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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have been up all night worrying about DS

27 replies

pyjamapyjama · 09/04/2017 06:40

I've had about half an hours sleep last night. Had a really intense feeling yesterday evening that something bad was going to happen to my son who's 10 weeks old. So I just sat watching him all night to make sure he didn't stop breathing. Anytime I did drift off for a few minutes I woke up and started to panic, couldn't breathe, heart pounding and tingly hands.

This is the 3rd time in 2 weeks I've had a night like this, I've never really been an anxious person before, don't know if this is something that happens to alot of people

OP posts:

EsmesBees · 09/04/2017 06:44

You poor thing. I think a trip to the GP is in order. There is much more recognition of post natal anxiety than there used to be.

kkkkaty123 · 09/04/2017 06:46

I never had anxiety until I had dc. Especially newborns, they are so delicate aren't they. This is quite and anxious time for parents, is this your first ? You'll probably get some better advice coming along but your definitely not the only mum to feel this way. Speak to your hv or doc. Whoever you see first. Has anything happened to make you feel this way ? What do you think would relax you more ? I always found night times to be the worst for some reason xxx

Original poster

pyjamapyjama · 09/04/2017 06:54

katy yes he's my first. I don't know if last night in particular was because a few nights ago I woke up to find that he'd wriggled up to the top of his crib and his head was facing upwards towards the top. I don't have any bumpers of anything on the crib but it made me so worried incase he wriggled up and banged his head xx

OP posts:

SorrelSoup · 09/04/2017 06:57

Post natal anxiety is a massive thing. I got antidepressants and cbt. Absolutely brilliant. It's not sustainable staying up all night watching a baby. I would seek help from your gp and ring iapt.

snapcrap · 09/04/2017 06:58

It's hard to know whether this is normal new parent anxiety (we have all been there, tortured by worse case scenario thoughts, I'm afraid it just comes with the territory) or PND. I would definitely talk to your health visitor or GP - make an appointment tomorrow. Sorry you are feeling like this x

Fitzsimmons · 09/04/2017 07:01

Sorry you had a rough night

I had postnatal anxiety. CBT sorted it for me. You need to get on top of it sooner rather than later because it can become very consuming. Speak to your GP asap. In the meantime, try to remember that babies are pretty robust. He's unlikely to injure himself by bumping his head in the cot. If it helps, my husband dropped our DD at 10 weeks and she's fine!

NeverMetACakeIDidntLike · 09/04/2017 07:03

I went from being a very solid, rational person, to being a sobbing, emotional mess when I had my first.

If you have a helpful HV then I'd say get an appointment with her - as they can help with anxiety (and also SIDS guidelines if you're really worried about that). If your HV isn't much cop then get a GP appointment. If you're not sleeping, it's going to make you feel even worse and more anxious. Do you have an understanding partner, mum or friend you could talk to too?

It's really common and really horrible to feel stressed, anxious or down after you've had a new baby - so there's lots of help out there

OwlinaTree · 09/04/2017 07:07

I was very worried about leaving the baby to sleep. I had an angel care monitor which bleeps if they stop breathing. Is that an option for you?

Sunshinegirl82 · 09/04/2017 07:10

I would echo seeing your health visitor or GP. I've found I've been much more anxious since being pregnant and having ds.

A couple of things that helped me were, putting him in a sleepyhead as then he couldn't wriggle up or down the crib, putting him in a sleeping bag rather than blankets and getting a video monitor with a breathing sensor.

It has got easier as he's got bigger (9 months now) I calmed down a lot once he could roll over. I hope you feel better soon and congratulations on your baby!

IBelieveInPink · 09/04/2017 07:13

I had post natal anxiety. Or I should say, I still regularly feel anxious, it hasn't gone, but I think this is because I didn't get proper help early on. I spoke to hv and gp, but they weren't particularly helpful and I didn't push it (I didn't know better, thought I could just get on with it).
Please speak to someone. And shout till you get some help. It's would allow you to do focus your energies on precious time with your lovely son.
and congratulations. 10 weeks is still very new, look after yourself

Redyellowpinkblue · 09/04/2017 07:19

I never had anxiety till I had dd1. I found that buying a Snuza Go nappy monitor really helped as it clips to baby's nappy and beeps loudly if no movement/breathing is detected after 15 seconds or something like that. Knowing that I had a monitor on dd allowed me to relax a bit and with support and professional advice I was ok and my anxiety was manageable.
I'm just about to have DD2 and we've just bought another Snuza as I'm sure it will happen again but it's one little thing that really helps.

Iambubbles86 · 09/04/2017 07:26

Please please please go see gp, I'm currently off work with anxiety as I've left it so long to get help (6 years). I got to the point where I was checking kids heart rates breathing rates temperatures about 15 times a night, bought a saturation monitor to check their oxygen levels, checking their skin over and analysing every bruise and patch of dry skin, any slight imperfection in my children I viewed as an indicator of a serious illness, please Dont become like me, its ruining my life and its ruining theirs. Sorry to be a drama queen here but you really don't want to risk becoming like this, get help while its early days!

user789653241 · 09/04/2017 07:27

I was like this when my ds was a baby. It's very natural, I think.

Can you have his cot right next to your bed?

Supermagicsmile · 09/04/2017 07:30

I was like this. Something that helped me massively was getting an alarm under the mattress so if anything happened, it would tell me. Changed my life. We used angelcare and it was around £100 but best money I ever spent!!

flumpybear · 09/04/2017 07:35

Firstly if you're feeling anxious, open the window and take big deep breaths - I find it helps as do others.
Secondly, see your GP and tell your HV too.
Thirdly, you're not alone - lots of us suffer with anxiety, mine has come from having kids and worrying I'll die, or they'll die. I even bought a breathing monitor when I had my second baby to help give me peace of mind to sleep
Fourthly, lack of sleep makes you fee so much worse so take professional advice adap

Areyoufree · 09/04/2017 07:38

I was very anxious, but not to the level of sitting up all night. I agree with PPs who have suggested you speak to your GP or health visitor. Especially as your baby is now 10 weeks old. Hope you find a solution, OP, that sounds really tough.

thecatsarecrazy · 09/04/2017 07:40

I have 3 children, when my first were babies I was always checking they were still breathing. My 3rd ds has a floppy larynx and 90% of the time makes a squeak so I can hear he's ok. When he goes quiet I panic

chocolatespiders · 09/04/2017 07:41

You poor thing, you are going to struggle today. Have you got a partner to take the load today so you can rest?

When mine were babies I had a mat that went under the mattress that was a sensor. If they had of stopped breathing an alarm would have gone off. Could you buy something like that for piece of mind?

kkkkaty123 · 09/04/2017 07:44

I new you would get some good advice and I think this thread will show you that you are not alone. As pp have said you really need to be sleeping when ds is. Tiredness is awful and can make everything appear much worse. I think with anxieties you have this horrible voice in your head telling you what if this or that happens. And your good sense voice becomes less vocal iyswim. For example you were worried about ds hurting his little head wriggling in the cot, but there is no way he could seriously damage his head doing this. Plz see doc and get a handle on it now. I never had the breathing monitors but if you think that would relax you maybe its something to think about. You'll be ok but do seek help

kkkkaty123 · 09/04/2017 07:45

Thecatsarecrazy my bf ds had a floppy larynx. He's totally grown out of it now

dontbesillyhenry · 09/04/2017 07:46

Been there not so long back.
In my rational mind now I can only echo what everyone else has said- but remember that awful panicky heart racing cold clammy worry that baby would die.
I did get an angelcare but must warn it can cause additional anxiety especially if the 15 second warning alarm goes off

Whatsername17 · 09/04/2017 07:50

My sil suffered with post partum anxiety and was prescribed a low dose anti depressant which helped enormously. With dd1 - I became obsessed with germs. Id wash, cold water sterilise and then heat sterilise every bottle. We'd go through reams of kitchen roll and dettol. I wish I or someone else had recognised I needed a bit of help so that I could enjoy my baby. It isn't worth powering through this - go to the GP and be honest. Also consider a movement monitor. Mine helps me sleep with dd2.

purplecoathanger · 09/04/2017 07:51

I had post natal anxiety and it's horrible. Do see your GP, it isn't normal and you need help.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/04/2017 07:54

💐🍫 anxiety is horrible, really horrible.

Are you generally getting any sleep? Are you eating and drinking?

What support do you have?

Please, do NOT put bumpers in his cot. If he wiggles up & bangs his head, he's not going to do himself any harm, none. Bumpers on the other hand, can kill. Any kind. Really, don't use them or anything else inside his cot. Definitely not a pillow or anything. A small tap to his head which he will barely feel is far preferable to the dangers of soft things in babies beds.

Silver lining...he's given you a warning about how mobile he is, so you'll need to watch putting him on your bed or a changing table.

My Mum kept a small mirror beside my cot so if she couldn't see me/hear me breathing she could check without waking me. 😊 No one needs to do that now, I developed a fog horn warning system! 😂

He's tiny, he's new, he's your first - you'll get through this.

I hope you have someone to look after you both today & allow you to get some sleep. Sleep, food & lots of water etc - it'll help.

See your GP when you can.

💐🍫☕️

TynesideBlonde · 09/04/2017 07:56

I had intrusive thoughts when my first was tiny. I was able to recognise I was on super high alert for danger and it slowly wore off. It happened again with my second but to a lesser extent. As other posters have said it is worth discussing with your HV; some talking therapy will help you frame the thoughts.

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