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Original poster

Charity shave off ...

50 replies

MrsEight · 30/10/2017 10:49

I am happy to be told I am wrong Smile

It is just me who feels a bit uncomfortable about people shaving their hair off for cancer charity.

Friend is doing it “live” on FB sponsored by others.

It’s fantastic that she is raising money for a great cause - but to me it just smacks a bit of “me me me aren’t I amazing” and lots of comments about how “brave” she is.

I have another close friend who has cancer atm and I just wonder - I dunno I suppose it doesn’t really matter but it just seems peoples reasons for doing good things are less altruistic these days what with being able to broadcast said “good deed” all over social media.

OP posts:
Henrysmycat · 30/10/2017 11:32

Don’t care if it’s “me, me, me” as long as money are going into the charity for reasearch and help.
There’s nothing wrong with “me, me, me” in such situations.

KipperBalloon · 30/10/2017 11:41

I did this last year and raised over £1000 for a cancer charity. I gather now it's a bit controversial, but I didn't know that when I signed up, but I went ahead with itanyway, as by that point people had started sponsoring me. Luckily I haven't had any negative responses, even from those I know who have had/have cancer. It worried me a bit! I only shared it on social media to help drum up donations. I certainly didn't video it!

I made a point of telling people that I was not "brave" and I truly believe that. It's those people living with the reality of cancer who are brave.

I am proud to have raised money to help in some small way. I raised more money shaving my head than I would have by doing a 5k run, so in that way I am happy with my choice.

iVampire · 30/10/2017 12:47

Is she also donating the hair?

astoundedgoat · 30/10/2017 13:02

It's not a very effective or "high value", for want of a better way of putting it, way of raising money.

There was someone on here last year who had raised about £100 or something equally (relatively) small for such a huge sacrifice and felt she had to go through with it.

I have not been in this situation, and had lost my hair through cancer treatment, I'd be a bit Hmm if someone on my feed was raising money in such that particular (praise-grabbing) way.

On the other hand, if someone had some particular hair angle (famous Timotei model?) and was likely to raise a lot of money doing it, then that's different.

TaraCarter · 30/10/2017 13:13

If anyone on here is considering donating hair, this is a good guide on how to prepare it.

www.hairharvest.co.uk/

Theresamayscough · 30/10/2017 13:16

I agree op I don’t like it either.

I know many cancer sufferers and loosing their hair was devestating and to see someone grinning and whooping on fb having their head shaved makes my skin crawl.

There are many better ways to raise money.

TwitterQueen1 · 30/10/2017 13:17

No OP. It's not just you at all. I agree that is is narcissistic and I also think it's offensive. You don't black & red up for victims of domestic violence or do 3-legged races for amputees.

It's not brave to mimic the misfortunes of others. But Macmillan doesn't like it if you say anything negative about it.

Note: I am a bald cancer patient.

QueenofallIsee · 30/10/2017 13:19

I know what you mean OP, but I suppose any situation that provides needed funds is a good thing and chalk up my eye rolling to me being a cowbag. I rolled my eyes so far I could see over my own shoulder when a FB friend cut off their long hair and donated it - not because its not a good thing but because they wanted the hair cut regardless, the subsequent 'live feed' seemed incredibly vain to me and she actually had a t-shirt made with a before and after pic on it that would be trotted out when she needed an ego boost (see, am a cowbag)

Theresamayscough · 30/10/2017 13:22

I think In delicate situations the me me me can be quite hideous actually.

I find the ‘lets kick cancer’ and bucket list and bravely raising cash while having chemo obviously helpful and cathartic for some but there are less of people with cancer who arnt ‘brave’ and why the fuck should they be? Who don’t want to swim with whales but just want to be quiet with their families.

My dear mil couldn’t fight cancer it consumed her and she wanted to live. At her funeral her sil said ‘what a shame she gave into it’

Stupid bitch! Sorry off topic

Rodent01 · 30/10/2017 13:24

As somebody who went bald during chemo 3 years ago I think anybody doing anything to raise money is good. The sooner we get rid of cancer the better as far as I'm concerned.

My only gripe is people claiming to shave their heads and only going to grade 1 or grade 2. Shaved is bald!!!!!

Minnn · 30/10/2017 13:24

I've had cancer and lost my hair. I couldn't give a stuff how people raise money, as long as they do! And if they get a bit of attention and kudos for doing it, so what? It is a good deed, and it is a brave step, and likely to raise more than a sponsored walk or coffee morning or whatever. Good for them I say. People can be too twee about this imo. It's only hair, it grows back, they're not chopping off a limb.

Frazzled2207 · 30/10/2017 13:28

Agree it doesn’t sit right with me either. Particularly live-feeding on facebook makes it seem very attention seeking though I accept it probably raises more money that way.

But as it does undoubtedly raise money I feel it’s not the done thing to complain really.

Didn’t macmillan junp on the ice bucket challenge thing and make it “theirs” when in fact it was about ALS? Pretty dodgy thing to do IMO. Sorry slight digressions there.

TwitterQueen1 · 30/10/2017 13:34

But it's the whole "I'm just like you! I know what it's like!" attitude that stinks. No you fucking don't know. You know nothing about the horrors of cancer at all.

Cancer patients don't get feted and applauded and appear in the papers and told how marvellous they are.

Notso · 30/10/2017 13:55

I have mixed feelings, donating money and hair is positive but my Dad shaving my Mums hair off when she had cancer was probably one of the lowest points for all of us, this kind of thing seems to make light of it.

Rodent01 · 30/10/2017 14:20

It's very much each to their own, Notso, it sounds like it was very hard on your family. For me, I didn't mind the hair loss, or the breast loss, as long as the cancer went away, the rest of my body could take the hit.

MrsBirdseye · 30/10/2017 14:21

i don't get this thing at all. shave hair, grow hair, ride a bike, wear a silly costume, go sober for a month -- and people are supposed to throw money at you?
I think, if you're supporting a cause, just donate or volunteer. what's really the point of the spectacle?

Frazzled2207 · 30/10/2017 14:41

In an ideal world everyone would “just” donate but I think it’s pretty much proven that doing some kind of event eg shaving head, running a marathon or whatever generates far more cash.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/10/2017 14:44

As someone with cancer and hair loss it doesn't bother me.

MrsBirdseye · 30/10/2017 14:45

well, i never donated money to anyone like this. done fundraisers myself, like cake sales or raffle, but that sort of thing i don't get.

silkpyjamasallday · 30/10/2017 15:11

I was planning to do this in memory of my late MIL, and donate the hair to the little princess trust and the money split between cancer research and the wonderful hospice where she spent her last days. I couldn't do a 5k or whatever run, and unfortunately can't commit to the hours the hospice needs for volunteers. I know it wouldn't have offended MIL but the fact it does upset people has made me hold off. I don't think shaving your head makes you brave, and I wouldn't be live streaming as I don't have Facebook. It isn't about it being me me me, I want to raise money for a good cause, and the spectacle of a woman shaving her head is going to get a lot of donations. Unfortunately things like this are an effective way of fundraising as the majority of people don't make donations off their own backs.

MrsBirdseye · 30/10/2017 15:41

i do see another thing. shaved head for a woman is a bit of a social challenge, a non-conformist, anti-establishment thing, that's usually frowned up. But throw in charitable cause, and you get kudos for being cool Wink

Itscosyt0night · 30/10/2017 22:57

I had All my hair shaved for charity and I donated the hair. I have friends and family who have had cancer, some of them are sadly no longer with us. It was not a light decision. Secondly, I had to spend weeks walking round with no hair afterwards. I raised a significant amount. Everyone has the choice to support a charity of their choice whether it is local or global. I was grateful for the donations that I received and I hope that I helped someone. I normally support a few different charities. I only received positive feedback for my efforts.

whatabreakthrough · 30/10/2017 23:06

i don't get this thing at all. shave hair, grow hair, ride a bike, wear a silly costume, go sober for a month -- and people are supposed to throw money at you?
I think, if you're supporting a cause, just donate or volunteer. what's really the point of the spectacle?

Yes, just donate or volunteer.
Truly altruistic people don't mind not being recognised for their contributions.

Itscosyt0night · 30/10/2017 23:06

Oh and the last couple of weeks I've been baking to help raise money for 2 other charities. I've done a alot of fundraising over the years. It is hard work and takes time and effort. The baking and costs time and money. I don't have to do any of this extra stuff, but I've met new people and been to new places. In giving something I have probably received more back in positively. I don't live stream, but that is new technology. My words may be a bit clumsy, but I hope that you understand what I am trying to convey. It's about giving

lalalalyra · 30/10/2017 23:16

I think "just donate" is a bit simplistic. 5 of our friends shaved their heads 2 years ago when my relative/close friend had terminal cancer. We all donated, we'd all done bake sales and Macmillan bake sales etc. My relative shaved their heads and they raised just over £4000.

Now in the huge grand scheme of charity fundraising 4k might not be a huge, huge amount, but it's far far more than the 5 of them could "just donate".

And sometimes people who do things like shave their head or sit in beans or whatever else also volunteer and the likes.

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