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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another birthday party one!!

38 replies

Flatstanley69 · 20/10/2017 17:44

You may all recall the party fiasco I had with my child’s party last year where another child sent her invites out two days after mine for the same time and date as ours. She didn’t invite my child (although we had invited hers).
I changed my party time and day and all was well (besides the parent turning up at our party (pay per child) with two siblings in tow.
This year invites have gone out asking for parents to drop children and return to collect after the party (another pay per child venue). I sent a reminder to all parents regarding the party asking for children to be collected after. I did say that if parents would like to stay there is a small charge for this as the venue is not just child orientated.

Same parent has messaged today to ask how many adults to children there will be (4 to 15 children) and they are not happy about leaving their child nor are they happy about having to pay to stay with their child.
Should I be offering to pay for parents to stay?
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 20/10/2017 17:46

How old are the children?
Are there supervising staff?

scurryfunge · 20/10/2017 17:50

Feign regret at their inability to attend.

2014newme · 20/10/2017 17:52

'sorry you can't attend'
Assuming kids are old enough to be dropped and picked up I. E not under 5

CosmicStrider · 20/10/2017 17:53

Yes, how old are children? I am assuming school age?

ukelelebanana · 20/10/2017 17:53

if they don't like the set up the answer is they don't go.

Original poster
Flatstanley69 · 20/10/2017 17:54

Kids are 7, I have only responded that there are 4 adults to the 15 kids at present. They have not responded yet.....
Should I follow it up? I hate bloody party’s!!

OP posts:
HolyShet · 20/10/2017 17:54

Depends on age of children and what the activity is.

I sort of think it's possibly a bit of a faux pas not to pay for adults in attendance.

That said I am on kid 3 and more than happy to leave him anywhere with anyone at parties unsupervised as he's very chilled, so personally I'd be fine with it.

BenLui · 20/10/2017 17:55

Tbh if she doesn’t like your arrangements she should politely decline.

PandorasXbox · 20/10/2017 17:55

How rude of her. Any normal person not happy with your invitation would just decline it instead of making a fuss.

CoughLaughFart · 20/10/2017 17:56

If someone is offered a choice of A or B and don't like either, they can say 'neither'. They can't invent option C. Reiterate the choices and if she doesn't like it, tough tits.

user1487671808 · 20/10/2017 18:01

I think 4 adults to 15 7 year olds is fine assuming it’s not a dangerous activity and there are no kids needing extra supervision. Just tell her that’s what’s arranged and sorry if it’s not acceptable to them.

Justanothernameonthepage · 20/10/2017 18:03

No. Text back that it's a shame X can't make it but you understand.

2014newme · 20/10/2017 18:05

Yes just say thanks fir letting me know you can't make it

Original poster
Flatstanley69 · 20/10/2017 18:19

Message sent back asking to confirm if child is not attending so that I can let venue know.

OP posts:
HolyShet · 20/10/2017 18:29

same parent? sheesh
(I remember your other thread and you were really magnanimous and accommodating about it)
I bet she'd turn up with the sibling again too....

Original poster
Flatstanley69 · 20/10/2017 18:33

I’m not expecting a reply tbh but even that in itself is rude.

OP posts:
Mittens1969 · 20/10/2017 18:48

There is no need for parents to stay with 7 year old, so charging them is fair enough IMO. And yes, not replying is rude. When do the venue need to know numbers by?

Original poster
Flatstanley69 · 20/10/2017 18:51

Mittens It’s already been paid for.

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 20/10/2017 18:54

What’s the activity?? Eg a theme park etc I would want maybe 1 adult to 2 kids just due to the area to cover/likelihood of kids all running in different directions or swimming as 7 year olds still need to be closely supervised

Trampoline park or soft play then no, 1 adult to 4 kids is fine.

lurkingnotlurking · 20/10/2017 18:55

I'm going to go against the grain. I think the parent asked a fair question and I think there should be an option for the parent's entry to be paid as part of the party.

DistractedByIrrelevance · 20/10/2017 19:02

Why lurking? Genuine question as to me it seems fair. They are welcome to not attend if they don’t like the set up.

HolyShet · 20/10/2017 19:14

Of course "they are welcome not to attend" but obviously OP's dd would like their child to celebrate their birthday with them.

I think I would have been a bit more like "we're told numbers are fine for supervision and of course we could ring you if little dorothy felt she needed you etc" but parent in particular has form for being a p.i.t.a.

however I do think its a bit of a funny set up expecting parents to pay. If it was just a couple of quid I might have just budgeted to cover it myself.

lurkingnotlurking · 20/10/2017 19:15

I think it's honest of her to raise the question and shows that she's interested in saying yes if she can. So to give you an example, a year or so ago my son was invited to a bowling party. I said no because I couldn't see what I would do with my younger child. Then recently someone else invited him to a bowling party and I responded with a question around what I could do with the youngest to make it feasible. I could have just said no again because it didn't sound workable to me, but in asking the question the other parent had the opportunity to help with a solution. So now he's going to the party.

Mittens1969 · 20/10/2017 19:19

Ok, when is the party then? That’s really what I was getting at.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 20/10/2017 19:20

4 adults to 15 is perfectly fine. Definitely do not pay for her entry, cheeky mare. What is the activity?