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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pack up and go home at daylight

35 replies

Agentcoulson · 16/10/2017 05:35

Took DC away for one night. Their behaviour yesterday was embarrassing. It's incredibly child friendly so not expecting too much but behaviour yesterday was embarrassing. Then a huge fuss getting 3 year of to sleep. Now awake from 4.45. getting away with whatever he wants because if I try to say anything he doesn't like he starts to shout.
I've paid for breakfast but feeling too embarrassed to go. I am soooo tired. Both children will be shattered and misbehave all day.
Do I just take us all home first thing or how do I fix this.

OP posts:
Backoff85 · 16/10/2017 05:40

How was their behaviour embarrassing? I'd just go x

BrandNewHouse · 16/10/2017 05:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Agentcoulson · 16/10/2017 06:04

Youth hostel. Close to home.
They were fighting. Touching things asked not to at a tourist attraction. Ignoring staff, running around shouting, generally rude. Screeching when i was checking in. Running up and down cafe repeatedly whenever I had to do anything like pay bill.

Need to go occupy them.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 16/10/2017 06:18

You would be quite reasonable to go straight home and be sure they know why.

Areyoufree · 16/10/2017 06:22

I would probably give them one chance. Explain that if they misbehave again, you will all go straight home. It sounds a nightmare though - I hate it when my kids go feral in public. Am sorry, OP.

Sleephead1 · 16/10/2017 06:27

How old are they ? I would give them another chance today But explain that their behaviour was not good yesterday and if it is repeated today you will be going home. Im assuming they are young and excited and it got the best of them.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2017 06:32

You expected an excited 3 yo not to touch things, not to run around going crazy and be quiet because you want them to be. Did you talk about these expectations beforehand? Did you get down to child height and talk to your children?

How old is your other child? Perhaps you should be doing more child friendly things? At 3, a child naturally wants to take everything in with all 5 senses. And as for the early wakenings, he’s in a strange bed in a strange place. It happens.

When your other child wakes up, get them breakfast, put the tv on and have an hour snooze, that should be doable. Then take them somewhere nice in the morning, have a bit of lunch, see how they are and leave by 2/3pm. They’ll perhaps have a sleep in the car on the way back and hopefully won’t be too alert for bedtime tonight.

wetsnow · 16/10/2017 06:38

Hope you have a better day today x

Original poster
Agentcoulson · 16/10/2017 06:39

We were looking round a lifeboat. It was exciting and lots of interaction. We collected conkers, climbed trees!!! I have low expectations but conscious of ruining others trips when we were indoors. People looked understandably pissed off.

Most of the poor behaviours was 7yo being stroppy.

Their behaviour isn't great generally which I know is my fault.

3 and 7.

We're all dressed and they are playing nicely together.
I miss ex/another adult at times like this.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 16/10/2017 06:48

Well, the 7 yo should know better. That's what I say to mine. I'm not sure how they display things if kids are going to inevitably touch them? Most places I've been they've had them in s glass display or cordoned off with rope.

Maybe get the breakfast and explain at breakfast in a calm and stern voice why you're all going home. I do this with my two. We have little chats about behaviour, and what's going on.

Works a treat with my two.

Slimthistime · 16/10/2017 06:49

As you're close to home and shattered, I'd write it off and just go home. When you've got the energy you can talk to them about it.

diddl · 16/10/2017 06:53

I'd at least have breakfast.

Explain after that you're going home & why.

YogiYoni · 16/10/2017 06:56

What do you do when they misbehave? I was really struggling over the summer and another poster suggested '123 Magic'. Maybe google it then introduce it to the kids over breakfast. I find it really helpful in dealing with behaviour consistently.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2017 06:57

It takes a village and two parents. This isn’t about fault. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Perhaps you should get some of the Steve Biddulph books. There’s “10 things girls need most” and “raising boys” Just be aware it does talk about having dad’s around. But if that isn’t possible, you’ll have to ignore that bit.

I agree the 7 yo should know better.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 16/10/2017 07:00

I'd set 3 really strong rules that they have to follow, each time they start to break the rule then remind them - explain how their behaviour is breaking the rule. Set your 7yo up with responsibilities that 'help' you out. Treating them as the older child will make them.more inclined to want to be responsible. How about a reward incentive - use the cookers, if the 3 yo can get 5 cookers for good behaviour over the day then xyz will happen. It will be exhausting, don't raise your voice and don't get flustered and it ugh the work. It would be a shame to spoil your trip, I'd try to salvage. Start off today by explaining how you're thinking about going home because of their behaviour yesterday and include the 7yo in thinking about how they could do things differently.

Sorry if this sounds patronising, but it would be a shame to end things early. You've got this.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 16/10/2017 07:02

Ah you are a LP . Massive sympathies

Might be time to invest in a decent parenting book and learn some techniques
not that it did anything for me

I think it's hard but yes just calm down , deep breaths and just say I can't deal with this behaviour , it's making me miserable and get home

Parenting is HARD and don't let anyone belittle you for this Flowers

RosieBucket · 16/10/2017 07:05

I'd go straight Home. No breakfast, no messing.
The message might sink in.

fairyofallthings · 16/10/2017 07:18

Have breakfast and then go, the lack of breakfast is going to mean lower blood sugar and more frayed tempers.

maddiemookins16mum · 16/10/2017 07:26

Have breakfast (no point in everyone being hungry also). Then go home (and tell them why too).

wowbutter · 16/10/2017 07:30

I would take them home, and tell them why. And when we got home, they would be doing some reparative activity to apologise.
You say their behaviour isn't great generally, that is something you need to work on.
Routines, boundaries, parenting.

Lovemusic33 · 16/10/2017 07:33

Have breakfast and then go home, explain to them why, the 7 year old is old enough to know better really and will hopefully realise that they are the reason you are going home.

Going away on your own is hard, I take my 2 dd's away on their own, they both have ASD, we go away 2 or 3 times a year, sometimes it works and sometimes it's a nightmare, it has got easier as they have got older, they now realise that I am dealing with this alone and they need to help me out instead of moaning and being naughty. We have had a few trips away where we had to leave early (when they were younger).

NapQueen · 16/10/2017 07:37

Hunger wont help anyone on top of tiredness. Either go for breakfast or get yourselves a drive through breakfast on the road home.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 16/10/2017 07:46

Tell them that their behaviour was unacceptable and that they need to be better behaved.
Tell them that you’re going to have breakfast and that they will be sitting nicely and they are not allowed to argue.
Ask them if they think they can do that. Ask them if they know why they need to behave.
Lay down your expectations and what will happen if they don’t follow the rules.
Have a strategy for helping them. Pen and paper to draw if they get bored, a game of I spy.

fullofhope03 · 16/10/2017 07:47

OMG op - I'm so so sorry for you. Agree with others who've said breakfast first then home. Flowers xxx

SpinnerDryer · 16/10/2017 07:52

Have you got swimming stuff with you?

Wear them out, then a good lunch.

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