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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take parcels in for neighbour anymore

56 replies

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 15/04/2017 11:40

Delivery man just knocked on door and asked if I would take a parcel for NDN. I said no and he made me feel like I was being unreasonable. The reasons I don't want to take them anymore are because it's not just a one off, it's at least once a fortnight and NDN is a night shift worker and doesn't end up coming to collect her parcels for at least 5 days. I can knock on the door repeatedly over several days with no answer. I end up with massive boxes cluttering up my utility room or hallway!
AIBU to put a stop to taking her parcels in?

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 15/04/2017 11:55

YANBU

5 days is a pisstake, I take in lots of parcels but they always get collected the same day.

AwkwardSquad · 15/04/2017 11:56

Not unreasonable at all. She can make alternative arrangements if she puts a bit of effort in. We try to get stuff delivered to a collect+ location these days, if it's not Royal Mail in which case we collect from the depot. Or we make arrangements for re-delivery. I hate my parcels being left with neighbours.

Huldra · 15/04/2017 11:57

yanbu if it's causing you problems then say no.

glueandstick · 15/04/2017 11:59

I reckon we get 5/6 a week and they knock at all hours because they want it now now now.

You are not being unreasonable unless your car is a red van, you have a black and white cat and your name is Pat. Then it is your job.

TheNaze73 · 15/04/2017 12:00

YANBU. They're making their problem, your problem

RaeSkywalker · 15/04/2017 12:02

YANBU.

TheElephantofSurprise · 15/04/2017 12:03

Don't take in parcels for neighbours. I wish it was illegal to do so. Neighbours 'take in' things, no card is left, and I never see them.
If a card is left, I phone the courier and make them pick up the parcel and redeliver.

Ellisandra · 15/04/2017 12:04

You don't have to take anything, but personally I'd still take the small stuff. And don't go knocking - let them come to you.

mustiwearabra · 15/04/2017 12:13

YANBU at all. 5-6 a week here for several years (attempts, I didn't always take them), even when I was a shift worker and had a massive bloody sign on the door saying not to disturb. Never got a thank you and it got to the point that certain ones were leaving instructions to leave their parcels with me without even asking. Emailed all the couriers and Royal Mail to say no more.

Branleuse · 15/04/2017 12:19

YANBU, just tell the postman that the last one was left her for 5 days, and your hallway is not a sorting office.

Daisydots · 15/04/2017 12:20

YANBU unless a neighbour comes round to say "I'm really sorry I've ordered something and won't be in" or "it's really important"

unless they've asked first and you've agreed its not your problem.

bugattiveyron · 15/04/2017 12:30

YANBU.
If it's five days though maybe it's because of your different working patterns? We once knocked at a neighbours door three or four times a day for five days to try and get our parcel but they didn't answer, eventually they came round with our parcel and shouted at us for not having bothered to come and collect it. We'd put a note through saying we had come several times (when their car was there) and apologising that we kept missing them and would keep trying but apparently that was very rude.

milpool · 15/04/2017 12:47

Nope, YANBU at all.

The delivery driver was probably just annoyed as chances are they'll be under a shitty "self employed" contract having to make a million deliveries a day for very little money.

Not your fault though!

FishyGill · 15/04/2017 12:50

If a card is left, I phone the courier and make them pick up the parcel and redeliver.

Does this work? We have a genuinely crazy neighbour who once held a parcel hostage because our cat had shit in her garden (which we had no idea had happened).

AwaywiththePixies27 · 15/04/2017 12:51

YNBU.

Just don't answer the door if you're not expecting anyone. They'll soon get the message.

I stopped doing it for my NDN when one once in a whole turned into several times a week when they knew they were going to be out Hmm

I just dont answer the door now unless I'm expecting visitors.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 15/04/2017 13:00

I don't get the angst over taking in parcels unless huge. It's a nice thing to do and helps others out. We seem to be getting very selfish as a society.

TheElephantofSurprise · 15/04/2017 13:38

Does this work?
Yes it does, if you are insistent enough. They aren't supposed to leave your parcels with people unless there is a prior arrangement.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 15/04/2017 13:38

Not unreasonable at all. What if something they ordered got damaged while in your house and the delivery company could show that it was delivered without any damage? Then you would be liable for the cost of replacing it I'm sure.

Put a note on your front door saying that you will only accept deliveries for the occupants of this address and no other address. Then you shouldn't even have to answer the door Smile

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 13:53

We get the for the whole street!

Usually at least one a day. It doesn't bother me as such but one lady we stopped taking them in for as the box came a bit battered and she accused us of doing it...so i told her to fuck off and stay in for her own parcels from now on. Never had a problem with the others and they are always collected 6-7pm

honeypooh2017 · 15/04/2017 13:53

I'm always delighted that my neighbours will take in parcels as we both work full time and can't have things delivered to work. Just because we're not home doesn't mean we can't shop. I do try to order things to come at a weekend but not always possible.

I'd always take in for them but they are retired both sides. We do help one side if needed and keep an eye on the houses when they are away. One is a widow in her 70's so we always keep an eye out on her (she's got lots of family and a better social life than us!)

WeAreEternal · 15/04/2017 13:57

"Sorry I can't, I'm going on holiday this afternoon for two weeks so I wouldn't want to risk them not coming back in time and being unable to retrieve their parcel for over two weeks"

This is my go to response when asked by delivery people to take in parcels for certain neighbours.
I usually avoid the bad attitude and 'you're just trying to make my life awkward' responses.

NurseButtercup · 15/04/2017 15:19

Nope, you're not unreasonable and you don't need to offer any explanation. I order loads online and I'm never home when the deliveries are made. I either choose click and collect option or expect my neighbours to refuse and I go and collect from post office. I'm always eternally grateful if my neighbours accept my delivery. But I don't expect it and have no issue with neighbours declining my parcels. My purchase, my responsibility.

metalmum15 · 15/04/2017 15:28

YANBU. I used to happily take in parcels for neighbours, until it became apparent we were known as the local sorting office. Started ending up with anywhere up to 10 parcels a week, some for neighbours down the street we'd never even spoken to! ! And then half of those neighbours wouldn't bother coming to collect their parcels for several days, so either we'd be tripping over them in our hallway or I had to do the rounds and deliver them.

Now I will only take in for 2 houses, who are also friends. Anybody else, I tell the delivery man a polite but firm no. It is not your responsibility to look after other people's property if they can't be in when things turn up.

metalmum15 · 15/04/2017 15:28

YANBU. I used to happily take in parcels for neighbours, until it became apparent we were known as the local sorting office. Started ending up with anywhere up to 10 parcels a week, some for neighbours down the street we'd never even spoken to! ! And then half of those neighbours wouldn't bother coming to collect their parcels for several days, so either we'd be tripping over them in our hallway or I had to do the rounds and deliver them.

Now I will only take in for 2 houses, who are also friends. Anybody else, I tell the delivery man a polite but firm no. It is not your responsibility to look after other people's property if they can't be in when things turn up.

RedHelenB · 15/04/2017 15:28

Yanbu it's not every day and is a neighbourly thing to do. So glad I love where I do!