Should I confront her?

[Ninabean17]

DD1 is in reception year at school.

In her class is a lovely little boy, who has an older brother.

This brother no longer goes to this school (he's roughly 9/10, I'm not sure why he no longer attends) but is regularly there with his mum when dropping off the younger brother.

He annoys the hell out of me.

He jumps on fences. Climbs under them. Pulls over netball hoops. Throws balls at people (footballs. One hit me on the head once) rides and jumps on his scooter (including spinning it in the air in front of people, again, has hit people several times)

My question is this: would ibu to confront his mum? She never does or says anything to him. She occasionally says 'nah don't do that' but that's literally it. She's too busy chatting. She can see what he's doing but chooses not to stop it, if this boy has any educational/physical special needs etc that aren't obvious then I can understand it might be a bit harder to 'control' him but surely she can be doing more?! Aibu thinking this?? Had enough of having to duck out of the way of his fecking scooter

YABU. What are you hoping to achieve by talking to her? It sounds like he isn't in your life very much and you are reacting like the mother of a small girl. You don't really know what is going on with them and there could be underlying reasons for this. If it was happening in your home it would be one thing, but in public you would just be being a busybody.

If his behaviour endangers you or even worst your child, then tell the mother immediately, but don't hope for much. If he is just being a brat, leave it. The mother obviously doesn't give a monkey, so you telling won't change a thing.

Ahhhhhh I see.... He doesn't look disabled ! My friend has a son with ODD and he doesn't look like he has problems. The fact he is not in school should ring alarm bells that there are problems.
My DS doesn't look like he has autism...but he does!

It's irrelevant if the child has some disability or not. His mum is chatting and not looking after him. If he has a hidden disability, it's even more unreasonable for her to ignore him and let him create mayhem when she knows there's a problem.
Terrible and selfish (lack of ) parenting either way you look at it.

Why on earth would you approach her?
Unless you're a teacher at your daughter's school, inappropriate!

I wouldn't approach the mother but you could have a word with the school?

There's a family like this at DSs school, the youngest is in nursery and races around on his scooter at drop offs/pick ups, is constantly going into the car park and towards the road and has to be sent back up towards his mother who is busy chatting and has no idea where he is. He's crashed into my legs before while I've been carrying the baby almost tripping me up it's annoying so I feel your pain but I don't think any parent would take it well if you approached them!

"confront her"? About what? Her kids behaviour has nothing at all to do with you. What are you going to do, march up to her and give her parenting lessons?

Really? Do you really think it hasn't occurred to her that her son's behaviour is less than desirable? You think it will be fixed by an interfering stranger having a firm word?

Mind your own business. You're there to pick up your child.

You say this mother is "too busy chatting". A telling phrase you used. She is talking to the other moms. Why don't you try that, it would get your mind off the little boy and his mother whom you don't like...because of her 9 year old son or something else? Why no good will toward her?

Again, mind your own business and stop trying to cause problems for other people.

If you really want to complain to someone,talk to the school and express concerns over safety.
"Confronting " her makes you the aggressor,and I wouldn't recommend it in front of kids and everyone else.

Right.. so I shouldn't say anything the next time his flying scooter hits my newborns pushchair or a falling netball hoop narrowly misses other children. Gotcha! And no I wouldn't ever tell another parent how to bring up their children. As another poster said, I dont know whats going on at home. And yes she's chatting to other parents, most of the time about how she can't wait to get to the pub at the weekend. I'm not expecting any conversation to actually change the boys behaviour. It's just incredibly frustrating that she doesn't seem to care.

And I'm not about to march up to her in the playground seeing red. I'd do it quietly so we could have the chance of a grown up conversation

Best thing to do is keep yourself and yours out of his way (and netball hoops). But none of these things have actually happened have they?

To me it sounds as if there is an SN, and mum is getting a few minutes respite and adult conversation when he is in a fairly safe environment.

I'd suggest speaking to someone at the school and raising it as a concern with them, if there's a real risk someone might get hurt. Let them deal with it.

Right.. so I shouldn't say anything the next time his flying scooter hits my newborns pushchair or a falling netball hoop narrowly misses other children. Gotcha!

You didn't bother your arse to say anything the first time?

"Confront her" is very aggressive language. It doesn't mean grown up conversation, it means stand up row in the playground.

Ohh *mummytime these things have absolutely happened. Monday was the scooter/pushchair incident and today was another netball hoop incident.
Will speak to the school tomorrow.

So some are saying he can do what he likes, it's not your business. Even if he has a hidden disability, he should be told by his mum to calm down, not just let him do what he pleases.

I DID say something when he hit the pushchair. It was the one and only time she's told him to stop but then she looked at me like it was my fault for getting in the way. I was standing against the wall, couldn't have been further out of the way.

If he nearly hit my newborn, I'd say something to the boy directly, loudly enough for the mum to hear it. If she doesn't take the hint and the kid doesn't stop, I'd say excuse me but he is going to hurt someone. No need for quiet words or confronting, just normal conversation!

but then she looked at me like it was my fault for getting in the way.

Right so you have already confronted her, and where did that get you? Did it improve the situation? Doesn't sound like it.

YABU if it just annoys you
YANBU if he has knocked into you
I'd say something

Complain to the school and don't be fobbed off op good luck

I don't think yanbu op, There is a parent like this at my DCs school, Her kid runs around hitting other kids, She does nothing.
Its very frustrating.

Speak to the school, not the mother.