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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not answer the call when I've just finished work?!

49 replies

Glitterbug83 · 04/10/2017 19:51

So, literally just finished work at 7pm. Drove home. Stepped through the door and DM has my nephews on loudspeaker and says 'do you want to speak to your aunt?'. Much as I love them, I've had a seriously crap day at work and have literally just stepped through the bloody door. Why not ask me first if I want to talk on the phone or not? So awkward. Why do parents do this and hand you a call when you don't actually want to talk???

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/10/2017 19:53

Would it kill you to have a two minute chat and they say you're busting for the toilet?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 04/10/2017 19:53

Well, they weren't to know, were they?

tippz · 04/10/2017 19:57

Why not tell her! Say 'next time anyone is on the phone, when I am on my way in from school, I don't wanna speak to them.'

kaytee87 · 04/10/2017 19:59

All you had to do was say something like 'love you guys but I'm bursting for a pee, speak soon'

MinervaSaidThat · 04/10/2017 19:59

Well, they weren't to know, were they?

It's not the nephews OP is annoyed with Hmm

YANBU, OP. Could you pretend you're on a call on your mobile and go upstairs?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 04/10/2017 20:01

'They' as in her mum ASWELL.

People aren't physic, just say a quick hello and dash off.

Percephone · 04/10/2017 20:02

My mother does this. Yanbu.

MagicFajita · 04/10/2017 20:02

YANBU. Having a phone shoved in my face , and being made to feel obligated to speak with someone when I've just got home really pisses me off.

Give me five minutes to hang up my coat , put some slobby clothing on and make a coffee before those kind of demands are made!

Hassled · 04/10/2017 20:03

You just need to explain it to them. I had similar with DH one the days he works from home - I'd get in from work dead on my feet, barely able to articulate a sentence, and I'd just want to sit for 10 minutes or so. He wanted to chat about his day and my day and plans for the weekend - and it made me murderous. When I explained, he was fine, he backed off and now we talk when I'm ready. So just explain and ask if they can time the calls a bit later.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 04/10/2017 20:04

But it's loudspeaker- just yell a hello as you walk through the room, no harm done.

topcat2014 · 04/10/2017 20:07

I often come home to find my friends are already round - that can be a bit of shock..

sizeofalentil · 04/10/2017 20:15

My dad used to do this to me all the time when I moved back home for a bit. It's really annoying. YANBU.

MrsPestilence · 04/10/2017 20:19

Your DM?

If you don't want to take part in family life 'Hi, how are you?, must dash, need a wee', sort of conversations, move out.

Original poster
Glitterbug83 · 04/10/2017 20:25

Well, I was so furious I just glared at DM. She said 'oh, well... Your aunty has Ermmm..... Ermmm... Gone to get changed! So she can't talk now.' So, not only have I had a crap day but now I look like an antisocial weird tit. Great. I truly do love my nephews to bits, but I would much prefer to talk to them later Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Glitterbug83 · 04/10/2017 20:29

I should add that I'm 7 weeks pregnant so the sensible thing to do would have been to use the wee excuse but I just couldn't even think of that. Confused

OP posts:
AudTheDeepMinded · 04/10/2017 20:30

Have you got kids yet? If not, enjoy the luxury of being able to choose some time and space for yourself. When I step through the door I'm besieged with no option to avoid!

AudTheDeepMinded · 04/10/2017 20:31

Ahh, that explains a lot. Totally reasonable of you!

MadMags · 04/10/2017 20:32

Why was your mum in your house before you got home?? Confused

gandalf456 · 04/10/2017 20:35

I hate that, too. In fact, I hate the phone full stop. I'd actually rather speak to someone face to face than on the phone - at least then, it is pre-arranged. It always rings at these sorts of times.

NerrSnerr · 04/10/2017 20:38

Why was your mum in your house before you got home?? 

This is what I wondered. If it's her house I'd say you need to suck it up. If she's in your house I'd tell her you'd rather have time after you get home.

Original poster
Glitterbug83 · 04/10/2017 20:38

Aid, Yes, I have a one year old. We're staying at my mum's place whilst we're undergoing renovations at ours hence my mum being home when I got in from work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Glitterbug83 · 04/10/2017 20:40

Is it not common etiquette to ask someone if they want to talk on the phone first rather than presuming it the minute they get home? Like, seriously?

OP posts:
AudTheDeepMinded · 04/10/2017 20:42

I think perhaps an adult talking to some children might get caught up in there excitement and not think beyond that. Thoughtless yes but a serious crime? no. Have a chat and it won't happen again.

MrsPestilence · 04/10/2017 20:46

It is common etiquette to greet your family and then make excuses as necessary.

Foxglovesandsweetpeas · 04/10/2017 21:02

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - I would hate being put on the spot like that if I was pregnant and exhausted and was just walking through the door.