To have been pissed off by this?

[Justofftotheshops]

My sister invited close family member out this weekend as was going to see an events with big group of friends. I had organised it. Family member rattled off everything else she was doing that weekend, she said she would see

I cooly said it was fine, I was going with a big group and just to let me know... normally would have fallen over myself saying doesn't worry at all, not to rush etc etc. She is a bit like an older sister to me - both 20s, no kids.

She seemed bit taken aback by my reaction

Why would you be pissed off.

Seems like a real non event to me. Family member is invited, not sure if they can make it. End of discussion. Cannot see the issue here at all.

It was the way she approached it - listing off loads of events in a really undcessary way. As if I would be decestated she couldn't make it? Just a bit ostentatious

Maybe she was listing all the events so you wouldn't think she was waiting to see if she'd get a better offer? If someone said "I'm not sure because of x, y and z" I'd be happier than if they said "I'm not sure, I'll think about it". Though to be fair "I'll think about it" would only bother me if I was in a "needing a decision to organise my own life" mood.
I don't see a problem

I'm confused....

Not seeing the issue here

Eh? What's the issue?

An alternative reading of the situation is that the family member doesn't want to come, and feels like she needs a good excuse (i.e. busy doing all these things) to decline the invitation.

What??

Sounds like she a bit miffed that your response was very much casual. Good on you. Self important people do my head in. Don't chase her either. Either she graces you with her presence or you'll be having fun with other friends.

Eh?

I think you're reading a bit too much into things here OP.

I would usually say what I was actually planning on doing instead, just so the person asking wouldn't think I was BSing them.

She's basically saying what she is thinking by the sounds of it. In other words, recalling her plans aloud. I do it all the time because I have a crap memory. I know there's something on, but have struggle to remember what.

I Don't understand, what's the actual problem?

If she's so close to you, why wasn't she originally invited, is it that she feels left out and as though your Sister asked her as an afterthought?

So someone got invited somewhere and they declined? What's the issue?

I really don't see what the issue is?

Another not getting it

Don't understand the problem either.
You organized something. Your sister invited family member.
Family member already had a lot on.
End of story.

I'm missing the point?

I know someone like this. In her case, it's about making it very clear that you are well down her priority list for activities, just in case you were lingering under the impression that she would, well, like to spend time with you. It pisses me off. It's become a self fulfilling prophecy for her too, as she no longer gets invited out much because everyone assumes she's got more exciting things to do.

I presume there's a back story where you make the effort and she plays it cool and busy busy? If so then yes, it's probably time to step back a bit.

"Yorick, do you want to join us at the pub on Sunday evening?"

"Ooh, that sounds lovely. Only thing is, I've got to write up a report for work. I've got the baby by myself all day on Saturday and on Sunday I've got a hair appointment and I'm taking my mother food shopping, so it depends on whether I can get it done on Saturday evening. But I'll let you know as soon as I can. Thanks very much."

Is that rude? It's amazing anyone still talks to me.

Eh? I think she was right that you really wanted her to go though wasn't she?

I don't understand what the problem is - is it cos I is thick?