Do you have fun?

[fia101]

Sorry to whinge. First world problem I know and I know having kids and working is tough and expected but I can’t remember the last time I had fun.

Get in from work too late for the gym or any hobby, up early for work so when I get in at 7 I bath kids, get them ready for bed, get stuff ready for next day and then quick tidy up to keep on top of things. Fall asleep at 9 ish. Up again at 5.30am for kids and work. Saturday is cleaning house and doing bit of work. Love spending time with kids in weekend.

I have a friend on FB who is always on weekends away, cocktails during the week with friends and meals out and just always seems to have loads of fun. I’m pleased for her but it makes me realise I think the last time I had fun was December 2006.

Don't you think perhaps your friend is only showing the edited 'highlights' of her fun, though? That perhaps underneath the Facebook veneer her life is as monotonous as everyone else's?

We have fun; I spend time with friends and DH and I go away for nights fairly often. But in between times there's a cat that pissed on my bed, a child that puked on the landing, school letters to read and sort, birthdays and Christmas to organise, dinner to cook, a dog to walk, rabbit hutch to clean out, horses to tend to and all the other deathly dull stuff like anyone else has.

Nobody has fun all the time. Except perhaps Cher. I've never seen her look miserable. Nobody's sad in assless chaps.

I agree, a lot of people only puts shiny things on Facebook and sometimes people get the wrong impression from what people do put. I run a very small non-government organization so I'm often in the Philippines or Vietnam or other places and a lot of people would get jealous. I wasn't by the swimming pool though, I was working and usually in very rural areas. I also have a disability, so often face discrimination and other challenges. People don't see that though Even when I mentioned it.

They also take the wrong impression from a lot of things. I was dressing up in my friends wedding clothes and someone accuse me of going to the theater. We were in my friends bedroom. But people will take what they will.

To be honest, my life is very monotonous, and I have fun with small things. I like to go out for coffee, cake, very basic things or just sit at home and drink coffee and eat cake and read. Very boring really

I agree with whooo
Facebook is a pain in the bum for the social boasters. I have friends who are seemingly always shopping for designer bags, eating in fabulous restaurants, attending cocktail parties or sloshing back the mojitos on sunny boat trips every fucking weekend. And I think oh FFS. Life just isn't all that.

We do have fun, but it's not on Facebook. But mostly life is busy doing all the mundane stuff. School run, work, homework, making evening tea/dinner and then collapsing into Netflix or a book before lights out.

Don't let Facebook stress you out.

What would you like to do more of, that you think is fun?

Nobody is sad in assless chaps 😂😂 Best. Line. Ever!

I agree great line!

I would like to work 3/4 days a week and get home at 6. Have time to go to a book club or something. Would love to live near a city and go to a comedy club on a weekend. Friend is lovely she works 3 days a week great salary lots of childcare support but also a really fun person. She also lives a great town with loads going on.

I go to clubbercise at half 8. I look forward to it all week.

Try and fit in spin or some other classes but that's the highlight of my week.

Clubbercise sounds fun! Not trying to make excuses I live near countryside and there are no classes on that late. Can’t even go for a jog as no footpaths and dark roads. Sorry I’ll stop whinging!

Today I ran through the leaves - Dh and kids declined to join me. I had fun, they didn't.

I didn't put it on facebook

No. I definitely don't have fun. Nor gym time or any other sort of me time!

I have tiny bits of fun most days but it's very simple stuff - snacks out with my family on a weekend, chatting with my kids at bedtime, watching something on tv on a weeknight. At the moment am juggling a degree with raising 2 kids and it's hard. I am pretty much resigned that the next 6 mths or so is going to be a major uphill slog of school runs, lectures, placement, assignments...not much room for fun til next Summer...

FB is BS. But yes, you need to think of yourself sometimes and have some fun. Can you afford a cleaner perhaps so you can have more time with the kids or doing something grown up?

My idea of fun is lying on the sofa under my blanket with cat and kindle. Sometimes a glass of wine, cheese and biscuits and a snooze are involved.

This sounds like cracking fun, to be honest. DH and I had a night away in London recently and after dinner at a super-fancy steak place we were in bed eating cheese, crackers and doritos at 9.50pm with a little Baileys stolen from the mini bar. It was the best night we've ever had away.

OP it's not whinging; life can be hard at times. But looking at other people's lives via social media is potentially going to make life even harder for you, so switch it off. Set yourself one day a week when you log onto Facebook. Delete it from your phone so you don't log in on autopilot. Force yourself to phone and text your real life friends more regularly; invite them over, go and visit them, do something 'real life' that takes your focus away from pretend lives of folk on Facebook.

I do stuff like go for a cuppa and a biscuit when I can or I take my dc out for a walk when the weather isn't too bad (though, recently, we've been busy with other things so haven't been able to). I try to have a laugh and a joke with my dh and dc - I count that as fun even if it's only ten minutes out of the day. I watch funny cat videos and that gives me a laugh. I think you have to remember that those small, insignificant things count as fun as much as the big things do.

Only with dd5 Work eat sleep and do stuff with dd. Don't drink and don't want time away from dd so don't have weekends away.

I know how you feel OP, I'm surrounded by people who seem to be going out or going away all the time. I don't because DH works silly hours and because we have two really bad sleeper DC. So don't have the energy. It's not great, I'd like to do more, but luckily I've always been more of a sofa and cuddle person than a cocktails and clubbing person anyway.

Ignore f/b - it's awful
Try to find some fun in your every day....use it or lose it

I find life a real grind Monday to Friday. Morning rush, commute, work, commute, childcare, wrestle child to bed, supper, household chores, collapse repeat. We both work full time and it’s tough. I live for the weekend now I’m a way I never did when I was childfree! It’s the only time I get any headspace and am anything less that physically shattered.

My genuine fun in life is rarely on Facebook as it those times that I’m mucking around with the kids/oh, very unglamorous and not the staged Facebook fun. Maybe that’s what you need to focus on?

I havent had fun for about 18 months. But im well fed, warm and as secure as im likely to be.
I binged on The Inbetweeners last night and laughed alot.

I have finally the time. I don't post about it on Facebook. Intact, unless it is business related,I don't really go on Facebook. I'm too busy having fun 😂. In all seriousness though, my life is as monotonous as the rest. During the weeks it is mostly, work, cook, clean, sleep and repeat. Apart from a choir rehearsal. Weekends we always try to do something, be it family movie night or going out somewhere. We work so had during the week so it is nice to have something to look forward to.

Life is boring most of the time, work, housework, school runs etc but I try and find time for some fun. I work 4 days a week so my week day off when the kids are at school are my time. I do the ironing and cleaning but try and keep a couple of hours free to meet a friend, we go for a nice breakfast sometimes, sometimes we go and play a sport we both enjoy.
About 2-3 times a year a group of us go on a spa break just for a girl's might away and then there's the odd night out with friends once every couple of months. I suppose if you stuck it all on facebook you might get the impression of constant fun but it really isn't. Like pp have said, fb is just a snapshot.

Look for fun in the little things. I love walking the school run, especially in Autumn so we can play with the leaves. I love baking with my kids and building dens with furniture etc. I had a total mental breakdown 2 years ago for lots of reasons but a huge part in my recovery was learning to make choices that would put fun into the mundane and to appreciate the small things (very cliché but true). I joined a running club and a mid week exercise class that children can go to and sometimes I just say "sod it" to the housework and do something I want to do instead. I don't need anything big or fancy I just needed to change my thinking and take responsibility for my own life and choices. I can't control a lot of the circumstances in my life but I really can try to get the most out of them. I'm so much happier now.

I don't think anyone has fun all the time, everyone has chores to do.

We all went to see the seals on a boat trip and for a lovely Sunday lunch today so I've had my fun but I don't go out in the week. I do enjoy my job though and work 25 hours plus 10 hours commuting.

What I have found is its important to get the balance right, if you are feeling like you never have fun you could well be depressed and if important to make changes and look after yourself. Try cutting your hours at work if you are able to and can afford it. If not make the most of the weekends, maybe get a cleaner etc. People who go out all the time aren't necessarily happy either, sometimes they are escaping marriage problems or causing them by meeting other people whilst out for example.