Db and sil forgot my birthday

[Spottyparrot99]

Or maybe just couldn't be bothered.
For their birthdays I send cards and gifts. For my birthday (Monday) they didn't even text.
I know not all families do birthdays - especially for adults-but we do in our family ( I.e. The family me and my brother grew up in and the subsequent families we have both created) and aibu to be a bit hurt? I don't much care about a gift but a phone call or text would have been lovely! Feel a bit lonesome tbh

They'll probably be slapping their own foreheads by Friday.

Sometimes people forget these things.

Did you have a nice day anyway?

That's horrible of them I understand why you're upset, did you mention this to them? It's not about money or gifts or even cards, but the fact they didn't even acknowledge your birthday is disgusting! Happy belated birthday 🎉 and a virtual hug from me x

Maybe SIL is fed up of doing all the leg work and has decided DB is now in charge if his family

Ring him

'Thanks for missing my birthday I'll return the favour'

They forgot, it happens.

If you were seven I'd say you were not being unreasonable. As a grown up you need to get some perspective, birthdays are just another day, nothing changes because you're a day older than you were yesterday.

Yes, did have a nice day over all. Dh had day off and I had a lovely day out. My parents and aunt uncle remembered ( baring brother and sil and their little one that's all there is on my side) and so did my dh's aunts and cousins and so on! The fact that so many of his family remembered and bothered to mark it made me feel loved and happy- but did also highlight that my one sibling didn't bother :(

Do you talk regularly/ get on?
Give him a call and ask him if he forgot?
(Birthdays are for everyone imo).

Not a big deal. My brother tends to forget, so I remind him!

Bloody hell OP

When you said it made you feel lonesome, I thought you were going to say you were single with not much other family.

Your DH, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins remembered and you're feeling lonesome because your brother forgot?

That's a bit rubbish, but it's solely on your brother. Not your SiL's responsibility to remember your birthday! If it's something your family usually does, do you not think something may have distracted them this year?

I know. I guess I Abu- I just feel sad he doesn't seem that bothered about me. I try hard with him and his wife- but I don't seem to get much or a response. I see them maybe 3 times a month or so.

Oh, your last post makes me think you're overreacting a bit...

Edmund- what post? The one where I admitted I was being unreasonable? Errrrr- that's kind of why I asked!

Firstly your DB forgot. It's up to him, not your SIL.

Also, birthdays may be more important to you than they are to him. DH's family all did adult birthdays. Right up to the year they didn't.

SIL had a big strop at us for forgetting so we all started again. Next year she forgot

After a certain point in time a lot of adults do stop being so interested in them. It's hard for the last person still interested.

I'm assuming they have jobs and children? These things happen, you're being over sensitive.

Ok
I'm being unreasonable then
Good to know!

Same thing happened to me! My DB & DSIL have the same birthday & it's 4 days after mine. For theirs I got family to club together to give them dinner & night away & I baby sat for them. All arranged well in advance. They didn't even give me a card or acknowledge it had been my birthday earlier that week! No way they could forget just clearly didn't care.

Don't think You're being unreasonable to be a little gutted at lack of thought OP 💐

Oh well.

Not to worry.
These things happen.

You'll be pleased to here it's totally normal and nothing to worry about.

Spotty, it does suck but try and remember the good bit and not DB and SIL's forgetfulness or read any more into it. Text him and say OI!!! wot? and then forget all about it.

I have four brothers. Lovely men but they aren't always on the ball with dates.

And happy birthday to you!

Edmund- what post? The one where I admitted I was being unreasonable? Errrrr- that's kind of why I asked!

The one where you mentioned several people who did remember, yet your reaction is to bemoan one family member who forgot, blame another who's not related to you and said it felt lonesome as if to suggest no one remembered. Though I appreciate you further accepted you're being unreasonable.

Stuff happens. And yes, your DB forgot - your SIL is not default birthday rememberer for both sides of the family.

I have to admit that I have a bit of a blind spot in some ways. More than one year that I've remembered to buy a Fathers' Day card form the boys to DH bot not remembered until late on the Friday or even the Saturday the day before that I needed to get one for my own dad, too - and it's one that needs posting!

ps. You are lucky they just forgot my not so DS t produced a very large box of chocs which she made an enormous deal about. Huge and generous favour to me etc.. When opened they were covered in white furry mould. It actually had threads on it and made me gag. Was she embarrassed? not a bit of it!!! I was so upset as I used to spend ages carefully choosing and wrapping presents for her and making a big fuss of her on the day, that two days later I called and asked "what??? " and was told that a client had given them to her and they'd been on the back of her car for the last six months. I still gave her presents for xmas and birthday out of duty but never put an "effort"into it again. At least you've been spared that and they've probably just forgotten as we all do sometimes.

I'd be seriously worried if my brother remembered by birthday .... it would indicate that something had changed drastically in his life! I don't think he's ever known when it is - and we are reasonably close and yes, I always send him and his children cards.