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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being ridiculous?

28 replies

missladybird · 27/10/2017 16:55

Recently a dad has started going to the playgroup that me and my dd have been going to for over a year. We chat but only really small talk about the dcs but I do find him attractive. In the corridor on the way out today I squeezed past him and he put his hand on my shoulder and said see you next week.

I've been single for a while now so may be reading this all wrong but is that classed as flirty behaviour? or am I acting like a desperate single woman?

OP posts:
SomethingNewToday · 27/10/2017 16:59

Unnecessary contact (in a non pervy way!) is one of the most pervy things someone can do. Is he definitely single?

SomethingNewToday · 27/10/2017 17:00

Is one of the most FLIRTY things someone can do! Not Percy Hmm

SomethingNewToday · 27/10/2017 17:00

Dammit. Pervy. You get it.

Original poster
missladybird · 27/10/2017 17:06

I was taken aback when he did it because I really wasn't expecting it. I think a see you next week would have been fine without the shoulder touch! I don't know whether or not he's single. I haven't asked because I don't want him to think I'm interested.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 27/10/2017 17:07

From what you say I'd say he likes you in a romantic way.

QuiteLikely5 · 27/10/2017 17:08

Sounds flirty. Check to see if he wears a wedding ring

winobaglady · 27/10/2017 17:09

Aren't you interested, then?

gamerchick · 27/10/2017 17:10

Are you not interested if he's single?

Kentnurse2015 · 27/10/2017 17:12

Is he single? If not it doesn't really matter surely?!

Pancakeflipper · 27/10/2017 17:12

I'm tuning in for an update at the next toddler group gathering..

Nowt' so exciting ever happened at ours apart from the dad who sat in the bright red playdoh in his immaculate suit on his way to an interview and then sat in his pants with a tea towel wrapped round him whilst our tea brewing crew tried to scrub it off.

Original poster
missladybird · 27/10/2017 17:15

I would be interested but I'm not confident enough to act on it. Maybe he's just a touchy feely guy who does it with everyone, male or female?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/10/2017 17:15

Do a bit of digging/cyber stalking - do you know his name? Not wearing a wedding ring doesn't mean he's not married...

PandorasXbox · 27/10/2017 17:15

Is he married?

ScipioAfricanus · 27/10/2017 17:21

A dad put his arm round me at a children’s party. His partner was in the group too so I don’t think it was flirty. He is touchy feely though I’m not a fan of arms round me randomly from either sex. You need to know if this one is single to decide if it’s flirting or just a touchy feely man who is either trying it on or just happens to be that way.

Original poster
missladybird · 27/10/2017 17:21

I've just looked on facebook and he's friends with my friend's friend's husband. He's married. Can't have been a flirty touch after all!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/10/2017 17:23

Boo. Sorry to hear that but at least you know...

IJoinedJustToPostThis · 27/10/2017 17:26

Can't have been a flirty touch after all

I find your faith in humanity touching.

But of course you may be right, too.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 27/10/2017 17:26

You must find out if he is single. Just casually drop into conversation something like “I love Strictly come dancing on Saturdays” or something else that’s quite girly, and when he says he is not so keen on it....boom your opportunity to say —very casually— how about your wife, does she watch it?

Obviously if you don’t watch Strictly find something else girlie to mention, New look has some lovely sweaters, or Asda have a great rosé wine on offer, you know what I mean.
And please do come back and let us know if anything developes or not.

Garlicansapphire · 27/10/2017 17:32

Sorry to state the obvious - married men can be flirty too. And want to act on it. I'm single but experienced it many a time. I did not appreciate a married man touching my arse at a party where there was only three couples and me....

Original poster
missladybird · 27/10/2017 17:34

I think I can be naive when it comes to these things but at the same time I'm wondering whether I'm just reading too much into it! I mean, he just touched my shoulder - he didn't put his hand through my hair and look directly in my eyes when he said bye.

OP posts:
DiegoMadonna · 27/10/2017 17:43

Is he British? Because I am seriously laughing at the British idea that putting a hand on someone's shoulder as you say "see you" is flirty Grin

But assuming he is, then I can't speak with any authority on the matter. Sorry. Maybe next tome put your hand on his shoulder and leave him in the same predicament. Then the ball will be in his court. Grin

sizenines · 27/10/2017 17:43

Some (not very nice) men seem to think that any single woman who is a parent must be gagging for it and is easy. The fact that he is married may be a mere detail.

Viviennemary · 27/10/2017 17:48

It doesn't really sound like a flirty touch to me. But I don't think that because he happens to be married. Married people do flirt and have affairs. Halloween Shock

Itsonkyme · 27/10/2017 17:55

I think that he was touching your shoulder in a matey type way. Ive actually seen men do this to each other in a blokey way. So in my eyes he's just friendly.

Arealhumanbeing · 27/10/2017 18:05

I would be interested but I'm not confident enough to act on it.

OP that’s awful! I really feel for you. Have you thought about maybe trying to build yourself up a bit?

I know it’s not easy but if the right guy comes along it would be a shame to miss out.

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