Would you go?

[MrsWineasaurus]

Sorry if this turns into an essay, it’s a long story.

Right, so MIL is getting married later on this year, the most bridezilla woman you’ve ever met. I was meant to be bridesmaid. MIL insisted on getting her bridesmaids dresses from China. I’m a big girl size 18. Dress didn’t fit now I’m no longer bridesmaid (fine by me).

She still wants me to stay with her and the other bridesmaid the night before and in the morning whilst they’re getting ready. Hair make up etc. (Which I’m not having). She told DH she got the bridesmaid presents, including me, but doesn’t want to give them as she doesn’t want to feel like she’s rubbing it in my face. Tbh I think the staying at the hotel and watching them all get ready is rubbing it in my face.

Aibu not to stay the night before and make my way down in the morning?

go and be with them. otherwise she will talk about how you didn't attend, at every occasion.

Maybe she invited you so you dont feel excluded rather than to rub your face in it?
She sounds like a bitch for saying you cant be bridesmaid instead of getting the dress altered but maybe its a backwards way of making up for that?
Dont go if you dont want to, jusy explain you dont want to watch everyone get ready when you cant join in.

It sounds like she wants to include you...but you’re acting like you don’t care about it and don’t want to be included.

I wouldn't go - you're either a bridesmaid or you're not and if you're not why be there? ...... and I wouldn't care if she chatted crap about me for evermore. Who bins a bridesmaid because they've ordered the wrong size dress?!!

I wouldn't go, especially if you're not a bridesmaid. I would much prefer to sleep in my own house and get ready/travel to the wedding with DH

DH has been told he’s walking down the aisle and DS is page boy. Both DH and DS are meant to be staying with the groom.

Got told to lose weight to fit in the dress, I guess I just think it’s ironic she doesn’t want to give the presents but wants me to stay and watch them all get ready. Yet doesn’t want to rub it in my face. Just to picture it for you she originally had 5 bridesmaids now only one left.

YANBU

I agree making you stay with tgem abd watch them all get ready etc is more rubbing your face in it than giving token gifts.

I agree with your thinking of not staying with them. You should Have a nice peaceful relaxing evening to yourself if your DH and DS are with the groom. Pretty sure that would be more fun than with bridezilla MIL the night befire her wedding!

DH must know his mother best. What does he think you should do? Is MIL suggesting that if you lose enough weight she’d have you as bridesmaid again? And is the dress sizes the reason she lost all other bridesmaids too? On a balance of things I’d Probably suck it up and let her have her day how she wants it.

Im going to - but bridesmaids, at her age? >rolls eyes

So if she's down to one bridesmaid, is she wanting all ex-bridesmaids to stay or just you?

Did you plan on trying to fit into the dress??

Why aren’t you a bridesmaid now?

*but bridesmaids, at her age? >rolls eyes

She’s in her late 40s. I am the only ex-bridesmaid she wants to stay. The others aren’t even going to the wedding. Not all to do with the dress. One of the others was dropped for being too depressed, others for not making an effort.

The dress didn’t fit when it arrived, I could understand if it fit and then I put weight on!

mumstheword

DH doesn’t want to go, doesn’t have the best relationship with her.* Was told he was walking her down the aisle, not asked. Got suit in a size smaller as it looks better even though DH not comfortable.*

Tbh can’t wait for it all to be over.**

Bold malfunction sorry!

Well, he doesn't have to go and walk down the aisle any more than you have to stay the night before!

Perhaps it's time to stand up to her!

How the hell did she manage to order your bridesmaid dress too small?! I bought my wedding dress from China and had to send off pretty detailed measurements that they requested. So maybe she ordered your dress too small on purpose?

She didn’t send off measurements just went with sizing. My wedding dress was a 16 and fit perfect yet an 18 in the bridesmaid dress didn’t fit. I even bought 1 size up out of my own money and that was too small. Didn’t even fit my mate who’s a 14.

"I am the only ex-bridesmaid she wants to stay."

There's more than one ex bridemaid???

Do tell!!

I wouldn't go-then she can happily hand out the pressies without a second thought.

There were originally 5 bridesmaids diddl. One got thrown out because she was depressed, another because she didn’t make the effort and me for being too fat not sure why the other one isn’t there now.

I would stay home with a box set and take-away and have a lovely time, be a great memory for you!

Why is your son going to a grooms evening, is it a stag night type thing or child friendly?

Groom didn’t want a stag do. They’re just staying in hotel night before as wedding is around 2hrs away from where we all live x

Well, he doesn't have to go and walk down the aisle any more than you have to stay the night before!

It seems mean-spirited not to do so. If he doesn't have a good relationship with his mother, this is hardly going to improve things.

Once again, on a mil thread, I'd like to hear the other side of the story.
I'm not a mother-in-law so I have no axe to grind, but I can often imagine things from the other perspective.

We will being going to the wedding even if neither of us actually want to as not going would destroy any kind of relationship we all actually have.

I love my MIL dearly was pretty much best friends until this whole wedding came about which is very upsetting.

I was only asking if I was BU to not stay the night before.