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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why can't people just be quiet?!

53 replies

Janey50 · 02/04/2017 18:42

Not so much an AIBU but just need to vent. I was sitting in my usual coffee shop and after half an hour had to move because of a girl on the next table's screeching laugh shattering my eardrums every 30 seconds. It wasn't just occasionally,it was every other thing she or her 2 companions said had to be accompanied by a high pitched screech of laughter. So I moved a comfortable distance away,only to have the woman on the next table start watching a TV programme on her tablet,with the volume up really loud. Haven't these people ever heard of earphones?! Am I just getting grouchy as I get older or do some people have absolutely no consideration of how their noise impacts on other people?

OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 02/04/2017 18:44

Some people have no idea how loud they are.
I can remember having a romantic meal out with dh when we were still dating and having to shout regularly over the hysterical drunken laughter from the next table.

Itaintme · 02/04/2017 18:46

If you want to sit in silence don't go to a coffee shop.

SuperPug · 02/04/2017 18:46

Yes, yes and yes.
You would think that headphones had been banned, going into most places.

SuperPug · 02/04/2017 18:47

Don't think anyone expects silence, just courtesy towards others? I don't think it's necessary to listen to something without headphones if you're in public and it's of no interest to them?

Goldfishjane · 02/04/2017 18:49

I wonder this all the time OP
I much prefer having people round than going to coffee shops and pubs for exactly this reason.

Original poster
Janey50 · 02/04/2017 18:50

You can say that again. There's a woman regularly comes into this coffee shop and I dread her sitting within 10 yards of me because she has one of those voices that just seems to penetrate your ears.She obviously has no idea how loud she is. After sitting near her for half an hour I can feel my eardrums 'shuddering' iyswim.

OP posts:
Original poster
Janey50 · 02/04/2017 18:52

I don't expect to sit in total silence by any means! I just want to be able to hear myself think or talk to my friend without shouting!

OP posts:
Sprog19 · 02/04/2017 18:53

I know just what you mean OP and it's not a question of wanting to sit in silence. There's a big difference between a volume of voice that intrudes into your own space and a buzz of conversation that doesn't. DH and I had a rare two night break away recently and our evening meal was accompanied by a woman on the next table who just had her volume turned up too loud. It wasn't as if she was saying anything annoying and she seemed perfectly nice - but she obviously had no idea that her voice was carrying so much and getting in the way of other people's conversations. I've got a naturally loud voice that gets louder when I'm excited or enthusiastic about something but I don't do it ALL the time!

Gingernaut · 02/04/2017 18:55

I was trapped on a National Express bus with a mother and a small child AND HIS MUSICAL TOY.

He repeatedly smacked the button to play the intro to a piece of music bit just that.

Over and over again, the same intro but never the tune.

Four and a half hours of this with the mother tuned out and doing the "No speak English" routine to anyone who complained.

That journey, I made the decision to wear ear plugs AND wear headphones for every journey.

It's bliss.

TheoriginalLEM · 02/04/2017 18:59

We walked out of a coffee shop due to a screeching baby yesterday. We hadn't ordered and it was making my ears hurt. Not the parents' fault but owwwww so we left and went over the road. HAd we ordered i would have grinned and bore it but we made a hasty exit.

Nquartz · 02/04/2017 19:05

A woman used to sit near me at work who had toe loudest laugh. You could hear her for miles, it was very distracting & particularly bad if you were on the phone.
The 2 hours her & her team spent doing secret santa drove everyone around me spare.
I think a lot of people are generally oblivious but surely the woman with the iPad knew that everyone else wouldn't want to listen to her tv show!

Babyroobs · 02/04/2017 19:12

I was just sitting here wondering how small children can be so incredibly loud ! Next door neighbours kids screaming/ squealing for hours on end, day in day out.
Of course I don't expect kids to play in silence but the constant screaming is really winding me up.

Chottie · 02/04/2017 19:15

OP - I feel your pain.

My NDN has a friend that DH and I call :hyena woman". It just awful when hyena woman comes round in the summer, sits in NDN's garden and drinks and the noise level ramps up and up...........

MudCity · 02/04/2017 19:16

I'm with you OP. Similar experience in a coffee shop...shouty woman telling her friends all sorts of stuff I didn't want to hear. Do these people never get told to pipe down? Irritating to the extreme.

JonesyAndTheSalad · 02/04/2017 19:16

I agree OP. I can't stand thoughtless noise.

We have guests staying with us...a Father and his DD. She is 14. He usually lives alone and she lives with her Mum.

They are SO LOUD!

I can only think it's because they're not used to living with many or any other people.

I've just been woken up...it's 3.30 am here...by the DD talking on her phone! In full, day time voice!

DavidPuddy · 02/04/2017 19:16

Just bear in mind that people who speak loudly may be deaf and may not realise that their volume is at variance to your wishes.

Cannot bear an attention-seeking laugh, however.

Jiggaminny · 02/04/2017 19:23

Mayb iPad woman had it on loud to drown out the volume from that other person too :D

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 02/04/2017 19:28

YANBU! Some people really must be oblivious of how loud they are, but you'd think someone would have told them at some point - family, friends, colleagues...

People who watch things/allow their DC to watch things without headphones in public will be first up against the wall come the Revolution.

MargaretCavendish · 02/04/2017 19:34

I think these two things are quite different. Screechy laugh woman probably didn't realise she was bothering anyone: it probably doesn't sound loud to her, it's almost certainly a reflex that she does without thinking (quite possibly as a nervous tic), and someone telling her would probably be embarrassing and upsetting for her. No one chooses to have a shrill or annoying voice or laugh. iPad woman, however - well, fuck iPad woman.

Goldfishjane · 02/04/2017 19:34

Hedgehog "People who watch things/allow their DC to watch things without headphones in public will be first up against the wall come the Revolution."

good plan!

btw I'm known for being thrifty tight but even I have got noise cancelling earphones for my commute. Some people are loud enough to beat them but generally they're quite good.

MaidenMotherCrone · 02/04/2017 19:37

YANBU Op.

I've just spent 12 hours with two Thai ladies on my left and two Lithuanian ladies on my right. Carrying on two conversations in their respective languages at shouting level. They did not stop for breath. What could anyone talk about for 12 hrs solid. 12 bloody hours. My ears are hurting, really hurting.

I'm now in the bath and I Ben the water is too loud😟

ifcatscouldtalk · 02/04/2017 19:38

I try to be tolerant as the world is noisy but i know where your coming from. I spent all day doing my garden and commented to my husband that the nicest part was none of the neighbours were in their gardens.Grin.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 02/04/2017 19:40

We were driven out of our local when the builders started drinking there. They just shouted to each other at full voice as if they were still on the building site with all the background noise. They were 't being agressive or nasty, just talking at full volume..

user1489677782 · 02/04/2017 19:45

I was in a food takeaway place in a coastal town. This place does some very specific foods which I require for health reasons. There were 2 mums with 3 children. The noise was deafening! Every customer and the staff were struggling to cope with the amount of noise. I was concerned in case they had not heard that I required very specific foods. This place operate a number system. They give a ticket when ordering and call out that number when the food is ready. The staff were having difficulty being heard and had to make repeated calls to give over the food. The customer area in this place is about 8 ft. by 6 ft. There were about 3 men, these 2 mums with their 3 daughters and me.
Did you think I was going to say it was the daughters making all the noise? No they were disregarded as much as the other customers were as they tried to speak to the mums but were told to be quiet the mums were talking. That was not talking. It was shouting rather than talking. They were not arguing just holding a conversation. The noise was unbelievable. The fryers were going full on. People were making orders, staff were trying to take telephone orders.

It was so selfish and entitled behaviour by the mums who were so much more important than their daughters, the other customers and the staff and business owners.
I was there house hunting. I have been a bit put off by this conduct.
I didn't expect silence just conversation at a normal level so that the business could run properly.

GloriaV · 02/04/2017 19:51

People used to lower their voices to talk when in public places like trains, now people raise their voices so everyone can hear what a fun, eventful, exciting life they lead Hmm

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