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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about your baby's bedtime routine?

29 replies

MissBax · 25/09/2017 18:40

Please tell me about your baby's bedtime routine if they have one...
DD 4 weeks old - been told its never too soon to try and get her into a routine as it'll help her sleep through the night eventually.
She hates sleeping anywhere other than on, or directly next to, me and so I worry I'll struggle to get her down without me.

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 25/09/2017 18:44

Up until 12 weeks it was just feed in a dim room with as little excitement as possible, get a couple of decent burps up, then into a swaddle whilst singing a nice soothing song and into bed.
Then after that we added a bath every few nights and a massage every night with a split feed either side of the bath or massage.
At six months we introduced a story and basically my daughter is 3 and her bedtime routine is still exactly the same:
Bath
Massage
Milk + story
Teeth
Bed

divadee · 25/09/2017 18:44

Don't even worry about it yet. At 4 weeks old they just want to be held and cuddled. We started a real routine at about 3-4 months with a bath and then a bottle and then put down to sleep. Now she's 8 months we give her dinner, then a quieter play, then her bath and a final bottle and then put to bed.

Bumblebee35 · 25/09/2017 18:45

Bath, boob, bed which then progresses to bath, story bed. People will say don't boob to sleep, at some point I won't (by boob I mean breast feed!) Nothing fancy, just realistic for a busy family

Ionarocks · 25/09/2017 18:46

I'm always in awe of people who manage to get their tiny babies into bedtime routines. My ds spent every evening cluster feeding, falling asleep on me and then waking whenever I tried to take him up to bed. However I got him into a routine by 6 months and now he has a very rigid one which he responds well to.

I am expecting no 2 soon though so will definitely try to get the baby into a routine similar to my ds sooner if at all possible. Good luck!

glow1984 · 25/09/2017 18:48

We didn’t bother trying to establish a routine until DS was in nursery. Having somewhere to get up and go to everyday really helped.

I don’t think a routine helps that much with sleeping that young to be honest. DS was sleeping 8 hours in one go at 3 months, but I didn’t have a routine, I just went with whatever he needed at the time.

lightcola · 25/09/2017 18:50

Don't stress about bed time routines at 4 weeks. My first fell into one naturally at 8 weeks and my second around 10 weeks. Just keep evenings quiet and calm and that will help with Baby understanding it's bed time. A few prompts will help too such as my second would go into a sleeping bag around 7ish so soon learnt that was the end of the day.

CrohnicallyPregnant · 25/09/2017 19:00

I had a routine- I went upstairs, changed her into a clean nappy and PJs, turned the lights out and swaddled her before her 'last feed'. By last feed I mean the one as I went up to bed around 9pm, before that time she would cluster feed and doze on me.

I also started her off in her cot at the side of my bed at the beginning of the night and brought her into bed when she woke for her next feed, when that was established I returned her to her cot after first feed and into our bed after second, and so on.

At some point (3 months ish) she started to really scream in the evenings instead of feeding and dozing, so I started putting her to bed 6:30-7:00 ish along with the elder one, and coming downstairs.

Babyblues14 · 25/09/2017 19:04

Can't imagine ever having a routine, baby is 8 days now and cluster feeds then stays up for hours just messing about. Then sleeps all day and gets up all night again. I hope this part ends soon

Bambamber · 25/09/2017 19:04

I'm a believer that baby's will form their own routine when they are ready. You're still in the 4th trimester so baby will still want you all the time

Original poster
MissBax · 25/09/2017 19:37

Ah ok, this settles my mind a bit as I didn't know whether we needed to do this yet. I think I'll wait a little - my only concern was that it'd be harder as she gets bigger.
Bumble - why shouldn't we breastfeed to sleep?? I do that all the time! What if she falls asleep whilst at the nip?

OP posts:
BellyBean · 25/09/2017 20:00

Dd2 is 6 weeks and it's only in the last couple that she's finding the living room too bright and busy from around 8 pm, so I've started taking her up for a feed around then and going to bed with the iPad as I'm knackered too

LapinR0se · 25/09/2017 20:06

Try not to let her fall asleep feeding, it really is the hardest habit to break. When she starts dozing, break the latch and wind her and if she wants more put her back on awake.
Again I would really only go hard on this after 12 weeks as it's very difficult to keep them awake when they are so tiny.

midnightmisssuki · 25/09/2017 20:08

4 weeks? YABU. you should really only start at 12 weeks.

Bippitybopityboo · 25/09/2017 20:09

We let DS lead us for the 1st 5 months and he started to sleep through so we though we would start a routine. He has a bath almost every night which isn't necessary at all but we find he settles alot better when he has a bath and unless he's unwell, now at 14 months he goes in his own bed and sleeps 7 till 7 like a dream. So much so we thought it a great idea to add another newborn to the mix in may, what could go wrong Hmm

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 25/09/2017 20:21

Please don't fall for this 'don't feed to sleep' nonsense. babies ate SUPPOSED to feed to sleep! It's their main source of comfort and full of nice sleepy hormones, that's what it is designed for! I suspect these are the same peopke who say things like 'she's just useing you as a dummy' Hmm

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 25/09/2017 20:22

Apologies for the awful typing. My phone screen is dying a slow and painful death!

blueberrypi27 · 25/09/2017 20:28

Who says not to feed a baby to sleep? Hmm worry about bad habits when you can talk to them about it, you can't spoil them now. They're tiny and need cuddles, milk and love. Am not a fan of any bedtime routine before six months, particularly because they often leave baby asleep in a room on their own which isn't safe.

Lionroar · 25/09/2017 20:34

Tbh I didn't have a routine with ds until 7 months, as before he came to bed with me and snuggled to sleep. From 7 months onwards he has a bath, pjs and allowed to watch one program ben and holly at mo. Then upstairs and we read a book in bed whilst he drinks his water. Then lights out and kiss cuddle and i stay one minute for him to settle and go. He sleeps 6.15 to 6.30 every night unless ill

Lenl · 25/09/2017 20:37

I don't agree that letting them fall asleep breastfeeding is a problem. It's almost impossible to prevent anyway, both my babies fell asleep still feeding. What are you meant to do? Either wake them up OR make them stop before their finished. Both silly ideas.

All babies are different anyway. Mine both fed to sleep but one is a fab sleeper already at 3 months. The other still wakes sometimes and didn't sleep through til 18 months and even then only sometimes.

What I have found is with my second we have a but of a routine as I come up with the toddler at the same kind of time each night. So baby has a new nappy and usually a sleepsuit although he has a million outfit changes everyday as he is vomity then a feed laying in my bed. He seemed to clock very quickly that this meant sleep, and from a few days old has fallen asleep at 8pm/9pm, fed at 1am and 4am and then got up for the day at about 6am. This could be because he had more of a semblance of a routine than my first who tended to fall asleep on me downstairs as a newborn... or could just be because he's a different baby!! Either way I wouldn't worry yet. 4 weeks is so young whatever routine you got in place would like change within days!

ElfEars · 25/09/2017 20:55

Until 7 months I didn't have a routine, DS would be downstairs with me until I went to bed at 10ish. It's now just up to bed at 7.30ish, pjs and sleeping bag on and feed to sleep in the bedroom with night light and Ewan on. I still feed 8mo DS to sleep and plan to continue doing so until I stop breastfeeding.

Heatherbell1978 · 25/09/2017 21:05

I started a bedtime routine with both of mine at 7 weeks not least to get our evenings back! DD was very colicky and it helped settle her down in the evenings rather than us take turns passing a screaming baby around. She's now 6 months.
We start around 6.15 but kind of depends on when last nap was. Then into bedroom (dim light) where she's changed and then we do bottle (boob when younger) and to bed. It takes around 15 mins to settle her right now but when she was smaller we'd just take it in turns as she'd sleep in 45 mins until 9pm when she'd settle. We have a video monitor downstairs.

paia · 25/09/2017 21:25

DC is 6 months. I don't have a strict routine as I don't feel the need, but I do use the same sleep cues for him each night. We have a bath together, then into pjs, I put classical music on quietly, then breastfeed him to sleep. It's always lovely and calm and he falls asleep quickly.

For people who think you shouldn't breastfeed to sleep, well whyever not. Surely it's about the most natural comforting thing there is for a baby. Of course he wants to fall asleep like that, and I don't mind, so there's no problem.

Littlecaf · 26/09/2017 00:02

We did bath, boob, bed from 6 weeks.
Then at 8 months bath, books, boob, bed.
Then at 12 months, bath, boob, books, bed. He sleeps from 7.30 til 6.30. At 2.5yrs still doing this.

Now we have another DS. When he gets to 6 weeks we shall do the same.

LouHotel · 26/09/2017 00:09

Best advice i ever got is its a routine not a schedule. What i mean by this is some parents can get fixated on a set time for bed when really you need to adapt this based on their naps/mood ect..

Nothing wrong with starting a little routine at 4 weeks as long as you dont have any expectations for results until their a few months old.

I do bath/shower, story, goodnight to all the teddies, nurse to sleep.

ChickenMe · 26/09/2017 00:13

BF to sleep is normal. These early days are hard but things change so quickly and honestly your baby is so young I wouldn't worry about a routine. Just rest when you can.
I'm biased as my daughter was a crap sleeper until about 18m. There's nothing I could've done. I never thought it would improve but it did.
One day magic boob won't work any more so enjoy it while it does!

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