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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be spoke to like I'm rubbish ...

40 replies

Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:44

Il try and write everything in one go....
Last Monday I bought a sofa £750 in cash.
It was from a small furniture shop in town and they offer 10% discount for OAP if you show your bus pass.
My dad came with me and said the sofa was for him and I saved 10 percent.
They said they would deliver in 48 hours.
Got to last Thursday and nothing.
They only had a mobile number but weeny answering.
Left voicemails and they called back Monday..asking did I want the delivery asap.
I said yes..he said il ring delivery driver and call you back.
Got to Wednesday and nothing ,rang again and today is Friday and nothing.
Obviously I'm panicking.
Sat talking to my dad and he starts shouting and swearing at me,saying I'm being unreasonable and I have to wait and can't see why I'm annoyed ????
Then he says I'm doing nothing to help you again,you've spoiler yourself,shut your mouth and wait for your sofa.
This afternoon we were meant to go to town and I said we can pop in ...starts shouting saying I'm a fucking idiot and il make myself look stupid.
Why does my dad react like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:45

Sorry for grammar mistakes,I'm typing on a tiny phone and I'm angry

OP posts:
DelilahDarcey · 20/10/2017 12:47

Was it you that posted the other week about your dad shouting at you over your choice of carpets?

Your dad sounds like a controlling arsehole

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 20/10/2017 12:47

TBH you both sound a bit flighty.

Go to the shop in person. ask where your sofa is.

As for your Dad, no idea. How would we know the back history of your relationship?

DelilahDarcey · 20/10/2017 12:49

How does OP sound flighty?

DaisysStew · 20/10/2017 12:50

Your dad reacts like that because he's nasty - plain and simple.

You're an adult, you don't have to let him talk to you like this. Tell him to fuck off next time and leave him to it.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 20/10/2017 12:50

Read the Op deliah and work it out for your self.

Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:51

I'm interested too how I sound flighty?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:52

I have posted about my dad before yeah

OP posts:
SilverSpot · 20/10/2017 12:53

You dad was shouting at you about carpets last week wasn't he.

Why do you involve yourself with him?

Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:53

He is the only family I have left,don't want to loose all my family.

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 20/10/2017 12:54

This is the second post recently about men thinking it's weird for women to chase after a delivery. The other one was about a carpet.

I don't know OP. But in the future don't pay for goods you haven't received. That's what invoices are for.

Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 12:54

I just don't understand why he reacts the way he does to things.

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 20/10/2017 12:54

Is this carpet!dad? I thought that was someone else!

DelilahDarcey · 20/10/2017 12:58

Sloe, I did read the OP. Hence why I’m quite baffled as to where you came to the conclusion that OP is flighty!

OP, my dad is the same as yours always shouting at me and hitting me, even into adulthood and I’ve cut contact with him. He’s nothing but a vile bully. I suggest you cut contact with your dad too.

DaisysStew · 20/10/2017 12:58

Because he's nasty - and because you let him.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 20/10/2017 13:01

I just don't understand why he reacts the way he does to things.

You arent going to get a clinical diagnosis here. What you are going to get is 200 women wading in with anecdotal stories of their own poor parental relationships and encouraging you to go NC.

DelilahDarcey · 20/10/2017 13:03

OP, ignore Sloe’s rude posts. No need for such nasty abrupt replies

Birdsgottafly · 20/10/2017 13:07

"I just don't understand why he reacts the way he does to things."

Because he can.

Has he managed to hold down jobs? Men generally behave aggressively to those that they think they can, if they are abusive.

The way to deal with it is to go low contact, as you want to cling onto him on the grounds that he is family.

You will find that you will eventually get the confidence to realise that he treatment towards you isn't right and he either respects you or loses you.

Tinty · 20/10/2017 13:10

You need to organise everything for your house yourself. Don't involve your dad. He is not very good at supporting you.

You don't want to lose the only family you have. Just have him round for dinner, chat about mundane things. Don't ask his opinion on things. You have your own place. Start relying on yourself only.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/10/2017 13:11

Of course you weren't being unreasonable for wanting the sofa delivered in the timescale they quoted, or then later on when they'd missed that deadline. It makes no sense for your dad to shout and swear at you. He shouldn't speak in that way to you. If he does it again tell him it's not ok for him to speak to you like that and leave. Don't contact him until he apologises for it. Do this every time he behaves appallingly and it might start to sink in for him that it's not ok.

Original poster
Lollipopsareniceandsweet · 20/10/2017 13:14

I've said firmly many times
"Don't speak to me in that manner
Doesn't take any notice

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 20/10/2017 13:15

The 10% thing is a bit cheeky

Tinty · 20/10/2017 13:16

Also go into town on your own and go into the furniture shop, ask them nicely where your sofa is and when are they going to deliver it. If they start messing around saying next week etc, tell them you would like it delivered tomorrow (or whenever you will be there) or you would like a refund of your money, tell them you will be back on Monday for a refund if they don't get the sofa to you this weekend. They have no excuse to have not got the sofa to you if it was supposed to be delivered in 48 hours.

Don't go in screaming and shouting (however you feel), because people invariably do the least they possibly can if a customer is rude or angry (even if it justified), if you are polite but insistent they should listen to you and get the sofa to you or your money back.

DaisysStew · 20/10/2017 13:17

Try: The next time you speak to me like shit will be the last time you speak to me.

And mean it.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/10/2017 13:21

Don't ask him not to speak to you like that. Tell him it's not ok to speak to you like that and then leave immediately. Don't contact him or allow him to contact you without an apology first. Then if he does it again, repeat this process. If it continues to happen then warn him that you will have to cut contact completely, and be prepared to follow through with this.

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