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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not a TAAT, but with reference to the Joan restaurant bill thing...

44 replies

LapdanceShoeshine · 15/04/2017 19:47

2-week 2-centre holiday in Spain for 2 couples, one with DS aged 14, one with 2 DSs aged 14 & 10.

One adult (parent of 2 DSs) did all the organising. Accommodation costs split in half.

For meals out, when it was suggested that bills were split down the middle, couple with 1 DS went along with it, but grudgingly and clearly feeling hard done by. (10-yr-old did not eat a lot)

Who WBU?

OP posts:
WonkoTheSane42 · 15/04/2017 19:49

All the people who went along with something they weren't happy about instead of talking to the other people like grown ups.

Imaginingdragonsagain · 15/04/2017 19:50

For a 2 week holiday I wouldn't expect the bills to be split in half all the time. Fair to split accommodation 50:50 assuming the siblings shared.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2017 19:51

Why can't people pay for what they had for a meal out? Is it really that hard to work it out?

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 15/04/2017 19:51

If (you?) they felt hard done by they should have said at the time, "no, we'll pay for what we order" restaurants split bills all the time.

Agreeing at the time and whingeing afterwards about being hard done by? Silly.

BigGreenOlives · 15/04/2017 19:51

Why didn't you just divide bills by 7 & then multiply the answer by 3? Not much harder than halving and no dispute. Unless the 10 year old only had water they would presumably still have been a main & a drink + service/cover charge.

SeaCabbage · 15/04/2017 19:51

Thing is, two weeks of meals out, even for a ten year old, main meal, dessert and drinks, would all add up to quite a lot.

If the parent who did all the organising didn't want to do all the organising, they should have said so.

Maybe the organiser didn't feel that their efforts were appreciated?

Shakirasma · 15/04/2017 19:51

Whether or not the accommodation costs were fair depends on the number of rooms used.

The meal situation was unfair, but why did the couple with 1 child not say it wasn't ok?

arethereanyleftatall · 15/04/2017 19:52

The family of 4 should definitely have contributed more than the family of 3. Not sure how you could argue otherwise.

sonjadog · 15/04/2017 19:52

The couple with the two sons were absolutely in the wrong, but the other couple should have spoken up.

BounceBounceSplishSplash · 15/04/2017 19:53

The other couple basically paid half of your 2nd DCs food for the entire 2 weeks so it was an additional cost to them. I can see why they're miffed but they shouldn't have gone along with it in the first place.

AyeAmarok · 15/04/2017 19:53

I think it's always up to the person/party who consumed "more", whether that be because there are more people in that party, or there was more wine/courses or whatever consumed, to offer to go halfers.

Otherwise, if it's the person with more people in their party/who necked alcohol while the other had soft drinks/who had 3 courses when the other had 2, then they just look like they are trying to wangle something for nothing to the other person/party's detriment.

BounceBounceSplishSplash · 15/04/2017 19:53

Sorry, I assumed you were the couple with two DC OP!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 15/04/2017 19:54

what was the accommodation?
couple1/room
14 yo/room
couple2/room
siblings/room

then the deal is probably fair enough.

if the siblings had a room each though, it becomes a little more weighted in favour of them (C2) with C1 subsidising accom costs

it's not outrageous though, like joan subbing that greedy wine swilling, cheese eating shower of shites.

AyeAmarok · 15/04/2017 19:55

Sorry, person party who consumed LESS! Not more.

ScarlettDarling · 15/04/2017 19:55

If I was the mum of the family with 2dc, I'd definitely be paying for 2 dc. The family of 4 pay for 4, the family of 3 pays for 3.

StealthPolarBear · 15/04/2017 19:56

Was just scratching my head over that aye :o

CocoLoco87 · 15/04/2017 19:58

greedy wine swilling, cheese eating shower of shites.

Grin
longlostpal · 15/04/2017 19:59

It was unreasonable to split the restaurant bills, but on the other hand the couple with one child should have just said something at the time. They would be unreasonable to complain about it now.

trinitybleu · 15/04/2017 20:00

For the restaurant bills, I'd have said if it was, say, £73 and we had the two kids ... you ok to throw in £30 or something and we'll cover the rest? My friends would then actually put in £35 and we'd put in £45. So £10 a head plus £5 top each.

I base this on experience as we've only got 1 child but this is usually what happens.

BounceBounceSplishSplash · 15/04/2017 20:02

The couple with 2 DCs shouldn't have even suggested splitting the food bills 50/50 in the first place. Cheeky hallions.

Original poster
LapdanceShoeshine · 15/04/2017 20:13

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia

it's not outrageous though, like joan subbing that greedy wine swilling, cheese eating shower of shites

Thanks for that Grin

(siblings did share a room by the way so each family had 2 rooms)

Hands up, I was the cheeky hallion parent who organised Blush

Thing was that if it had been the other way round I honestly wouldn't have quibbled at halving, which is why it didn't occur to me not to halve. It was many years ago now & I forget the precise details of what happened - we probably put in tips (but tbf the meals cost nothing like £70+)

OP posts:
SaltySeaBird · 15/04/2017 20:17

Accommodation split by rooms so if both families used two rooms each then 50:50, (same if all three children shared one room and couple had one each).

Meals split 3:4 again by number or people or each family pay for what you eat. Even if the 10 year old doesn't eat a lot over the course of a holiday it will add up with drinks.

Organisation plays no part in it really unless the family who didn't organise it wanted to say they will treat the other family to a meal / drinks as a thank you.

To be honest if you were good enough friends to go on holiday then you should be able to discuss rather than one couple being grumpy.

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2017 20:22

This happened when we went on holiday with family.
They had 3 dc and we had 1. The 2 youngest ( our 1 plus their youngest) were under 2 and usually shared a meal so effectively we had 2.5 meals and they had 4.5 meals. I realised that 2 weeks of this was going to make a huge difference so suggested they pay more each time ( didn't suggest we work things out exactly but that they just chucked a bit more in the pot
Didn't go down well and w edisnt go away with them again.

SomethingBorrowed · 15/04/2017 20:24

Family is 3 is NBU

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 20:29

This is like some people I went out for a drink with once. They and my mates were drinking in rounds (I don't do rounds) and they expected they (as a couple) were counted as one and only paid once per round. Caused hell on. Was a fun night to observe and not be a part of the argument Grin

This is the same really, regardless of how much 10 year old ate.