To go on holiday on my own

[OldPony]

I was supposed to be going on holiday this Friday with my DP but sadly we have split up.

I've checked and I can't be refunded the flights or the apartment. I've offered it to him but he doesn't want to go. I sort of want to go to get a week of sun before the shitty winter, but I'm a people person and really quite crap on my own. I want to be strong and go for it, but also thing wtf would I take myself to a country where I know no one when I'm heartbroken and miserable.

Can you change the name on the plane ticket and get a friend to go with you?

I would definitely go.

Some quiet reflection time, a wine or two over a good book- far better than being at home with all the memories associated! Go, relax and give yourself a break.

I love going away on my own. Peace when you want it, but there's always someone to chat to if you want to...you meet loads more people when you go alone.

If not, can't you change the name on the thread & take a friend?

I went on holiday alone (intended).

I met a wonderful friend for life.

Something quite dramatically life changing happened for me too.

It was the best holiday ever, and it allowed for precious reflection.

May I make a suggestion? Find a workshop or course thats happening at your destination and sign up for it, whether it's diving or painting or whatever. You'll meet people and learn something. 😊

Good idea. If I can keep busy I might be ok. Excellent plan thanks.

I have a busy family life, loads of friends and a demanding job.
I love going away with my family and friends but sometimes it's great to go alone.
You have just gone through a breakup so give yourself a chance to rest, enjoy being by yourself, going out of your comfort zone and doing something new. It's nice to be able to set your own itinerary and not compromise. Sometimes it's nice to do nothing and just have a glass of wine or coffee and people watch.
Go and enjoy yourself.

Go.

Take books.
Book onto organised tours to go see some sights.
Sit up at the bar in the hotel and chat to the bar staff and other guests.
Phone or message friends/family

I find focusing on taking good photos gives me something to 'do' when I holiday on my own.

I think things will look a bit brighter if you're sipping a cocktail by the side of a pool with the sun beaming down on you.

Make sure you have plenty to read and look for things that your ex wouldn't have enjoyed doing.
So if ex didn't like visiting historical places get yourself booked on the local castle tour.
Plan treats for yourself and make a list of 5 small goals you'd like to achieve in the next 12 months.
Sit and drink wine all mysterious like with your notebook of lovely plans in the sun.
Look after yourself, you'll be pleased you've gone away when you look back, even if you do feel shit and have tears.

Go. Google things to do, a weeks cookery course, a painting course, whatever will give you company. Or just see the sights. Or catch up on your reading.

Thanks guys, you've really helped me and I'm going to go.

I've done some research and there's lots I can do. Organised walks, wine tasting, boat trips.

I just hope I don't miss him too much.

I'm sorry you're hurting so much. The timing of the holiday might not be the best if you're sad & like having your friends & family around you, but try to make the most of it. There's no way I'd miss out on some sunshine right now!

I never travel without a camera & a notebook & pen. I sometimes feel self conscious eating alone at night, but if I've got my notebook & pen I'm fine. I can lose myself writing or just pretend to be busy while people watching.

Your destination sounds fab. TRY to see the holiday as the start of the new chapter in your life, rather than the sad end of this chapter. TRY to focus on the positive & the future. It's not easy I know

il go! just need to chuck my cozzie in a bag and I'm ready 😁 where are we going?

I've done some research and there's lots I can do. Organised walks, wine tasting, boat trips.

Oooh those all sound fab!

I just hope I don't miss him too much

Ach you probably will miss him :-( But nicer to feel sad in the sunshine with fun little trips to take your mind off it than to feel sad sitting in the rain at home!

Ah bless you lot, you're all lovely.

Please keep us updated on your holiday antics! Like I say tours and walks etc are good, but try and find a week-long course so you get some focus and make some connections xx

Good plan to arrange activities that you do enjoy.

Also, be honest about the things that might bother you. E.g. A lot of people feel uncomfortable eating in restaurants alone (I used to but don't anymore!), so have a specific plan for this, i.e. Take a book when your eat out, or look up local takeaways and take dinner to the beach with you, or arrange evening activities that include dinner. Might help avoid the 'gulp' moment when you get to what might feel like the hardest part.

Fwiw I'm off on a solo walk in a couple of weeks and can't wait. 5 days, Cornwall, backpack, heaven!

I often deliberately go on holiday on my own.

Think of this way - if you stay at home you'll still feel the same way ( possibly miss him etc ) but the weather will be crap and you won't have anything nice to take your mind of things but if you go you'll be in the sun, eating nice food and pampering yourself.

So glad you have decided to go, and what lovely messages from others. Please start a new thread whilst away with lovely tales of your trip x

OP. I’m glad you’ve decided to go. And if you feel yourself having a wobble there’s always MN

Thanks everyone. I'm still wobbling. In that I won't even have the cat when I'm there. I'll give it some more thought and try to be brave!

Go you will enjoy it. And if you don't? Well at least you are miserable in the sun.

It's good to spend time alone. Look for some really good books to read, enjoy the sunshine, good food and wine. Sign up for the walks, wine tasting and boat trips. If there are other single people there you might make some new friends and experience things that you would have missed out on with your ex. You will be able to do exactly what you want. Fancy lying in bed until lunch, yes you can, fancy getting up at 5 to watch the sunrise, yes you can. This is your holiday to spend how you please.