency some have it some dont.

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