To think if every mumsnetter gave me a £1

[Nicegirl123]

Looking through house listings on rightmove (yes, that is my hobby ) and I find a modest but beautiful house!

A dream house!

It suddenly occurred to me that if everyone on Mumsnet gave me a £1, my dream would come true!!

lighthearted

I dreamed that I gave you £1

I would happily give a £1 for a dream house but I want to see it first

All you need to do is say you're a few days from pay day with no food in the house and you'll get offers..,

I'm up for it. This is Mumsnet though so there would have to be conditions.

You would have to entertain everyone's terrible in laws each Christmas.

You would need to start some sort of neighbour dispute over parking spaces/ bins/ by building a door into their garden.

Finally, I would want to help you choose. The house should have several offensive features- clowns/ shag pile carpeting/ 'eat' and 'bathe' signs in the appropriate places.

Every time a new poster signs up, they should have to give money to a certain number of people who joined immediately before them. But then they recruit new posters of their own and make their money back plus a profit, then their recruits bring in even more new posters and so on.

What would £1 buy me in your lovely house?

A piece of the garden?

PurpleDaisies Hope this is okay. I am starving. My 11 children and 23 pets have no food. I get paid in two days. I need £250,000 to feed us!

Cookie I am more than happy to put up with offensive decoration to have a dream house. I have already decided I am going to build a moat in my garden and half of my neighbors

TheSnowFairy I was thinking a frog in my moat?

Racingraccoons Thank you!

Pm me your bank details and I'll send you some cash

Make sure you get really loud frogs for your moat because we need another noise complaint thread

Could you add in a line about how you can’t afford Christmas presents? That always rugs on the heartstrings.

^^tugs not rugs

I'll chip in a quid towards your bog brush.

I'd give u £1 but I wanna be invited to the housewarming party

No spare cash but I happen to have control of hundreds of millions of dollars which belonged to a Nigerian chief who died in an accident and I need an account in the UK through which it can pass for a commission of 20% payable in shares in the New Atlantic Tunnel Company. . .

Make sure there is no parking spaces so we can have a good car parking thread.

Witches OP could start a parking thread and request ransom the diagrams for £1 a go! I like your thinking. Now to find a CFN!

Can’t possibly invest or even offer an informed opinion without a diagram.

I'm delighted to send you my one pound. Will I get to pick what type of giant flower wallpaper goes on the feature wall?

Another bloody begging thread!
For my £1 I demand that you set up a web cam in your kitchen. We can see what you rustle up for your 11 DC. Is it organic hummus or fish finger sandwiches?

I will give one pound, but it can only be spent on a toilet brush, because I'm a shit stirrer(do you get it?! DO YOU?!?!)

I'll chip in as long as you add "sponsored by ShotsFired" to any wall stickers about Living, Laughing, Loving; or learning to dance in the rain.

I will also pay double if you add a feature effect brick wall(paper) and fablon your kitchen worktops.

I don't have £1 but I could send some pombears?

ShotsFired - whoah there, my eager friend. Are you challenging my rights to the feature wall? This is totally out of order. I claimed it first; I pledged my pound. Off with you, scoundrel.

OP please confirm you accept my (pre-emptive) offer. I don't think it right that you beg from us all then simply sit there, tallying up the suckers donors

OP well done only "lighthearted" thread I've seen that's funny !