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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a damn lay in too??

38 replies

Kipkop · 25/06/2017 09:08

Me and DH have both had a week off together with our DD, he works full time shifts, I work part time shifts, we had a mini break during the week during which time I got up with DD every morning , made coffee , breakfast etc. We got home Friday, and Saturday he didn't get up with DD, and again this morning I'm up with DD.

I'm back to work tomorrow , so now Iv got the hump that I haven't had a single lay in this week. Not even 20 mins to enjoy a coffee in bed. DH has also been coming to bed late (IMO) either midnight if he's awake or after midnight if he falls asleep on the sofa.

I've just brought this up with him and he basically said why are you moaning if u want to go bed at midnight then do it , I said but what about when DD wakes at 6am ! He said he would get up with her . Oh really ?! Why haven't you then! Apparently I need to nudge him and tell him to get up with her .... why should I nudge him? No one nudges me ? So early mornings with DD is primarily my responsibility unless I nudge DH?

AIBU to think I'm being taken the piss out of ?

OP posts:
araiwa · 25/06/2017 09:10

Next time nudge him

Problem solved

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 25/06/2017 09:11

My husband's the same. I had a rare night out last night and I'm in bed feeling ill-I had to force him to get up with DD. Yanbu.

TeaBelle · 25/06/2017 09:13

Dh is the same, he just doesn't hear her as quickly as I do. I nudge him, he gets up. He's offered a solution, give it a go. Next week off agree it in advance

PlaymobilPirate · 25/06/2017 09:13

You're doing it so he's letting you.

Discuss the unfairness - no messing about. Put a new plan in place.

Do gets Saturday morning lie in and I get Sunday (I'm still in bed, not sleepy but not ready to get up yet)

RandomMess · 25/06/2017 09:13

Just tell him you take turns from now on?

Alittlepotofrosie · 25/06/2017 09:14

Well what the heck is the point on moaning about it on the last day! You should have said something on day 1 or 2. Now it looks like you're trying to be a martyr.

FeckinCrutches · 25/06/2017 09:14

Just wake him up Confused I don't see the problem?

Checkingusername · 25/06/2017 09:16

I get what you mean, he should have done it without being told to

My DSF, gets up with my DB's so my DM can have a lie in. He is not asked, he simply does.

Original poster
Kipkop · 25/06/2017 09:16

Yeh I agree not wait till the last day - it only just dawned on me today was last day. Tbh I didn't mind doing it while we were on holiday as he does work hard and awful shifts, I think since being home it's bothered me

OP posts:
Hulababy · 25/06/2017 09:17

Not everyone hears noises as quickly. It takes me longer to 'come round' and move when I hear a noise or need to get up. However it doesn't mean that I have no intention of moving.

Your dh has offered a simple solution. He doesn't hear dc, so if you do then give him a quick nudge and say 'your turn' and roll over and go back to sleep. It really could be that simple if you want it to be.

FeckinCrutches · 25/06/2017 09:18

I get what you mean, he should have done it without being told to
How is he going to manage that if he's asleep?

Original poster
Kipkop · 25/06/2017 09:21

But I'm asleep too Feckincrutches

I get that I may wake before him, but most mornings DD comes into our bed and we have a drink etc, he even wakes up to say "turn that down" or something along those lines. So he does wake.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 25/06/2017 09:23

I'm the same, my dh wakes up quicker than me if the kids wake up now we are past the tiny baby needs feeding stage. He just gives me a kick if it's my turn.

Dolallytats · 25/06/2017 09:24

My DH is the same-although he sleeps like he's dead and I'm a really light sleeper. If I have to wake up to nudge him awake then I might as well get up because I'm not getting back to sleep.
It's not really on that the person who should be having a lie in has to actually wake up to wake the other person up!! It defeats the whole thing.

MsPassepartout · 25/06/2017 09:25

I hate this.

It's just not a proper lie in if you have to be waking DH up first.

Does he actually get up first time if you nudge him? If he leaps out immediately it's not quite as bad.

fanfrickintastic · 25/06/2017 09:25

We decide before going to bed who will get up with DS the next day. Saves many arguments. As a rule we do alternate nights.

araiwa · 25/06/2017 09:28

Maybe you need individual bedrooms and give your child a schedule of which room to go to when they get up?

You cant blame dh that youre a lighter sleeper than him and find it difficult to go back to sleep.

NavyandWhite · 25/06/2017 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Butterymuffin · 25/06/2017 09:32

Make arrangements in advance. I'd say to him that next weekend you will have both lie ins as you didn't get one at all this week, and after that you each get one day each weekend, you Sat and him Sun or vice versa.

GlitterRoseGold · 25/06/2017 09:36

Go get yourself a coffee and go back to bed, leave dd with dp

GlitterRoseGold · 25/06/2017 09:37

Sometimes if DP has a lie in, when he wakes he will come down and say to me do you fancy going up for a wee sleep and I'll take the child

Urubu · 25/06/2017 09:38

Sorry but YABU, just discuss it at the behinning of the weekend: who gets a lie in on Sat and who gets it on Sun. Then when it is his turn you just let him get up.
Not sure why you chose to wait until the last day to discuss it, when he can't do anything about it anymore. And sorry but if my DH was waking up with the DC every day without saying anything to le ablut it I would just assume he doesn't mind.

Urubu · 25/06/2017 09:38

"anything to me about it", sorry for the typos

sparklefarts · 25/06/2017 09:40

Yabu. You've had plenty of time to raise this with him. I really don't get why you wouldn't have said before hand. It's not hard at all to say 'I did it yesterday, it's your turn today'
To which it sounds like your partner would have gotten up.
Unless you were trying to be a martyr?

Allyg1185 · 25/06/2017 09:42

Not a chance. Me and my husband both work Monday to Friday hes up at 6am and starts at 7am I'm up at 7.15am and do the school run etc. When it comes to the weekend we take turn about if I have a Saturday he will get the Sunday. He doesn't hear our son get up but I give him a quick nudge and hes up. Its fair that way and theres no resentment