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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed at my DH

50 replies

Smarshian · 07/10/2017 07:52

He works shifts. I'm on mat leave. We have set days when we give each other a lie in according to his shift pattern. Today is my set day.
Last night he went out after work. He had planned to go for a couple for someone's leaving do a while ago but had a promotion at work yesterday so decided to stay out for a few more (no problem). He spent more than planned and were trying to be a bit frugal until I go back to work I need December, but I'm not too bothered as he will be getting a pay rise so will be earning a bit more next month.
Anyway this morning our dd woke up at 7 which is a miracle (she's usually up at 6). He just lay in bed until I got up and then got up with me and just moped about. I've just sent him back to bed to sleep off his hangover.
Aibu to be a bit annoyed that he didn't even apologise or suggest that we swap a different day for this lie in? I'm extra exhausted at the moment as I'm 6 weeks pg and running round after dd all day (9months)

OP posts:
RandomMess · 07/10/2017 07:56

Tell him he owes you an extra!

FittonTower · 07/10/2017 07:57

I think you tell him that you've swapped days for a lie in, and in future plan that in advance. My husband and I have one morning each to sleep in but if I'm out the night before his lie in (or vice versa) we swap over.

Pooshweens · 07/10/2017 07:58

If he apologises later then it's fine. Good that he got a promotion so perhaps try to cut him some slack and make sure you get your lie in tomorrow!

PlaymobilPirate · 07/10/2017 07:59

What fitton said. We have set saturday / sunday lie ins but swap / barter for nights out

Kentnurse2015 · 07/10/2017 08:00

If it's a one off I would be annoyed but I wouldn't let it spoil my day. If he does it a lot then I would be more angry. It's only 8am so maybe he will suggest a swap or apologise after he has had more sleep.

PerfectlyPooPoo · 07/10/2017 08:00

I get up with dc every weekend and dh lies in but I have a nap when dd2 does.

This works for us as once dh is up he can never nap and he was just running himself ragged.

I on the other hand love a good late morning nap Smile

I'd be annoyed if I were you OP, but could you have a lay down later today?

TaggieRR · 07/10/2017 08:01

You need to swap your lie in day!

pilates · 07/10/2017 08:02

Yes just say you will swap your Friday night for Saturday as you had to get up.

Original poster
Smarshian · 07/10/2017 08:13

The thing is my next opportunity for a lie in is Tuesday as he works nights tonight and tomorrow (so obviously needs to sleep when he gets in tomorrow and Monday morning) 😴

OP posts:
araiwa · 07/10/2017 08:16

The guy got a promotion, i think letting him enjoy his success one night is not a huge ask

Bubblysqueak · 07/10/2017 08:19

We either have a Saturday or Sunday lie in that we can swap/barter/trade but who ever doesn't get a lie in gets an hour or so to rest dc free in the afternoon or while tea is being cooked.

MinervaSaidThat · 07/10/2017 08:22

Make sure you get the extra lie in. Else he may think he can stay out late drinking to avoid getting up in the morning.

And get the hoover going in the bedroom. Don't enable him.

Thebluedog · 07/10/2017 08:22

Everyone needs a blow out now and again and it's good for him to go out with mates. BUT I'd be swapping lie ins with him as a result. If he wants to go out he needs to understand he can't then forgo your lie in

ShuttyTown · 07/10/2017 08:29

Goodness 6 weeks pregnant with a 9 month old! I take my hat off to you Wink

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 07/10/2017 08:32

The only day of the week there is a chance of a lie in in our house is a Saturday so we get a lie in each once a fortnight!! Just swap lie in days, we do this if someone is out. Tuesday is only a few days away, it's not like you have to wait a month. I'd cut him some slack if he doesn't do it often.

Runningpear · 07/10/2017 08:34

Yes swap days with him, he's just had a promotion, cut him a bit of slack for a night out to celebrate.

Cat2014 · 07/10/2017 08:38

Yes just swap.. in future if either of you are out the night before I'd always swap

BabsGanoush · 07/10/2017 08:43

I wish the man (usually) would just acknowledge the situation, and say straight away " darling, I'm hungover I don't think I can do this morning - I'll owe you an extra day".

Its not so much the situation, just he won't confront whats happening and sort it so you know - and don't have to stew about all day.

Ca you go for a lie down this afternoon...and get up when he's made dinner.

Usernamechecksout · 07/10/2017 08:48

Ahh if he did it all the time I'd be miffed, but it's a one off I presume? Just swap, I wouldn't be annoyed with him.

Kentnurse2015 · 07/10/2017 08:54

Just swap to the Tuesday. Maybe get a rest when your daughter has a nap. At least you are still on maternity leave so don't have the extra pressure of getting up for work!

Witsender · 07/10/2017 09:00

No, just the pressure of getting up at 6 with a 9 month old 😂

Swap.

Looneytune253 · 07/10/2017 09:00

Why do people get such rigid ideas about lie ins? I understand if little one gets up at a ridiculous time in the morning but 7.30/8am is a relatively normal time to get up for the day? Do u not need to get on with the day? Me and dh share the load but we’ve no need to barter for lie ins etc. Sounds like it’s just something to get petty about. Maybe it’s an age thing (I’m 35) but I have no need to sleep much past when everyone gets up. Can’t bank sleep so as long as you’ve had 8 hours ish the rest is a waste.

Mumof217 · 07/10/2017 09:02

Ive not had a lie in for 3 years lol just get on with it it comes with having children im afraid lay in once they get older!!!!!

Original poster
Smarshian · 07/10/2017 09:03

Yeah obviously getting up at 6 with a 9 month old is much easier than going to work 😂. I have plans the rest of the day so no chance of a nap (wouldn't want to miss out seeing my friends because of it).
Yes shuttytown pg with a 9 month old - planned but terrifying!

OP posts:
loveisevol · 07/10/2017 09:08

I’m another one who has never had a lie in. I’d give my left ear for a few extra hours in bed every week.
Anyway your dp owes you a lie in.