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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make him see the doctor

67 replies

Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 07:34

My husband is 47, he has been taking medication for high blood pressure since his late twenties. His father had a major heart attack at 39 and two of his uncles did not make it past their fifties (fatal cardiac arrest in both cases). He has just told me that during the night he had chest pain lasting for about an hour which was so severe he thought he was having a heart attack. It passed and he is in no pain now, but I think he should go and get himself checked out by the doctor. Am I being hysterical?

OP posts:
Nan0second · 18/04/2017 07:41

He needs to see a doctor.

Rosa · 18/04/2017 07:42

Of course he should... Even if it did not run in the family it should get checked out.

SquatBetty · 18/04/2017 07:42

Not in the slightest bit hysterical - he must see a doctor ASAP.

Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 07:52

He's adamant he's going into work (he has an important meeting) and might go to the walk in centre this evening. I am tearing my hair out here!

OP posts:
LouKout · 18/04/2017 07:54

He maybe WAS having a heart attack. So sorry he is being so foolhardy

Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 08:04

Lou, I told him exactly that, and he has even conceded it may be possible he was actually having a heart attack, but the meeting is too important to miss...I despair.

OP posts:
Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 08:32

He's just told me when he had the pain he was sweating profusely, over the past few weeks he's had intermittent swelling in his hands which I told him at the time could be a sign of issues with his heart. What a complete an utter knob, he's promised to come home straight after his meeting.

OP posts:
Iwant2move · 18/04/2017 08:43

Please try to persuade him to be seen this morning. Last year the woman sat opposite me in our GP's waiting room was having a heart attack. It was very peaceful. She just looked nervous.

I was shocked by how calm she was. It would be so easy to ignore and assume it was something less serious.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 18/04/2017 08:48

You're not hysterical - he needs to see a Dr. Sadly you can't make him go but obviously you can do your very best to convince him.

TheClaws · 18/04/2017 08:55

Yes, he does need to see a doctor. My DH thought he might 'just sleep it off', but in fact he was having a massive heart attack. If he hadn't been mercilessly nagged into calling the ambulance, he wouldn't be here today. DH is in his mid forties. Just make sure he is checked over.

Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 08:56

He's gone to work, I'm so frustrated with him. I'm hoping he had a really bad case of indigestion, but with his family history and the swollen hands I can't believe he's being so flippant. Today is going to be a long day.

OP posts:
Whitegrenache · 18/04/2017 08:58

I work in cardiology...:this is a life threatening situation and he needs to go to A and E now or phone an ambulance. Tell him to take 375mg of aspirin immediately

Whitegrenache · 18/04/2017 08:59

325mg aspirin

Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 09:00

White, he's gone to work! He won't listen to reason, the pain and sweating subsided after an hour and he hasn't had any since so he thinks he's ok to wait.

OP posts:
EC22 · 18/04/2017 09:01

I'd think it a good idea he go get his bloods checked and a CTG. I'd ask that if it happens again he go to a&e straight away x

Chillyegg · 18/04/2017 09:05

I think id wade in hear and rotally ne a massive controlling arse and call his boss/manager / hr and say you think you stupid husband is probably having a heart attack explain the situation hopefully they walk him out the building. To a taxi to the hospital.

Mrscog · 18/04/2017 09:10

What an arse - do you have DC? It sounds like he had a heart attack in the night. I would call 111 on his behalf and get them to send an ambulance to his work!

Original poster
Steggers123 · 18/04/2017 09:17

Chilly, he is the boss unfortunately.

Mrscog, we have three sons, so he's being a total arse not taking this seriously. He's in his meeting now, so I just have to wait.

OP posts:
Mrscog · 18/04/2017 09:20

I really hope he's ok, sorry you have to go through such a morning of worry Flowers

trulybadlydeeply · 18/04/2017 09:24

How long is the meeting likely to be? He really does need medical attention ASAP.

DartmoorDoughnut · 18/04/2017 09:24

Hope he's ok and at the hospital/doctors sharpish

mrsgumpy · 18/04/2017 09:26

Of course he needs to see the doctor, asap. This sounds like a cause for intervention. I would be handing him an ultimatum.

Giddyaunt18 · 18/04/2017 09:27

Really need stop see someone ASAP. As you know, the history, pain, sweating, swelling are all red flags! Really hope he gets seen quickly. Good luck.

Giddyaunt18 · 18/04/2017 09:28

Forget coming home after the meeting, tell him you'll meet him at A&E.

HerOtherHalf · 18/04/2017 09:28

He's in his meeting now, so I just have to wait.

No, you don't. As MrsCog posted, you can phone 111 and get an ambulance to him. He has shown symptoms of a heart attack and given his history is very high risk. I understand you are reluctant and that he will probably be extremely pissed off if an ambulance turns up and he gets the all clear but can you imagine how you will feel if he has a further fatal attack and you have to live with the consequences? Ultimately, the handler on 111 will make the decision so if they believe there is merit in sending someone out based on the information you provide then you will have been justified.