to be annoyed that I have to go to 2 weddings the weekend Harry Potter is released?

[Fonk]

I mean, fgs, they must have know it'd be released in july or thereabouts.

My MIL has placed a ban on me reading through bil's service and I just KNOW my mother is going to say the same (other wedding is cousin, have been 3 line whipped into going)

Both weddings are HOURS long, and I doubt I'll be able to find a dress with a big enough pocket for the book. Looks like dd will be out of nappies too, fgs, so there's THAT excuse gone.

so

AIBU?

(oh its filly btw)

could you fake flu? I would!

Message withdrawn

Offer to do a reading at each ceremony, then insist on reading the entire book out loud?

pmsl

my god though MIL would kill me

Get a spoken book and hide headphones under a very large hat/hairdo.

Hmmm....they don't release the audiobooks until after the hardbacks though - probably scared Stephen Fry will give it all away on QI!

Message withdrawn

That's annoying.

Are they church weddings? Could you replace the book cover with a Bible one and then appear very prayerful whilst reading throughout the service Personally I'd probably start some rumours about the bride or groom in the hope that they'll call the whole thing off.

I thought this would be you

Hmm I agree with cod but must correct you on the potty training thing. Instead of a big bag of nappies you will be carrying a big bag of pants/socks etc and having to take DD to the toilet really often.

FJ - you a HP fan too? (we seem to have tons in common )

I'm counting down the weeks lol. Dh's birthday is when it gets released. He's getting a copy (as am I lol)

Message withdrawn

ok email me your mobile phone number and I will read you a chapter over the phone every hour .

Yes, because HP books are shite.

It may not be on audio book at the same time BUT, I reakon that between us, if we started at midnight, we could record, say, a couple of chapters each. Then, we could work out who lives the furthest from you and they could zig zag up the country to yours, collecting tapes along the way, be there for breakfast on the 21st. Job done!

Yes of course you are being unreasonable (I suspect you are only joking but just in case you are not). It will only be two days out of your Harry Potter obsession. You can start reading on the Monday and you will probably still finish it before me and my interminably slow reading!

Why would an adult read Harry Potter?

To keep abreast of their children Xenia!

(Then they get hooked and can't help reading more!)

Enjoy the weddings! And you've got HP to look forward to on Monday.

Failing that you say to bride/groom/vicar/mother of bride "I'll be bringing dd - she's doing really well with her potty training, although she's not quite got the hang of poos yet. It's a shame because they are really offensively smelly, and they do tend to go EVERYWHERE, but at least there's only one a day. You don't mind do you?"

nonono cod not sad, HAPPY

for HP is nearly released

3 and a bit shortish months

pmsl at idea I might wait til monday to read it

oh yes, thats going to happy

The only solution to your problem is to ensure neither wedding takes place.

Which groom will you be seducing first?

ewwww

you have not met these men, wt

eeeeew

oh one of them is my cousin too-isn't that illegal

might have to seduce the brides i suppose

Now there's a thought FJ! And imagine, after you have seduced the lovelies, had the weddings cancelled, and finished HP7 by Saturday night, you can sell your story to one of those women's mags!

How about phoning the day before to tell them about your ongoing digestive problems, about how embarrassing it is to have no control over the noises and smells, but as they are family you're sure they will understand....