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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you have fun?

40 replies

fia101 · 14/10/2017 13:52

Sorry to whinge. First world problem I know and I know having kids and working is tough and expected but I can’t remember the last time I had fun.

Get in from work too late for the gym or any hobby, up early for work so when I get in at 7 I bath kids, get them ready for bed, get stuff ready for next day and then quick tidy up to keep on top of things. Fall asleep at 9 ish. Up again at 5.30am for kids and work. Saturday is cleaning house and doing bit of work. Love spending time with kids in weekend.

I have a friend on FB who is always on weekends away, cocktails during the week with friends and meals out and just always seems to have loads of fun. I’m pleased for her but it makes me realise I think the last time I had fun was December 2006.

OP posts:

AtSea1979 · 15/10/2017 21:35

You do sleep an awful lot. Try pushing bedtime back to give you more time.

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 15/10/2017 21:36

Nope no fun here. We work shifts so one is home with DC while the others at work. And that is it.
I have a friend like yours op and it's amazing how different her real and FB lives are, I used to get really pissed off comparing until I saw the truth. We did have a night out scheduled for last weekend to celebrate my birthday for the first time in about ten years, didn't happen and I'm still sulking a bit at the disappointment. Fun scheduled for fab 2018 though. *Non child centred fun,

minipie · 15/10/2017 23:00

Yes it does seem like you sleep a lot. 8.5 hours in bed is more than most parents would expect to get. Are your DC up in the night? If not - I wonder why you need so much sleep? health issue?

Lily2007 · 16/10/2017 00:36

8 hours is the recommended amount of sleep so to be in bed 8.5 hours seems normal to me.

Birdsgottafly · 16/10/2017 01:10

Not sleeping enough ages your body internally, although you might not notice.

On the BBC program, how to stay young,they backed up the already known research that we should try to get ourselves into a routine of sleeping as close to eight hours as possible.

If you aren't doing that and your children are over 2.5, then you should be, for health reasons, alone.

BeachyKeen · 16/10/2017 05:25

I do, all the time! I have always been an outgoing and bubbly person, I love having adventures and meeting new people, and going new places.
I have a ton of interests, and way more hobbies than hours in the day.
I'm always busy, tired, broke but having a blast!
I feel grateful to have the opportunities I do. I have a serious illness, and have spent months at a time, stuck in bed.When I have the strength and the energy to do shit, I do!

Never waste a chance to dig in the dirt , climb hills, swim in a lake, or whatever is your thing

lemureyes · 16/10/2017 05:58

I am a very easy to please person. The little things in life make me happy so I easily have fun.

Such as walking the dogs, watching a film with DH (works long hours so only see him in the evenings), spending time with my family.

speakout · 16/10/2017 06:09

Life is too short.
I work only 15 hours a week and my youngest is 17. Plenty time for the gym, walks, meeting friends. I wouldn't work full time.

minipie · 16/10/2017 10:25

Well yes 8.5 hours may be a sensible amount of time in bed from a health perspective but I bet a lot of the people who have lots of fun nights out and trips away choose to live off less than that. That's their compromise. Certainly if I wanted 8.5 hours of sleep I could never ever go out in the evenings.

BackforGood · 16/10/2017 10:34

I'm with Pascall, AlexKete, Beachy, and lemur.
You need to look for "fun" things that make you laugh or make you smile in what your life is at the moment.
Most of us live fairly ordinary lives most of the time, but take photos (and might share on FB) of the 'special' times. Doesn't mean our whole lives are like that.
However, people make decisions about the direction their lives go in all the time - deciding to work in a job that means you don't get in until 7 - or maybe living somewhere rural rather than a town, etc.,etc. Some people choose to be poorer but have more time. Some live in a less attractive area but don't have a commute. etc. You have to balance everything so it is the best for you and your family.

Original poster

fia101 · 18/10/2017 09:06

Thanks all. It’s true it’s about decisions and balance. I blindly and stupidly agreed to move to a rural area years ago knowing my work is city based. Have family here and husband works here so works for 3/4 of family as have help with childcare and husband picks kids up and is home for 5. However I lost out. Too much upheaval to move them to city now and don’t think husband could find a job in city plus we’d lose family help. Work doesn’t allow part-time work or reduced hours. I mad e and choice re career.

Go to bed early as kids up in night. Feel hungover next day if went to bed to bed at 11.

I do like watching tv in pjs but that is literally only what i do.

Anyways I just need to suck it. Made my bed etc xx

OP posts:

minipie · 18/10/2017 10:18

Sympathies on the non sleeping kids. I have them too and don't have many nights out, it's just too painful getting up if I do. Don't compare yourself to people with kids who sleep well and have done for ages - it's an entirely different existence IMO! But one day they will sleep, hopefully.

TheFifthKey · 18/10/2017 10:30

I went through a bad time last year and so have consciously sought to add more fun to my life. I'm a lone parent with two small dc and don't get much respite during term time (as exH only sees them during school holidays) - so nights out/away are a rarity. But I can have friends round for drinks, go out for a weekday pub dinner with kids and invite friends along, days out at the weekend, take the kids for an overnight stay in a hotel and do activities nearby, visit friends and family...I make a real effort to sit down with my diary and book stuff in, so I always have stuff to look forwards to that doesn't require a babysitter. I do get some family help too which is much appreciated but if the rest of my time is packed with good stuff I feel less on the hamster wheel. I don't really get to exercise though which is something I need to start working on a lot more. I hope to get the kids walking further so we can do some more outdoorsy stuff at weekends.

Acadia · 18/10/2017 11:11

Well, does she have kids?

If yes, she has someone look after those kids and she arranges a night of cocktails.

If you wish to do that, you do that.

You have to make the time for fun.

Go out at the weekend (the kids will survive without you.) You don't mention a partner. Are you parenting entirely alone?

Acadia · 18/10/2017 11:13

Oh, OK, your husband's there. So one night he could dinner/bath/bed the kids and you go from work to a night out?

Or find a class you wish to take and really stick to it?

So you miss bedtime once a week. They'll be fine.

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