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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask about party invite etiquette?

48 replies

cjt110 · 01/03/2017 08:21

DS is 2.5. Goes to nursery 2 days a week. Got there this morning and there is a party invite from a child named X to celebrate his second birthday at a local leisure centre kids play area.

I dont know the child in question and haven't ever heard of them. I don't know any of the parents other than a passing "Hello" at drop off/pick up.

The invite says to RSVP by text with the parents name and number.

Do we go or not? I would feel a bit awkward not really knowing anyone but would feel mean on my son if he misses out. If we don't go, what do we say on the RSVP?

Thanks

OP posts:
Palegreenstars · 01/03/2017 08:22

Could you ask the nursery if the kids are friendly?

SavageBeauty73 · 01/03/2017 08:22

Go! Isn't it a chance to meet other parents?

SaucyJack · 01/03/2017 08:22

I'm assuming you'd be expecting to stay with him at that age.

I don't understand why you wouldn't go if you're not busy, and you think your son would enjoy going to a party with his friends.

It's not for your benefit :-)

Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 01/03/2017 08:24

Go. It's a chance for you and dc to form friendships

Only1scoop · 01/03/2017 08:24

Dd had a birthday at 3 and we asked nursery for a list of 10 DC she plays with to invite to a farm party....we knew about 2 of them.
It's fine.

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 08:31

Oh thanks for all your replies. I don't think we are busy that weekend so yes, it would be good I'm sure. I wasn't sure if it was the done thing if you don't know the parents/children. Plus I suffer from anxiety and sometimes don't always assess the situation in a rational way!

OP posts:
esiotrot2015 · 01/03/2017 08:32

Go! Isn't it a chance to meet other parents?

Exactly !
This is how it starts op this is how you make connections for you & your ds Smile

Floggingmolly · 01/03/2017 08:34

Most of the others won't know each other either.

harderandharder2breathe · 01/03/2017 08:34

Go! You'll be expected to stay so use it as a chance to meet the other parents. It's about your DS having fun not about you.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 01/03/2017 08:39

Glad you're going to go. The dc will enjoy it and don't care if the parents know each other or not. I've accepted several invitations like this for dd and it's been a great way to meet parents as I'm not originally from this area. I noticed some of the parents arranging the parties appear to be inviting people beyond their immediate circle for that reason too, so it's a win win.

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 08:39

Thanks for the encouragement all. :)

OP posts:
IamFriedSpam · 01/03/2017 09:34

Glad you're going to go. Lots of kids at 2 don't really have friends so just have a party with a gaggle of kids the same age. I'm sure your DS will have fun at the soft play. I do dread going to birthday parties but at least they're only short!

SEsofty · 01/03/2017 09:37

It's a chance to start to make friends with parents. Party is as much for parents as children at that age and all the parents will stay

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 10:08

What do we take? A gift? Food?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 01/03/2017 10:17

" I wasn't sure if it was the done thing if you don't know the parents/children."

They wouldn't have invited you if they weren't serious about wanting your son to attend. Promise!

A gift definitely is the norm, but turning up with food is absolutely not for a kids' school/nursery party.

Hope you have a good time x

SaucyJack · 01/03/2017 10:20

Also, make sure you're not hungry yourself just in case they're not catering for parents.

99.9/100 there'll be party food for the kids at least. You (parents) may get leftovers, but you may not.

Lapinlapin · 01/03/2017 10:20

Yep, just go! You just need to text back saying "thanks for the invitation. Ds would love to come."
It's usual to take a present and card, but not food.

We're going to a similar party this weekend. I haven't a clue who the child is, but my 3 year old will have fun and I'll have the chance to chat with some of the other parents.

TeenAndTween · 01/03/2017 10:20

A small generic gift ~£3-£6.

firawla · 01/03/2017 10:24

I would go. Once you get to reception youll get lots like this as parents do whole class parties, so you don't always know the child or family well but parties do help to get to know them

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 10:37

Fab. Thanks all :)

I will RSVP later today. At least I know the child is a boy! That should give me some ideas as to what to get :)

OP posts:
witsender · 01/03/2017 10:39

I always just text back, "hi, it's Wits, MiniWit's mum. Thanks so much for the invite, she'd love to come" or whatever. So they know your name, which child is coming etc.

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 10:40

Thats Wits - Was wondering what you write! I must say, they must know my son, or have asked for kids names as my son's name, whilst a popular one, is spelt slightly differently (Usual spelling ends IE and his is EY) and it was spelt correctly.

OP posts:
JonesyAndTheSalad · 01/03/2017 10:51

OP I also have anxiety....so I understand. However...this is a good thing...it's your child's first proper party invitation! Grin It's lovely. But you will be sick of them in about two years time!

JonesyAndTheSalad · 01/03/2017 10:51

OP they probably asked the nursery for a list of the children in their child's room. x

Original poster
cjt110 · 01/03/2017 10:54

JonesyAndTheSalad I was really giddy when I saw what it was! :)

OP posts: