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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teenage phone envy

33 replies

Neapolitanicecream · 20/10/2017 13:37

Dd said she couldn't text that she was late as did not want her friends to see "crap" phone its Sony smartphone but not a iPhone or Samsung ! 2 yr Contract not due till April should I give in to peer pressure?

OP posts:
RavingRoo · 20/10/2017 13:38

How old is she?

Original poster
Neapolitanicecream · 20/10/2017 13:40

She's 14

OP posts:
Whosthebestbabainalltheworld · 20/10/2017 13:41

Seriously? I’d be taking her Sony off her till she cops on.

nameusername · 20/10/2017 13:44

Don't give in to peer pressure. What sort of values will that teach her. Just because you can afford to doesn't mean she gets given. If the phone is still in good working condition, fit for texting and calling why the need to upgrade. If she's using it for social media, it's even worst where there'll be more peer pressure in terms of attire, outings, etc. She's lucky to even own a smartphone. I'm still using my old school Sony. How old is she? Does she have pocket money? Does she even pay for the line rental?

gillybeanz · 20/10/2017 13:45

It's up to you, but I didn't with our older two nor am I doing with dd.
I don't go for expensive gadgets though, nor designer labels.

If I hadn't got a message about lateness, the phone would be taken away as obviously not needed.

DeleteOrDecay · 20/10/2017 13:48

No don’t give in. She has a phone that’s fit for purpose, why even entertain it?

specialsubject · 20/10/2017 13:50

Teach her not to be a sheep like brand slave. The corporations and youtube bovines love people like her, but hopefully she wants to be better than that.

MidnightAura · 20/10/2017 13:56

Hell no! Don’t give in! You are making a rod for your own back If you do.

RavingRoo · 20/10/2017 13:58

If you can afford it, and she’s otherwise hardworking and decently behaved, then I personally would upgrade her phone. At 14 petty things like this do have more importance, and she will eventually grow out of it, but I wouldn’t want her not calling / texting me if there was an emergency because she’s embarrassed.

DaisysStew · 20/10/2017 14:00

She can upgrade in April, I'm sure she won't die of shame before then. But she carries on tell her if she's so embarrassed by it to just hand it back to you. That'll put a stop to her moaning

Wightintheghoulies · 20/10/2017 14:00

iPhones are overrated - good functionality but crack far too easily and battery is always an issue. Mine overheats as well. I'd not have a Samsung again, any one I've had has needed replacing before the contract is up. The only brand I'd currently have even reason to buy is anything that runs Windows rather than Apple/Android. My partner's phone is a Sony, and I think it's great overall.

To summarise, just because 'everyone' either has an iPhone or Samsung, doesn't mean she's missing out. I'd not be replacing it until April, and if she's still ungrateful perhaps suggest she may want to start paying for her own phone when it comes up for renewal.

Wightintheghoulies · 20/10/2017 14:02

The only brand I'd currently have even reason to buy that should be not to buy. Windows phones are bloody awful.

Original poster
Neapolitanicecream · 20/10/2017 14:07

Thanks their is a lot of peer pressure and I do understand as I couldn't believe it her friends do all appear to have iPhones I think it has more to do with the school she's ended up in! think posh SE commuter belt

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 20/10/2017 14:08

Ds(13) has an iPhone as do every single one of his friends and they all come from mixed areas. Some have brand new, others have parents handdowns or secondhand older models. Ihave 2 * multi sockets so the can all charge when they come round. It’s not uncommon now and I wouldn’t go as far as admonishing her just because she wants what her friends have.

If you can easily afford it I would get her one, if you can’t then can she save xmas and birthday money if it’s important to her? If not an option she needs to learn to live with it.

iseenodust · 20/10/2017 14:08

No do not given in to peer pressure. Teach her about finances & priorities.

poppl · 20/10/2017 14:09

What are you teaching her by buying her a new phone?

To be honest I'd be having a stern word about not giving a fuck what others think. If she's that unwilling to stand up in front of her friends then I'd be a bit worried about what else she's going along with to be honest.

I'm not particularly trying to conflate this with drugs, sex etc or whatever teens get up to these days, but being that worried about what someone thinks of you - that would concern me generally I think.

DeleteOrDecay · 20/10/2017 14:09

I disagree that she will grow out of it, I know adults who just have to have the latest this and that and would feel embarrassed if they didn’t have the latest iPhone or what have you.

It’s far more valuable to your daughter for you to talk to her about why she wants the latest phone, how much a new phone would cost, why it’s not possible to have the latest everything, why she feels embarrassed when she has a perfectly functional phone, and that if her friends treat her badly because of what phone she has then they are shit friends to begin with. It won’t be an overnight cure but it will be far more valuable to her in the long run than buying a new phone would be which imo is the easy option which perpetuates peer pressure.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/10/2017 14:10

Christmas present? That's how ds gets flashy phones or he saves for them.

Lovemusic33 · 20/10/2017 14:12

I gave in and compromised with a 2nd hand older iPhone, dd started with a simple Nokia lumia which she hated, I bought her a iPhone for her 13th birthday for around £80, no way was I buying her anew one.

HolyShet · 20/10/2017 14:12

Christmas present or wait for the contract to end.

She needs to be more resilient than to be bothered what people are saying about her phone.

Allthebestnamesareused · 20/10/2017 14:16

DS saved up birthday money and Christmas money for a couple of years to buy his own iphone 5SE so not even a flash one!

If she can;t text next time she can be grounded! She'll soon learn to use it if you need her to!

Original poster
Neapolitanicecream · 20/10/2017 14:28

I probably will wait till end of contract it's also that I of nicer friends said she feels sorry for Dd ! As I say I think that a reflect of that school!

OP posts:
NewDaddie · 20/10/2017 14:37

Never buy a phone on contract it’s a rip off. Buy it outright and then get a cheap sim only contract.

nameusername · 20/10/2017 14:47

It's actually a reflection of the people she surrounds herself with. She should be encouraged to have self esteem and be proud of herself even if it's only a Sony smartphone. It's okay for the occasional ribbing among friends but if there's a usual pattern she should know how learn how to defend herself.

Just because everyone arounds her have the latest gadgets, fads, fashions, doesn't mean she needs to have one. What happens if she starts driving and you can only afford a cheap second hand Nissan and everyone else is drivng a Jaguar.

Get her started on financial responsibility. It's never not too late. The savings from not upgrading to an iPhone can be put into her university funds. What's her allowance and her current mobile phone payments? Start saving from there. It's always nice and a boost to see the savings pile up each week.

Catinthecorner · 20/10/2017 15:25

Well that’s just dreadful. Obviously she shouldn’t risk being seen with an inferior phone. Best take it off her.

Of course if you can’t contact her you’ll have to restrict her movements a bit more.

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