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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Beards

55 replies

bilbobaggi · 10/07/2017 13:07

Hello lovely Mumsnetters, my DH would like to get your opinions on beards, and more importantly if you think a man with a beard (regardless of skin colour or appearance) looks like a Muslim.

So my in laws are a completely different thread, I won't go into it here as it would be a novel. Put simply FIL is a bit of a bully and controlling, MIL is a doormat and DHs nan is a bitter old woman. DH has a fine beard, it makes him look rugged and manly IMO, he's had it a few years now and he's had nothing but grief from his family about it. To paint the picture he's built a bit like Tom Hardy (yes really!!) white, he now shaves his head as his hair was thinning and receding, and his beard is sort of gingery. He wears jeans/ shorts and a t shirt for casual or with a shirt and a waistcoat for smart.

So onto last Saturday at the family BBQ at his aunts house with his whole family. DH nan, nan sister and FIL spend the whole time digging into DH about his beard saying it makes him look like a Muslim, in fact FIL said he looked like the Westminster attacker. I find this not only horrid to DH but also deeply islamaphobic and nasty. DH was very upset that night. Today MIL has sent him a serious text saying they shouldn't of teased him but that he did look like a Muslim, and as there's a lot of anti- Muslim hate going around it was very likely he might get attacked. I think this is bonkers, there's loads of people with beards you surely don't see a beard and think Muslim?! It shouldn't even matter you shouldn't be making such stereotypical judgments of people! I think DH's family are just trying to exert control over him by trying to make him shave it off, either that or they are just loopy. I love his beard, he washes it daily (with special beard shampoo) trims it and puts beard oil on it so it's a nicely kept beard.

What does everyone think? AIBU in saying the beard should stay and the rest of them can do one?! DH loves his beard but it makes him feel insecure to be put under so much pressure like this!

OP posts:
JuicyCake · 11/07/2017 01:04

Insane. I've never equated having a beard with looking like a Muslim (what does a Muslim even look like?).
Incidentally, my DH looks like Santa when he's with beard.

Patriciathestripper1 · 11/07/2017 01:07

What's wrong with looking Muslim?
They are all racist.

Patriciathestripper1 · 11/07/2017 10:10

Family that is not muslims Blush

Shantasia · 11/07/2017 10:16

My DFiance has been growing a beard for a few weeks to see what it would look like. Consensus is that it makes him look unsettlingly like Jeremy Corbyn. I am lobbying hard for a big shave, but he's threatening to get rid of it in stages, so I'll have to live with Jezza, followed by Jeremy Beadle, followed by Des Lynam, followed by a generic Stage Magician.

It's tempting to smother his face in Nair while he sleeps and just wipe it all off with that plastic applicator.

nigelsbigface · 11/07/2017 10:26

My boyfriend has a beard. He is more concerned st being mistaken for a hipster than a Muslim.
Your partners family sound mad.

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