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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regifted back something I gave a relative.....twice

38 replies

Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:18

So I've name changed as this is really outing,
Last Christmas I received a toiletries set that I had given to a relative at least 2 years previous, not a problem I quite liked it so used it, didn't say anything.
It was my birthday earlier this week, received another similar gift from the same relative, it was the gift I gave them at Christmas!
We've had an odd relationship not always getting along but ok at the moment, are they doing this on purpose or do they just have a shit memory?
I don't want to say anything but aibu to think something weird is going on?

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:21

Just to add the gifts were rather distinctive so I'm pretty sure it isn't just coincidence they are the gifts I gave her

OP posts:
Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 18/06/2017 22:25

I would take it that the gift is not to their taste.

I often regift especially with the kids presents as they end up with loads of duplicates. I do however have a spreadsheet with the regift gifts on to avoid gifting back.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 18/06/2017 22:26

What make was the toiletries set? It might be a coincidence.

annandale · 18/06/2017 22:26

Perhaps ask them what they would like next Christmas? Or stop doing presents?

peekyboo · 18/06/2017 22:26

I think that you should ignore whether they're being malicious or not (maybe passive aggressive) and just take it as a sign to only give them a card and a voucher if you feel like it in the future. Whatever reason they have they obviously don't appreciate your gifts so save your efforts for someone else!

VerityHabitat · 18/06/2017 22:27

I would think they have a shit memory and not that something is going on. Just buy things for them in the future that you want for yourself!

AdalindSchade · 18/06/2017 22:27

Stop buying them toiletries.

EmmaC78 · 18/06/2017 22:29

I would probably just use this as an opportunity to have a discussion that it might be appropriate to stop buying each other presents and perhaps just go out for a nice meal together instead.

Helenluvsrob · 18/06/2017 22:29

It's obvious isn't it? Play the game 😂 You give it to her, she gives it back, you give it again and so on

Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:30

One set was from boots, a seasonal item only available that year, so definitely not a coincidence, the second one was a perfume, I was unsure at the time wether to keep it for myself as I liked it! So at least I got it back! (Although it had been opened and taped back up, maybe they didn't like the smell)
I'm not against regifting, but a spreadsheet or a good memory is essential

OP posts:
badgercat · 18/06/2017 22:31

Start writing your Christmas message on the actual box - that'll stop the tight bint 😁

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 18/06/2017 22:31

I'm with the poster who suggests you ask her what she would like (and then get that)

Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:32

YES badgercat, LOVE that idea

OP posts:
user1487941567 · 18/06/2017 22:32

When I get a toiletries set I think great... another set to hang around my bathroom gathering dust. I have a skin condition so can only use certain items so I often regift. NEVER to the same person though. How embarrassing. Perhaps they think you really like the stuff as you bought it, so it's economical and a good idea? Hence doing it more than once?

Ginkypig · 18/06/2017 22:34

Start buying things you want for yourself and then you'll get it back a few months later Grin

Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:35

Don't really want to ask what she would like, as it's just a token gift tbh
She did tell me once that she loves to receive smellies/perfume as gifts as she always buys herself the cheap supermarket shower gel so it's nice to use a more luxury product, that's why I buy them.

OP posts:
RandomDent · 18/06/2017 22:36

I once regifted something back to the giver as a joke, I thought we could start an annual thing. She didn't get the joke, though, no idea if she forgot she gave it to me first, or just kept quiet out of embarrassment. Blush. I'd have a go at giving it back to them. :o

Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:37

She doesn't have a skin condition, so that's not a reason, this year I bought her wine and chocolate, I don't like wine so I hope I don't get it back 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:42

Just to add, I say I think we are getting along but I'm not sure, it's very hard for me to read the situation, it's complicated

OP posts:
user1487941567 · 18/06/2017 22:44

Well you'll know for sure if she didn't like the chocolates because you'll get them back with one missing 😂

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 18/06/2017 22:46

If there was ever a great opportunity for the Oxfam charity goat, then it's this one Grin

MissSmiley · 18/06/2017 22:46

Never mind about the smellies, why is your relationship complicated??

Original poster
Notanothernamechangeaddict · 18/06/2017 22:48

It's too long to explain why it's complicated, very long!

OP posts:
LostSight · 18/06/2017 22:48

A lovely friend, who often gives us gifts of chocolate recently included a delicious box of special Belgian chocolates we had brought back for her.

She's too nice to have done it deliberately to upset us, so I conclude either 1) it was a mistake and she genuinely forgot or 2) she doesn't eat chocolates and was subtley telling us not to bring her more.

BoomBoomsCousin · 18/06/2017 22:49

I agree to treat it as a game. Is there anyway you can give her back something she's given you in the past? I would definitely avoid giving her gifts I didn't really like myself though!