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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude Mums

66 replies

Barbie77 · 22/06/2017 16:40

Hello, I have just joined Mumsnet and I'm nervous about doing this. Today one of my twins was unwell but the other one went to school as usual. When I went to collect the well one I had to leave the sick one in the car in the picking up zone in the school grounds. As I was rushing back to the car I was trying to get past two Mother's when I got past one of them very loudly said behind me to the other mother how some people don't have any patience well I just turned round and looked directly at her and said to her crossly that I had an unwell child in the car and that they had a high temperature and she just arrogantly shook her head and I ran back to the car. Coming home I cried and my twin vomited. I just find other Mother's very critical and judgemental. It really gets me down. I would like to know was I in the wrong?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 22/06/2017 16:41

Did you say "excuse me?"

ThymeLord · 22/06/2017 16:43

Depends if you shoved your way past or said excuse me.

pinkyredrose · 22/06/2017 16:44

Well did you push past them? Sounds like you did. If so YABU. Pushing past would have saved you all of 2 seconds and it wouldn't stop your kid being ill.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/06/2017 16:46

Did you do that thing where you get up right behind on the heels of the people in front trying to overtake or did you say excuse me?

If it's the former the rude mum is you I'm afraid.

Pickerel · 22/06/2017 16:46

Whoever was right or wrong, it's a little thing to worry about too much, OP. If you went home and cried then I think you're over reacting a bit!

GloriaGilbert · 22/06/2017 16:47

To be fair they hardly knew if you were in a race to Pilates or a sick child. I think you should probably let it go.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 22/06/2017 16:47

I thought this was going to be about someone judging you for leaving a sick child unattended in the car. Which has happened to me.

So you rushed past some mums and they commented that some people have no patience. Without more detail, we can't comment. Did you push past them or say excuse me please?

Pigeonpost · 22/06/2017 16:48

Yup, if you pushed and didn't say excuse me then you were the one being rude, sorry.

TenForward82 · 22/06/2017 16:48

Was the sick twin asleep?

NancyDonahue · 22/06/2017 16:49

Oh I think you can be forgiven for rushing past them if you've got an ill child. People are generally arsed with each other nowadays for small things. Hope dd is OK.

NancyDonahue · 22/06/2017 16:50

*arsey

Decaffstilltastesweird · 22/06/2017 16:50

Even if you did push past, the other mum sounds unnecessarily confrontational tbh. If you didn't, then her behaviour sounds utterly bonkers. But yes, it's not something that would normally make me cry. Don't think about it too much op. It's not worth getting upset over.

Hope your dc is ok soon Flowers.

OliveSoap · 22/06/2017 16:52

I just find other Mother's very critical and judgemental. It really gets me down.

Based on this one incident, involving one woman making a comment?

TenForward82 · 22/06/2017 16:53

OP, you have twins, it's (probably) hot as buggery where you are, your baby is sick and you're under stress. Don't let it bug you. Some people are rude. You've had a cry, it's out of your system, try not to think about it and have an ice cream or some chocolate 🍫

PickAChew · 22/06/2017 16:54

A bit of courtesy and a few manners in all directions make most interactions with others somewhat more pleasant.

You say excuse me if you need to pass and it'll be a squeeze.
If you accidentally bump someone, you apologise
And, if you accidentally step in someone's way when they would have had room to get past, otherwise, you apologise, too, even if it might have been their fault.

Hurts no one and makes everyone feel better. If someone comes hurtling past you, though, it's human nature to be peed off by it.

Original poster
Barbie77 · 22/06/2017 16:56

I didn't push past or shove I was trying to get round without disturbing anyone. I don't feel comfortable around the other Mother's and I avoid them as much as I can. I'm a quiet person and they make me nervous.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/06/2017 16:56

I just find other Mother's very critical and judgemental. It really gets me down.

Says the op while being critical and judgemental Grin

It's probably just one of those days where everything has got a bit much op. Don't sweat it.

GloriaGilbert · 22/06/2017 16:57

Even if you did push past, the other mum sounds unnecessarily confrontational tbh

I agree, but it's about the other woman - not the OP. Which is why she should let it go.

I understand how you feel, though. Flowers

PickAChew · 22/06/2017 17:03

Social anxiety can be crippling, but you're going to have to face other parents for a fair few years. It's good to practice breezy - put on a don't give a fuck mask. Good morning, excuse me, whatever's needed, and keep moving without engaging any more deeply. That's much easier than trying to slink into the background because, as you've discovered, it's easy to balls up and end up with a much more negative reaction than you were seeking.

Original poster
Barbie77 · 22/06/2017 17:03

Thanks everyone for your advice. I just needed to see it from another perspective.

OP posts:
Original poster
Barbie77 · 22/06/2017 17:07

How did you know I had social anxiety? Pickachew Yeah I don't have a good esteem.

OP posts:
RubyRoseRing · 22/06/2017 17:08

That sounds like a normal day on AIBU. The other parent wasn't necessarily aware you had a sick child waiting in the car.

Gemini69 · 22/06/2017 17:10

School gate Mothers are the vilest people on earth... sneering judgmental nothing to do but gossip nobodies...

Ignore them .. or do an obvious fake smile passing them.... and focus on your kids x

GloriaGilbert · 22/06/2017 17:12

School gate Mothers are the vilest people on earth... sneering judgmental nothing to do but gossip nobodies...

I think you forgot a some at the beginning of your sentence.

Original poster
Barbie77 · 22/06/2017 17:12

Do you know I've tried different ways to make it less stressful getting them in and out of school. It's nightmare at my school.

OP posts:
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