Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DS isn't behind?

39 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 21/08/2017 16:45

DS has just turned 10 months and I am constantly getting comments from people about his development.

He isn't walking, or crawling. He sits unaided and drags himself across the floor but doesn't properly crawl.

He doesn't say any words and doesn't wave or clap. Things many of my friends children were doing at this age.

He is my first so I have nothing to compare him to but he is developing, just at his own rate.

Should I be concerned or just let him get on with it?

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 21/08/2017 16:49

No you shouldn't be concerned. "Normal" development spans a very wide spectrum. My first didn't even sit up until he was 10 months, crawled at 12 months, and was 18 months before he started walking. My second was way, way, way ahead in terms of how quickly she reached these milestones. Crawling by 6 months, standing unaided and "cruising" by 11 months.

Both were completely within the "normal" spectrum.

Comparing your baby to others can lead to anxiety when there's no need. You could always ask your HV, who will have seen a huge variety of child development and will be able to reassure you.

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 21/08/2017 16:51

Nah! Ignore them, at 10months Ds2 was sitting, rarely tried to move anywhere, but could roll himself a bit. Couldn't speak at all.
I could sit him on a play mat and go to the loo he'd still be there when I got back.
Walked at 14/15 months, talked about the same time.
He was fine. First in his class to read, and is now a manager in a dental office.

FreshHorizons · 21/08/2017 16:54

Smile, nod, ignore- it isn't a race.

Fruitcocktail6 · 21/08/2017 17:01

Don't be concerned. My niece and nephew (twins) were nowhere near standing and barley crawling at 10 months. Now at 14 months they're both walking, and it all happened in the space of about two weeks.

KimmySchmidt1 · 21/08/2017 17:04

probably not delayed, but kids don't tend to do much they aren't taught, so have you thought about whether you focus on teaching him these things as much as other people do?

Its hard to know whether he should be doing these things without knowing whether you try to teach them to him.

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 21/08/2017 17:08

I am a teacher, although do secondary not little ones. I have been teaching some bits but most of the time let him get on with whatever he wants to do. We do lots of baby groups, activities and swimming.

OP posts:
Charliegirl1974 · 21/08/2017 17:18

He should be due the 1 year assessment with HV anytime now - DD had hers at not quite 11 months and they used this to assess her. <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99647%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=0ahUKEwin9_va2ujVAhVMLMAKHXdgBMAQFgglMAE&usg=AFQjCNGq55fSIjzxZsGHNDNNa7YLrUciLQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99647%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=0ahUKEwin9_va2ujVAhVMLMAKHXdgBMAQFgglMAE&usg=AFQjCNGq55fSIjzxZsGHNDNNa7YLrUciLQ She was a little behind on crawling/walking but well within "normal". She's just started walking at 14 months and I don't stop Grin

Spikeyball · 21/08/2017 17:19

Children (without sn) do not need to be 'taught' how to crawl, walk, talk etc. As long as they have enough opportunities to move around and their parents Talk to them and play with them, they will do it when they are ready.
I don't think there is anything to be concerned about at the moment.

Charliegirl1974 · 21/08/2017 17:23

Cruising, not walking.

Queenofthestress · 21/08/2017 17:24

Nope completely normal, first born tend to be a little slower then second born as there's no one to copy off, my ds is delayed and at 10 months wasnt even sitting unsupported so yours sounds about normal

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 21/08/2017 17:58

Thanks. He is quite big, taller than all his 1 year old friends so I think this makes people question his development as he looks older than he is. He has a good appetite and eats well so no signs of he growing slowing down!

OP posts:
Tazerface · 21/08/2017 18:04

Oh FGS

Not directed at you I promise OP! People that have an opinion on baby development at 10 months based on what you've put here need to give their heads a wobble.

Less than a year ago he was still part of you. I think he's doing fine. Some kids crawl later than others - some never crawl and just bum shuffle.

Reminds me of my mum expressing concern that my six week old twins weren't yet sleeping through the night. Never mind that they were two weeks corrected and actually, I thought we were doing pretty well!

Maplestaple · 21/08/2017 18:07

My eldest walked at 9 months but my two youngest were slower at picking it up and didn't walk till 14-15 months.

They all get there in their own time. I've read this type of thread before on here, why do people feel the need to comment on other people's children in such a negative way? Really pisses me off.

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 21/08/2017 18:11

Tazerface he still isn't sleeping through either! A good night is 2 feeds, a bad one 4/5!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 21/08/2017 18:13

My daughter crawled at 9 months, was cruising by 11 months...and that was it. Didn't walk unaided until she was 20 months.

I convinced myself there was something wrong with her and really upset myself a number of times over nothing. Don't do it to yourself op. I'm sure your little boy is just fine and will get there in his own time.

grannytomine · 21/08/2017 18:13

Being big for their age can be a curse, even when people know their age they still seem to expect them to do more. My son was always above the 95th percentile for height and weight and he was friends with a little boy at playgroup who was 1 day younger, he was a tiny little thing and the joke at playgroup was "What a difference a day makes." Still he would get told he should know better if the group was making too much noise or something the leader they shouldn't be doing. I did get annoyed about it in the end, he was only just old enough to be at playgroup and yet got told off for what older kids were doing.

RainbowRabbit33 · 21/08/2017 18:13

DD is a developmentally average child (full on darling PFB, of course, but developmentally average!!). She is three. To my knowledge, she has never waved in her entire life. I think I have seen her clap twice.

I worried at her one year check time because people wound me up about it. The health visitor didn't help... I have now concluded that she just can't see the point in clapping or waving.

MrsBobDylan · 21/08/2017 18:47

Go on your instinct op - I have 3 dc and I was really worried about my middle child with good reason as it turned out. The other two did stuff at different ages but I always knew they were headed in the right direction .

As it happened, other people spent their fucking lives telling me nothing was wrong with my middle dc, except those who actually knew what they were talking about (paediatricians etc). Even now, I can't go a week without some patronising twat trying to minimise my son's disability.

Anyway, rant over, what I'm trying to say is that there are lots of unqualified folk with opinions out there, most of whom are best ignored!

Mammyloveswine · 22/08/2017 09:59

My 19 month old is only just starting to say recognisable words in context! And even then he only says a handful (mamma, daddy, light on, yay and hiya)! He crawled at 10 months and walked at 13 months...now he runs EVERYWHERE! Don't worry OP, im an early years teacher and I KNOW I shouldn't compare him to others but I can't help it! It winds me right up when my friends post vids of their children the same age singing bloody nursery rhymes (even tho I'd fully do the same lol)! If you're really worried talk to your hv who will reassure you

HeteronormativeHaybales · 22/08/2017 10:33

My younger two walked at 17 months. Waving and clapping didn't happen much before a year IIRC. As for words... Confused

Ignore! It's not a race. It says nothing about later advancement or otherwise. The milestone that mattered to me was pointing by 18 months (happened in each case). The rest, I had every sense they would get there, and I was right.

Ttbb · 22/08/2017 10:38

A lot of children never crawl so I wouldn't worry. 10 months is too early for walking, talking and waving, especially for a boy, I wouldn't worry.

bruffin · 22/08/2017 10:41

At 10months ds was doing as your ds ie dragging himself along the floor a week later he was walking. He never crawled.
Bis development type was to not be able to do something one day and become an expert overnight. Same with speach, he swallowed a dictionary 2 days before his 2nd birthday and was spouting new words all day.

RB68 · 22/08/2017 10:42

These things don't always just happen - they are encouraged and developed in the child through the training by parents - so interaction is key for things like waving and clapping for sure - the walking comes in its own time as does crawling. Again though this can be encouraged by allowing them freedom and plenty of floor time - maybe putting toys just out of reach etc so he realises moving is necessary. Clapping and waving can come from music sessions or other baby/toddler groups as well

Greyhorses · 22/08/2017 10:44

My son didn't walk until about 14 months whereas my friends girls walked at 9 months, there's no stopping him now and there's no difference between them all. Don't worry!

aprilanne · 22/08/2017 10:49

oh jings just ignore daft people my middle son didnt walk until he was nearly two nothing wrong just a bit lazy as his older brother ran about getting toys for him .none of my three sons ever crawled they just shuffled on there bums .to be honest when they find there feet you wish they had,nt into every cupboard /basket some days its like the benny hill show .