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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to spend my savings on a holiday?

40 replies

Voyager1 · 22/08/2017 00:15

This is my situation:

I am 33 years old, single. I was employed for 10 years, I had some savings but I have spent them on another degree in order to retrain as a psychologist. So, right now I am studying and living more or less hand-to mouth. My mum has told me that when I am back in a job and ready to buy a home, she will give me a sum of money (probably 10K or so) for a deposit on a house.

I have taken a big salary cut while retraining, but by living frugally I hope to have saved as much as £2,000 by next summer, when I qualify and graduate.

What I would like to do is to use that £2,000 to travel for a month or two before beginning my new career.

Do you think that it is reasonable for me to spend my savings on a trip abroad, and then accept money from mum for a house?
My sense of decency tells me that if I have £2000 to spare and want a house then I should spend my own money on it, not fritter my money away in the knowledge I'll get a handout.
On the other hand mum's offer is not dependent on my financial situation, it is a gift which she has long told my sister and I that we can ask for whenever we are ready for it. The opportunity for me to take a big chunk of time out to travel is unlikely to arise again soon.

So would I be unreasonable to spend my savings?

Thanks

OP posts:

caffeinestream · 22/08/2017 07:52

You really need to speak to your mum. I think it's a bit of a piss-take to take £10k of her money for a house and not even contribute yourself (when you're clearly able to do so).

If she sees you gallivanting off on holiday for two months is she not going to ask why you couldn't use that money for a deposit yourself?

AyeAyeFishyPie · 22/08/2017 07:56

No, i couldn't do that - but then i have never had help, so maybe that is influencing my opinion. You do need to talk to your mum but you also need to look at some figures - as others have said 10k really isnt a lot and you may struggle to get a mortgage if you are newly qualified (that's a guess, I may well be wrong, but don't go travelling assuming you can buy a house on your return - it may not work like that).

BarbaraofSevillle · 22/08/2017 07:57

The travelling and house buying are a separate issue surely? It sounds like the OPs DM has offered both her DC an amount of money for a house deposit as unconditional gift.

And it would make most sense for the OP to have her holiday before she settles into work and being a homeowner when money and time may be much tigher for a few years.

I would talk to your DM and see what she thinks. She might be fine with you having a holiday and using her gift to help you buy your first property. You should also look into the lifetime ISA. If buying a propery is more than a year away and you follow all the rules, you can get a bit extra as a top up from the Government - look on moneysavingexpert etc for full details. All I know is you have to be under 40 and there are a couple of ISAs that work like this.

BudgiesInABlender · 22/08/2017 08:03

I think its better to travel- once in a lifetime.

You may never even be able to buy a house and with a 10k deposit, well that's not much. Your career might not take off as you'd hoped either.

coddiwomple · 22/08/2017 08:11

If I give money to my kids for their deposit, I wouldn't expect them to feel they have to stop having a life because of it. It's completely different if they beg for cash pleading poverty then squander our help on luxuries. A gift is a gift, I would be delighted if they do a bit of travelling. With all due respect, £2k is not that much money at all and life is short. If you were gifting someone a car, you wouldn't expect them to stop holidays/hairdressers and going out, would you?

No one can tell you what your mum thinks, you should speak with her, I just really don't see what the issue is.

StickThatInYourPipe · 22/08/2017 08:11

Some people get so funny about parents gifting money to their children.

OP it sounds like your mum has put that money aside for you and your dsis as an unconditional gift. It doesn't sound like if you had the 2k she would give you less.

Go travelling, but talk to your dm first

littlemisssweetness · 22/08/2017 08:14

One other thing to consider if you then want to buy a house is will have an emergency fund if you go travelling first? If anything breaks down when you own it's you that needs to replace it

junebirthdaygirl · 22/08/2017 08:16

Im a dm of 3 in thheir 20s and would have no problem with that. If l was giving them money towards a deposit it would have no conditions except it be used for deposit. I encourage travel as even learning to budget for that and all the experiences gained is worthwhile. My dc are all travelling in tgeir 20s from mo ey made in part time jobs. I did the same myself years ago. Just do it.

AnnabelleLecter · 22/08/2017 08:22

Yanbu.
You're using the smaller amount for a travel adventure then the bigger amount of money for the sensible stuff. I think that is fair enough.

WiIdfire · 22/08/2017 08:30

I think you should travel, but you do need to plan out your finances a little. How much deposit will you actually need for the type of house you want? How much are estate agent fees etc? Do you need to buy furniture/washing machine? How much will your first months mortgage payment be before you get paid? Plus a month of living expenses and commuting? Do you have a job lined up or will you need to support yourself for a couple of months while looking?

I'm all for the bug adventure, but not if it leaves you with absolutely nothing to live off.

acquiescence · 22/08/2017 08:34

Do it if you can.
I went away for a month to South American after finishing my retraining and before I started my first job. You won't get that kind of opportunity without taking unpaid leave when working and this ain't likely to be granted until you have been working a while, by which time you may have your mortgage and other commitments.
I spent around £2k probably. It was well worth it.

SlothMama · 22/08/2017 08:37

I'd travel, life's short and when you are in full time work it can be hard to travel!

Katkincake · 22/08/2017 08:40

I'd travel - never got to go post uni and envious of friends who did. The chance to travel for a decent length of to me pre work and mortgage commitments might not come up again in a long time. Like others say, speak to your DM first out of courtesy but I'm sure she'd support you. Enjoy

Migraleve · 22/08/2017 09:40

Do it - I find money is easy come easy go

That kind of attitude is fair game when it's your own hard earned, but when someone is kind enough to gift you £10K to help your future? Different situation entirely.

I would honestly be gobsmacked if one of my DC were so unappreciative

ThePants999 · 22/08/2017 10:22

Have you looked into house buying? As well as the deposit, you need thousands more for fees and other costs, not to mention furnishing etc, and all the work you only realise needs doing once you move in.

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