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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to spend my savings on a holiday?

40 replies

Voyager1 · 22/08/2017 00:15

This is my situation:

I am 33 years old, single. I was employed for 10 years, I had some savings but I have spent them on another degree in order to retrain as a psychologist. So, right now I am studying and living more or less hand-to mouth. My mum has told me that when I am back in a job and ready to buy a home, she will give me a sum of money (probably 10K or so) for a deposit on a house.

I have taken a big salary cut while retraining, but by living frugally I hope to have saved as much as £2,000 by next summer, when I qualify and graduate.

What I would like to do is to use that £2,000 to travel for a month or two before beginning my new career.

Do you think that it is reasonable for me to spend my savings on a trip abroad, and then accept money from mum for a house?
My sense of decency tells me that if I have £2000 to spare and want a house then I should spend my own money on it, not fritter my money away in the knowledge I'll get a handout.
On the other hand mum's offer is not dependent on my financial situation, it is a gift which she has long told my sister and I that we can ask for whenever we are ready for it. The opportunity for me to take a big chunk of time out to travel is unlikely to arise again soon.

So would I be unreasonable to spend my savings?

Thanks

OP posts:
JudyBlumeForever · 22/08/2017 00:23

£10k isn't an awful lot towards buying a house. It obviously depends on house prices in your area, but round here it would be barely enough as a deposit on a studio flat. Then you'd also have to add in all the additional buying costs (solicitors, surveys, searches, stamp duty, etc) which when we last moved came to over 2k in itself. You also need to budget for furnishing your house, decorating it, etc.

A holiday does seem like a lovely idea, but buying a house is expensive and you'll benefit more long term from that than a holiday.

Ellisandra · 22/08/2017 00:24

Talk to your mum!
I would love for my daughter to choose travel. It's so hard to have the time for that as your career progresses - money rich time poor!
If my daughter said "look, would you think it was a puss take mum...?" I'd say "away with you, you silly sausage - grab a map and tell me where you plan to go. And here's an extra £500 for your flight out to start your adventure" Smile

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 00:31

Ellisandra I would do the same there is a big word out there.

BackforGood · 22/08/2017 00:41

Of course YANBU. Once you have a mortgage, then it is a much harder decision to do that traveling.
Do it now before you have to start negotiating more time off work than you can normally get, combined with thinking how you can pay your mortgage whilst traveling.
It isn't just the money, it is also getting leave for a couple of months.

HoHoHoHo · 22/08/2017 00:48

If you can travel and buy a house grasp the opportunity with both hands. So many people would love to be in your situation. Life is for enjoying!

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 00:51

World!!!
Plenty of big words too .

Herefortheduration · 22/08/2017 01:01

Speak to your mum and then travel, I wish I'd had a last blast (as opposed to just the several blasts before then, lol)

Migraleve · 22/08/2017 01:02

I think it's a bloody awful thing to even consider.

Your mum is gifting you some money to try and see you get on in life but you are happy to squander your own on a holiday Hmm

Original poster
Voyager1 · 22/08/2017 01:07

Happy to hear so many think the travelling is a good idea! I did go abroad for a couple of months when I was 21, so it's not like I have never been adventuring, but it is a while ago now and you're right there is a big world out there, so much more I'd like to see.

I'll have a chat with mum. She is a bit of an anxious personality and in all honesty I think she'd rather I say safe and sound at home with money in the bank. So a bit of gentle persuasion is likely to be needed. Because of that I just want to be sure in my own mind that I am not being entitled and/or irresponsible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Voyager1 · 22/08/2017 01:08

migraleve Yeah that is the other side of the argument. Part of me agrees with you too. It's kind of head vs heart. Thanks for your view :-)

OP posts:
Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 02:38

Travel and ask your mum to keep the money a bit longer and save yourself for a bit once you start working.

Nuttynoo · 22/08/2017 05:41

10k isn't much for a house. Probably wouldn't cover deposit and legal fees/stamp duty. Your 2k should really be used towards that not wasted on a holiday. What kind of travelling can you do with 2k anyway?

Nuttynoo · 22/08/2017 05:41

10k isn't much for a house. Probably wouldn't cover deposit and legal fees/stamp duty. Your 2k should really be used towards that not wasted on a holiday. What kind of travelling can you do with 2k anyway?

BarbaraofSevillle · 22/08/2017 05:50

Depends entirely where the OP lives. There are plenty of places where you can buy a small terraced house for £50-100k and the OP probably wouldn't get a mortgage for much more anyway, assuming she's going to be earning £25-35k when she gets her graduate job.

£10k is a fine deposit on that sort of house, there will be no stamp duty and fees will probably be under £1k if she gets a mortgage without fees.

You can set up a house relatively cheaply and lots of friends/relatives often have spare household goods they are happy to pass on anyway.

OP, perhaps you might feel better if you take your DMs £10k, and only spend about £1k of your money on a holiday. Then you will have £1k to buy a fridge/washing machine/sofa/bed etc?

SaltySeaBird · 22/08/2017 05:52

If it was my DC I'd say travel (and try and give them the cost of a plane tickets too).

I do think £10k won't go very far so it might take a little longer than you think to save but living frugally to save for your trip will help you live frugally to save more for your deposit while you return.

Not everyone will agree - I know my own DM would say house and frown against the travel!

timeforabrewnow · 22/08/2017 06:00

Definitely do the travelling first.

I did a lot of 'holidays'/travelling in my 20s and early 30s and don't regret one penny of the money I'd saved up and spent. It was not a waste of time or money! Please don't let people put you off.

Where might you go?

I was thrilled to visit South America, the Himalayas, Oz and New Zealand, and Thailand among other places too..so exciting to plan a trip.

Cailleach666 · 22/08/2017 06:09

I think it's mean of you to accept the money from your mother then go off on holiday.

If you chose not to go on holiday your mother could give you 8K instead of 10K

Travelling is a great thing to do- I have done loads myself.
But at 33 years old we shouldn't be turning to our parents to expect them to support that which in fact you are doing.

beekeeper17 · 22/08/2017 06:17

Definitely do the travelling! I took time out to travel in my late twenties, best thing I ever did. Now I'm married with kids and a mortgage and although life is exciting in other ways now, that opportunity to be so carefree and not tied to any plans will never come round again.

Sit down and really map out your finances. What are your plans when you get back from travelling if it takes you a few months to get a job? Can you live at your parents for a while? That's what I had to do.

I'd seriously recommend getting yourself an evening/Saturday job for the next year to fit around your studying and just working really hard, saving every penny and being really careful with money. Build up that travelling fund so you have a bit more than 2k and go and have the trip of a lifetime. I'm so jealous!

IClavdivs · 22/08/2017 06:17

Do it! Do it! Do it!

Do it without a second thought while you're unencumbered.

19lottie82 · 22/08/2017 07:36

Do the travelling! But I'd save up a bit more than £2k if you can......

19lottie82 · 22/08/2017 07:37

Once you've paid for your flight to anywhere remotely exotic you will struggle to last 2 months on what's left!

Neutrogena · 22/08/2017 07:38

Do it - I find money is easy come easy go

19lottie82 · 22/08/2017 07:38

Once you've paid for your flight to somewhere remotely exotic I think you'd struggle to do anywhere near 2 months on what's left

QueenOfVipers · 22/08/2017 07:45

No, I wouldn't.
I'd spend a few hundred (I did France on my own for £200 for the entire week, for example, though that was four years ago). On somewhere cheap but nice as a treat for being so frugal and put the rest towards a house.
If your housing costs with a mortgage will be lower than renting perhaps you can save after getting the house? Just a thought.
Mind I wouldn't be concerned with £££ for setting up home either.... I set up an entire four bed house for my mum + siblings after an awful situation left them homeless. Thanks to freecycle and gumtree furnishing it including appliances cost me in the region of 1k and you'll likely have most of this stuff already anyway and if so, hire a van for the day.

Try to do a bit of both Smile

BitchQueen90 · 22/08/2017 07:47

£10k can get you a terrace house easy in my area. I'd do the travelling. You only live once.