To be a chatty sociable introvert

[splendidisolation]

I think loads of people would be really surprised to discover how much of a secret introvert I am.
On the surface I appear chatty and dare I say it "congenial", when deep down the amount of hours I'd be happy pottering around alone are boundless.

I often enjoy social events so much once I'm there, but feel like I really camt be fucked in the lead-up.

Anyone relate?

Totally agree.
I said another thread I'm an introvert with an extrovert exterior

Me too. Introvert. People Re surprised about that.

Oh me too. For some reason introvert means shy. I’m not remotely shy, I just prefer to spend my free time on my own or with immediate family.

Not really wanting to go to social events then enjoying them once you are there is quite an extrovert trait - being chatty and congenial is exhausting whether you are introvert or extrovert.
My mum is a classic extrovert and hates the thought of social events but is the life and soul once she's there. And my dad is much more introverted and is always happy to plod along to place if he knows a couple of his mates will be there and he hides away in the corner drinking and chatting to just a couple of people.
Introvert/extrovert is rarely that simple I reckon

me me me. I get this. No-one I know believes it though

I’m exactly the same. I think we might be ambiverts.

Yes I totally hear you.

I'm down with this. Hate the build up to going out, never want to do it, I'm filled with dread every second. Then, once I've got there and loosened up a bit I'm really happy with it.

I also love being on my own at home. It's just about my favourite thing ever.

Me too. I am chatty and sociable by appointment

I’m the same. Hate the build up in my head of going out or presenting but when I’m there I’m good. (And then I curl up in a corner to die)

Me too. Even on those myers-briggs tests I come out as 51/49 On the I/E split

I'm such the opposite, I get really excited to see people and getting ready (for example - a night out) but once I get there I get really anxious and annoyed at things like loud music, having to stand up all night, too many people etc. (things I should have anticipated) and a lot of the time it all gets too much for me and I go home early.

I think I'm a wannabe extrovert haha 😂

I am exactly the same!

Introvertion doesn't mean shy, it just means drained by social situations rather than energised by them as extroverts are. So it's entirely possible to be a sociable introvert who isn't at all shy, which is what I'm like. Most of the time I'm very happy to be alone, I don't seek out friends to go out with, but that's not to say I don't enjoy seeing them. Just that once I've had a sociable time I feel as though I don't want to do it again for a few weeks. I can strike up conversations with strangers easily, and I never feel lonely.

Another one here!

Introversion is more about how you gain/ lose energy than sociability in my view. I can chat & socialise all night but need a day of reading/ pottering to regain my energy stores.

It's not always clear cut is it? I love social events, always really excited at the thought of going, really enjoy it, etc but the whole time I'm there I'll struggle to talk to anyone and usually quietly hang around with the same small group all evening .

Ha

I'm a reserved extrovert!

Ha, yes, I did the Myers Briggs at work and everyone was so confused that I was on the introvert side.

Yes i also dont seek my friends out, they have to badger me to lock down a place or time but i always have a good time 😂

Read this....

Extroverted Introvert here. DH is an Introverted Extrovert. Most people would put us the other way around because in social situations I can happily chat to anyone whereas DH will usually be found on the edges observing all that is going on.

As a PP said the difference comes from what we do afterwards - DH gains his energy from being around other people whereas I am exhausted by it.

It's not just big social situations either, I am exhausted just by being around my family. DH has been off work for the last 5 months due to illness and I am exhausted, withdrawn and absolutely craving solitude. Even just sitting in the same room as him is sometimes too much now because it has gone on for so long and I haven't had any alone time at all for 5 months. I want to curl up in a ball and squeeze myself into the smallest space possible and just be on my own!

Google Extroverted Introvert and you'll find articles that ring so true for you.

But bizarrely i have no sympathy for true "quiet" introverts #mean

I just feel like "true" introverts are selfish. They get energy from social situations where they dont contribute much whereas you end up feeling knackered

Why do you have to label yourselves? I love being sociable, and I love spending time on my own. That doesn't need a label!

Bertrand, it helps us to find each other and discuss common difficulties.

There are people (like me) who simply feel exhausted after certain social interactions despite having wanted to be there (at least initially).

It's nice to be able to talk to other people who say 'I know exactly what you mean', instead of having to explain that you don't want to be rude, you just need to be alone.