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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take parcels in for neighbour anymore

56 replies

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 15/04/2017 11:40

Delivery man just knocked on door and asked if I would take a parcel for NDN. I said no and he made me feel like I was being unreasonable. The reasons I don't want to take them anymore are because it's not just a one off, it's at least once a fortnight and NDN is a night shift worker and doesn't end up coming to collect her parcels for at least 5 days. I can knock on the door repeatedly over several days with no answer. I end up with massive boxes cluttering up my utility room or hallway!
AIBU to put a stop to taking her parcels in?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 15/04/2017 15:29

Sorry YABU

user1489261248 · 15/04/2017 15:45

"Sorry I can't, I'm going on holiday this afternoon for two weeks so I wouldn't want to risk them not coming back in time and being unable to retrieve their parcel for over two weeks"

This. I say I am going away for a week in about an hour and won't be able to give them their parcel.

Although I very rarely answer the door, so I don't get asked too often. It's only if they 'catch' me; like on the drive, in the garage, or pulling up in the car! But when I do get caught, I make an excuse and refuse.

In addition, I have known several cases of people taking parcels in for people, and the person whose parcel it was, contacted the company and claimed they never got it. And as the person who took the parcel in signed for it, the onus was on them. In addition, there is a chance the item could get damaged and you will be blamed. Also, there's the fact that you are obliged to go take it to them, or wait ages for them to come collect it, and feel obliged to chat/offer them a drink and so on.........

Fuck it, I won't take parcels in. On the other hand, I don't expect folk to take them in for me either, so I am within my rights to say no.

I appreciate the job of a delivery driver is not an easy one, and it's long hours and shit pay, and it causes them problems if they cannot deliver the package (or offload it onto a neighbour!)

But that isn't my problem.

user1489261248 · 15/04/2017 16:00

Wanted to add also, that many companies now offer the chance for you to have your packages(s) delivered to Argos or Morrison's or Sainsbury's. Then they keep them for you in a kind of locker or drawer, for you to collect at your leisure. So there's very little excuse to be expecting people to take your packages in.

MiddlingMum · 15/04/2017 16:10

Reading this thread makes me grateful that we live in a friendly road. We happily take in parcels for neighbours and they take in ours. Handing them over is a good chance for a quick chat. I'm not bothered whether they come round to collect them or if we take them round. One of the regular delivery drivers says ours is the nicest road he goes to Smile

DevelopingDetritus · 15/04/2017 16:16

I don't answer the door to randoms.

user1489261248 · 15/04/2017 16:18

Reading this thread makes me grateful that we live in a friendly road. We happily take in parcels for neighbours and they take in ours. Handing them over is a good chance for a quick chat. I'm not bothered whether they come round to collect them or if we take them round.

Good for you @middlingmum And good for your neighbours. I am very pleased for you.

Doesn't mean everyone else has to be the same.

My area is not 'unfriendly.' And if there was an emergency and someone needed help, people would step up.

But the area is full of middle class, professional, and very busy people, who have better things to do than faff around taking in parcels and packages for people who can't be arsed to be in when their parcel is due, or don't have the nouse to have it delivered somewhere like Argos, so they can pick it up at a more convenient time.

One of the regular delivery drivers says ours is the nicest road he goes to

How lovely for him.

PuppyMonkey · 15/04/2017 16:30

Detritus - so you never have anything delivered to your house requiring you to open your door to randoms? Grin

Huldra · 15/04/2017 16:45

I live on a friendly enough street and get on with all my neighbours and there's 4 houses that I happily take in parcels for. It's only 4 now because I got stuck a few times with parcels for others. One person moved before the parcel was delivered, that was interesting to get rid of. Someone else was on holiday for 2 weeks and I ended up with a very bike in my hall until they got back. Another person didn't seem to want to answer their door.

Taking in the occasional package for someone is nice and helpful but it's ok to say no if you're reguarly being put out.

DevelopingDetritus · 15/04/2017 16:46

Puppy I open the door if I'm expecting a parcel to a person holding a parcel, I open the door to the postie, or a neighbour. 99 out of 100 times, if you open the door to a random it's trouble, selling stuff, charities religious peeps etc. I did that for years, then it dawned on me one day, it's my fucking door, if I don't want to open it I don't bloody have to. End of.

Original poster
DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 15/04/2017 17:09

I think the not collecting it for several days is what really annoys me. Fair enough if you work nights, get it delivered for a time when you know you'll be awake. Or wake up for the delivery. I wouldn't order something to be delivered at midnight because I knew id be in bed.

OP posts:
hellejuice91 · 15/04/2017 17:14

We take in for about 5 houses around us. My partner works from home and the delivery drivers have cottoned onto that so we get a lot left for us. We are not bothered as we all do it for each other.

Floggingmolly · 15/04/2017 17:23

No, yanbu. I agreed to take in something for a neighbour a couple of days before Christmas, whereupon the postman starts loading six parcels into the hall.

I thought - oh well, it's only for a couple of hours; but not only were the bloody parcels addressed to four different neighbours, they were all away so the parcels were mine to store for the whole holiday.
Since then I Just Say No.

dotandstripe · 15/04/2017 17:33

YANBU as it's your choice to decline them if you want to.

On my street we all tend to take parcels in for each other - I take quite a lot of next door and she does for me, for some reason even though we're both home a lot we end up being at home for the other's deliveries but not our own. Grin

It's not always possible to be home/arrange to have it sent to Collect+ etc., some companies don't offer that, or you order for delivery when you know you'll be home and the parcel is delayed and comes two days later when you're back at work. Or you order something small that should fit through the letterbox and Amazon decides to send it in a gigantic box...

MiddlingMum · 15/04/2017 17:34

user do you have a problem with my post? Yours seems very rude.

But the area is full of middle class, professional, and very busy people That describes our road. We still have time to be helpful and considerate.

ChristmasFluff · 15/04/2017 17:56

YANBU

I take in for all my neighbours except my one NDN. They are similar to yours - don't come to pick up and don't answer the door when I try to deliver to them - and I know they are in.

They also took in a parcel for me before Christmas and refused to answer the door to give it to me (they were in, and they knew it was me because they looked out the window) until I threatened to call the Police. They don't answer the door to the postman if he knocks early in the morning, so I was getting up at weekends to take in parcels for them when they were in themselves! So Postie now knows to not even ask me. Other carriers I say, 'no, sorry, they take the piss'.

There is parcel etiquette - if someone does you the favour of taking in your parcel, you should retrieve it as soon as you are able without inconveniencing them (calling at 2am for example). It should not be up to the person who has taken in the parcel to chase you down. If a person cannot comply with that, then why do the favour?

CaptainHammer · 15/04/2017 18:04

I don't take them in for one side of us anymore. Used to at least twice a week but they got to the point where they never even thanked me, just buzzed my buzzer and grunted parcel at me.
I just say no I can't take them and that's it, think they've realised now as I haven't been buzzed for a few weeks.

I never say I can't take them because I'm going on holiday, always paranoid they will come back and try to rob an empty house (I'm aware this is very highly unlikely but someone mentioned it once and now I can't say it!)

Batteriesallgone · 15/04/2017 18:07

I take in for all my neighbours but there is one I'm seriously considering refusing for next Christmas. Tardy getting their parcels, no apologies, no thanks. Standing in my doorway huffing and puffing like I'm a bloody sorting office.

You are under no obligation to take in parcels if you don't want to.

Meekonsandwich · 15/04/2017 18:13

Once a fortnight wouldn't be an issue at all for me.

But if it's big, then I'd say no thanks, try someone else.

Once I ordered a whole roll of lino for our spare room and it came earlier than it was supposed to and got delivered to our opposite neighbours!!!! I felt awful! It took up their whole hall way!!! I made sure nothing got delivered to them again so they didn't think we were taking the pee !

Collaborate · 15/04/2017 19:02

There is parcel etiquette - if someone does you the favour of taking in your parcel, you should retrieve it as soon as you are able without inconveniencing them (calling at 2am for example). It should not be up to the person who has taken in the parcel to chase you down. If a person cannot comply with that, then why do the favour?

This works for me. 2 strikes and you're out.

AdoraBell · 15/04/2017 19:06

What Branleuse'said.

bugattiveyron · 16/04/2017 14:03

The people who live over the road from us (quiet, rural lane) have gone on holiday as far as I can tell - we've not seen them for days. Now they have had two parcels delivered which have been left on their doorstep; the neighbours who have a key to their house are at home rather than on holiday but haven't done anything with the parcels. I've been wondering whether to take them in and put a note through the door but we aren't on speaking terms usually. WWYD?

thenightsky · 16/04/2017 14:19

I've currently got a big parcel for over the road. They've been away since Friday morning.

Worse is I had a lovely huge bouquet of flowers left with me for next door on Thursday, with attached birthday card. Must have cost a fortune. They went away Thursday lunchtime, about an hour before the flowers came. Don't know when they'll be back. Flowers are looking a bit sad now.

Batteriesallgone · 16/04/2017 15:02

bug I'd knock on the door of the neighbour with the key and offer to put the parcels in my house if they don't have space, and say oh I wanted to check it would be alright to move them or something like that.

notangelinajolie · 16/04/2017 15:25

I will only take a parcel if the neighbour has asked me to. Surely if someone has ordered something and isn't in to receive it it is because they are happy to go and collect the parcel themselves from the depot at a time more convenient to them. If it is not your parcel - you should not take it.

beargrass · 16/04/2017 15:29

YANBU. Before mat leave, I used to stipulate where parcels could be left so we didn't end up annoying our neighbours.

And if something had gone next door, we were straight round at a social hour to get it. Leaving it days / not answering the door is taking the piss