To think that you would be crazy to ask a question here?

[PositivePeggyNans]

There are some lovely MN posters, but from what I can see at least 75% of people seem to come on here to argue.

Most threads end up with the entire group turning on the OP.

It is a shame we can't help each other without all the negativity most times

I am going to Aldi, what shall I buy ?

Sod what your buying Anyfucker, let's get to the nitty gritty, how do you intend to park?

Not that Ive seen

Peggy I think that most replies are valid, just because you are not all singing on from same hymn sheet does not invalidate the posts.

Yawn. Again?

Always been so.

There are some abrasive posters who I enjoy but the ones that come on just to put the boot in multiply month on month.

For long time MNs I'm guessing this is old news and probably gets said often.
I quickly came to realise that AIBU is just a game to some people. Haven't yet learned all the rules yet and I don't intend to because it can get toxic in here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2859831-to-think-some-people-just-come-on-here-to-argue?pg=1

There'll always be people who revel in bun fights and disagreeing with others, You dont just get them online, but, I'm sure We all know someone like that IRL.
On the whole, though. I believe people are compassionate about their views. Just because someone thinks differently to you doesn't make them a troll.

I've asked loads of questions on MN. Sometimes I get brilliant answers, sometimes nothing much, but I never get beaten up. However I can't remember the last time I asked a question on AIBU - I think that the last time I did I was deleted .

There are some people who could start an argument in an empty room.

You do see them on here, but there are plenty of decent people too.

I think it's mainly when the OP is itself massively rude and judgy about someone that people who disagree are judgy back e.g. "AIBU to think the bride and groom who didn't invite my children to their wedding are mean spirited scum whose marriage will fail as they clearly fail to realise that it's the marriage not the wedding that's important blah blah".

Whereas if people say "not sure how I should respond to this invitation, what do you think MN?" then fewer people will pounce on them.

Also there's chat and other boards to post on - AIBU is there so people can snark!

You aren't unreasonable. These people who are just itching for a fight, who are just plain scathing and dismissive- if you meet them on the street they will be meek as a church mouse...all this bravado only online.

AIBU has a fearsome reputation but I've found it to be OK. You just have to start a thread with an open mind and not expect everyone to fawn over you or agree with your standpoint.

There is never any excuse for abusive or rude posts, but a straight-talking post can actually be very helpful. Sometimes you just need a bit of honesty that isn't sugar-coated.

I don't think most people come here to argue. I think most people come here for company, to chat, and to debate. Which is definitely not the same as arguing.

sonyaya there's a bit of that but there are also many many horrible examples where a clearly vulnerable poster is piled on purely for entertainment.

I think in the old days when 'twas all fields the number of posters was so much smaller that people got to know individual posting styles and so there was more accountability. Although people did name change they often remained identifiable.

YABU , IMO.

I think you can expect honest answers here, as others have said, that does not mean people are 'turning on the op', it means they are getting honest opinions from a massive range of people they dont know. I presume that is why people ask on the internet - so they get more honest opinions and a range of different views. If you want people to pat you on the head and tell you everything is fine then you ask a friend in real life.

"Most threads end up with the entire group turning on the OP."
Can't say that's my experience of MN. It happens sometimes, but not most times.

A poorly worded OP can really piss people off to the extent that they focus on that rather than the actual problem. I always try to be measured, but have to admit that sometimes I am a little more direct than I would be in RL.

Also I think a lot depends on subsequent posts by the OP. If they take opinions on board or not, drip feeding etc.

I disagree. Most threads do not end up turning on the OP.

If a poster is behaving badly generally they get called on it - sometimes the person being taken to task for their bad behaviour happens to be the OP.

A sensible OP having been flamed, metaphorically holds up their hands, apologies for being silly and Thanks posters for their input.

MN isn't all about patting each other on the head and telling each other we're great Mums/wives/partners/sisters/friends or DILs. There are other sites for that.

It's about asking for opinions/advice/experience/a hand to hold/a kick up the arse and getting a honest answer - thebkind your friends and family are too polite to give you.

Can you smoke in the aldi p&c places anyfucker?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

Welcome to the vipers nest.

YANBU, Often people seem come and kick the boot in about a totally irrelevant issue too or just in a really insensitive way. I think it's fine to disagree with the OP (that's the point of having a discussion) but why do people have to be so nasty sometimes about how they bring it up. I also think once a thread turns against the OP more and more people enjoy piling in even when they have nothing constructive to add.