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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say bless you to strangers?!

82 replies

Imknackeredzzz · 17/04/2017 07:47

I'm starting to wonder if this is just me being over polite, or am I going against etiquette.

A couple of times recently I've been out and about and someone has sneezed. If I am nearby I've instinctively said "bless you" without really thinking.

recently I've been getting strange looks from people for doing this. Is this now a really odd thing to do?! I always was brought up to do this and assumed it was the polite thing to do.

Please advise me if I shouldn't be doing this, or should you just say "bless you" to those you know?! Or not at all

I'm confused

OP posts:

PastysPrincess · 17/04/2017 07:48

I do this! I do it under my breath so one can hear.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 17/04/2017 07:57

On the whole I'd say it's not the done thing.

Sneezing is a bodily function. It's probably the most socially acceptable of them but when I sneeze I try to muffle it as much as possible and say excuse me, which my 3-on-Wednesday DD copies and says 'asmooze me!' which is so cute but it is like drawing attention to it.

It's harmless though.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 17/04/2017 08:00

I say it but am willing to be told that it's highly improper due to religious significance and people might implode in front of you if you do so.

Cel982 · 17/04/2017 08:03

I would find it irritating from a stranger, to be honest. Any sort of comment on another's bodily functions is just a bit rude and unnecessary.

CustardLover · 17/04/2017 08:05

Gosh, I always do this (just a manners reflex) and have only ever had smiles and 'thank you' in reply - never even occurred to me that it might be rude.

PhoenixJasmine · 17/04/2017 08:05

My impulse reaction is 'gesundheit' - German - means 'good health' I think. My mother said it. I'm sure that would probably offend some people too!

It's custom, it's understandable that it's a reflex response. Perhaps it's more people not being used to strangers acknowledging each other in public rather than the wording itself?

intheknickersoftime · 17/04/2017 08:05

I say bless you to strangers if they sneeze next to me quite often.

chitofftheshovel · 17/04/2017 08:07

I do it without thinking. But also have people bless me sometimes if I sneeze in public. It's never loud, just an acknowledgment of another person. I don't see the problem with it.

intheknickersoftime · 17/04/2017 08:08

It never ever occurred to me that anyone would think it was rude. Interesting.

Mysterycat23 · 17/04/2017 08:08

Not saying it makes me feel uncomfortable. So another mutterer here

nothercupoftea · 17/04/2017 08:08

I always thought that it was rude to say to anyone, even more so to complete strangers. Not really necessary to attract even more attention to a random body function, is it.

MuttsNutts · 17/04/2017 08:08

It also depends where you live. I live in The North where strangers speak to each other when out and about so wouldn't seem strange to me - I'd smile and thank you

I can imagine people scowling at you down South elsewhere though.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 17/04/2017 08:09

I think it's quite nice old fashioned and wouldn't bother me. I find it a bit awkward if I have to do loads of sneezes and then get about 20 bless yous!
I'm an atheist and it doesn't offend.

intheknickersoftime · 17/04/2017 08:11

It's just a sneeze though. I wouldn't say anything if someone farted in front of me. Most people who say bless you know the difference as to what bodily function to comment on.

HerOtherHalf · 17/04/2017 08:12

Having witnessed a few uninvited "bless you"s from strangers I think it's probably best avoided. It can sometimes come across as a veiled, ironic criticism implying that the sneeze was inappropriately loud etc. A lot depends on the tone and demeanour of the blesser but if you are getting weird looks more often than not maybe it's time to take a hint that your good intentions are being misinterpreted.

Rossigigi · 17/04/2017 08:14

I automatically always say 'bless you' and have always received a 'thank you' never thought about it to be honest?......

thethoughtfox · 17/04/2017 08:15

It's a reflex response like saying 'excuse me' that most people grew up saying and hearing. I am and atheist so have made a concise effort to teach dd to say 'gesundheit' instead. I am always touched when someone says 'Bless you'. It's good manners.

FlowerPowerPotter · 17/04/2017 08:15

Nothing wrong with this, I say 'bless you' to strangers all the time and they say the same to me and I thank them. Never had a funny look or reaction at all - other than a thank you.

If it matters, I live in London where people are supposedly not friendly (we are though, we just don't like chatting on the tube with a stranger's armpit an inch from our face, it's all about the right time/circumstances!).

pipsqueak25 · 17/04/2017 08:16

personally i find this superstitious nonsense irritating, so it quietly annoys me if i over heard someone say 'bless you' when i sneeze but i do realise others feel differently to me.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 17/04/2017 08:17

I say bless you, and have it said to me. (South East, non-Christian.) both in GB and abroad. It's fairly universal in Europe, IME.

It's not offensive. If anything, it's the opposite: it's an acknowledgment that the sneezer had a momentary loss of bodily control, but that it's OK and they did not cause offense.

oldwife · 17/04/2017 08:21

I say it to strangers but then again I talk to anyone.

I had never considered it to be offensive.

As pp say it's a reflex response many times - just like please and thank you. ?

nothercupoftea · 17/04/2017 08:30

by saying "bless you", you are telling the sneezer that s/he wasn't quiet enough so it comes out as a mild criticism. It's not offensive as such, it's just not really polite.

muffintopsausage · 17/04/2017 08:54

I do this, you're just polite. The ones giving you dirty looks are dicks.

Dustanddebris · 17/04/2017 08:59

I quite like it when someone says "bless you" when I sneeze in public,

Smiler2013 · 17/04/2017 09:03

I always say bless you and say thank you when said to me. Don't find "bless you" offensive at all.

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