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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain about over-zealous IDing?

66 replies

Tabbylady · 19/02/2017 15:04

I'm in my 30s. I accept I look young for my age and carry my driving licence.

Yesterday afternoon I was in a supermarket picking up some bits for family tea and 2 bottles of beer (DH and I planning a wild evening!).

Cashier asked for my ID. I handed her my licence.

Cashier: Well this doesn't look like you
Me: Yeah I know, bit of a hairstyle change! (I had brown hair, now blonde)
Her: raises eyebrows keeps staring at ID
Me: Erm, do you want me to give you my details off it? It IS me!
Her: Well you could have just memorised that
Me: OK. All the cards in my purse have the same name on them. You can check the card I'm paying with so it all matches.
Her: Well that might not even be your purse
Me: Right. (voice getting slightly raised) So you're accusing me of stealing someone's purse so that I can illegally buy two bottles of beer??
Her: Well I have to ask if I'm suspicious!!
Me: Yes I understand that and I'm happy to give you ID, but you're saying you don't believe it's me and you don't believe the cards I'm using are mine. Surely you should now be phoning the police, or just the manager?

Her: Eh, no, but I can't serve you the beer

Appalled by this logic fail on her part, I walked out of the supermarket leaving the stuff there. I felt a bit bad about that, but she'd only scanned one thing before the beers.

I have no issue showing ID but I'm still pretty annoyed at basically being accused of being a thief! Would it be unreasonable to contact them and complain? I'm quite embarrassed at the thought of going in there again!

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 19/02/2017 15:07

Well what else is she supposed to do ?

Wishforsnow · 19/02/2017 15:09

I would be pissed off. How ridiculous. She was clearly just being an arse on purpose

Jaimx86 · 19/02/2017 15:09

Definitely complain. It sounds like she needs retraining.

MrsDoylesTeabags · 19/02/2017 15:10

So she asked to see your ID and then when you showed her your ID she accused you of theft? I'd be asking he speak to her manager and I wouldn't be in a rush to go back there again.

gamerchick · 19/02/2017 15:10

Heh I'm really torn, I would love to be Ided again. The last time I was 26 and yes it was well annoying.

See... torn Grin

GangstaRat · 19/02/2017 15:10

Totally ridiculous - either the OP has stolen someone's purse and is committing fraud and theft, in which case the cashier has an obligation to call the police, or she is who she claims to be.

If someone has a genuine ID you can't really reject them. I'd have asked for a manager.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/02/2017 15:11

I get IDd for everything so I feel your pain.

No one has ever accused me of stealing ID before though so I have no experience of that. I haven't changed in appearance since I was about 12 (hence the constant ID checking).

Personally, I think if she had an issue, she should have called a manager over.

museumum · 19/02/2017 15:11

Ridiculous. If she thought you'd stolen a purse she needed to call the police or at least security!

WatchingFromTheWings · 19/02/2017 15:11

She's obliged to ID you if she thinks you're under 25 and she's within her rights to refuse the sale for whatever reason she chooses.

WatchingFromTheWings · 19/02/2017 15:12

Personally, I think if she had an issue, she should have called a manager over.

Manager isn't allowed to override the decision so calling him/her over would have made no difference.

Sirzy · 19/02/2017 15:13

If she had doubt it was you then she had no choice but to refuse to serve. How different do you look?

I have had to get new ID because my old one didn't look like me.

Moreisnnogedag · 19/02/2017 15:13

Oh come on that is ridiculous. I get that they have to check but either call a manager or serve the person.

I got ID'd buying cigarettes. I'm 34 and the only ID I had was my NHS badge. The cashier initially wouldn't accept it because I could have got a PhD young! I laughed but she was deadly serious but her manager (who was at the next till) let me have my cancer sticks Grin

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/02/2017 15:14

Manager isn't allowed to override the decision so calling him/her over would have made no difference.

Very true. She should have just said that unfortunately she couldn't accept the ID so you couldn't buy the alcohol.

ArcheryAnnie · 19/02/2017 15:15

If she thought you had stolen the wallet, then she should have called her manager and asked for the police to be called.

She was being ridiculous.

BeyondThePage · 19/02/2017 15:15

If your ID doesn't look like you then it is not exactly ID is it? Or am I missing something?

EllaHen · 19/02/2017 15:17

YANBU

She sounds stupid. Utterly stupid.

Calaisienne · 19/02/2017 15:17

She didn't accuse you of stealing the purse, just suggested it was not yours. My immediate assumption was that she thought you had borrowed the purse from an older friend.
I see no evidence that she has accused you of theft, merely an assumption that you made.

Hotfuzzed · 19/02/2017 15:18

of course they have the right to refuse if they are unsure but there's a way to do it politely without accusing the person f stealing someone's purse ffs.

Cyclingforcake · 19/02/2017 15:21

I had this in the USA. The waitress didn't think my passport photo looked liked me so I pointed that immigration thought that it was me. Luckily the manager laughed and served me. The waitress was all for chucking me out for being rude.

Boulshired · 19/02/2017 15:22

I do not see the accusation of stealing just that it might not be the OPs ID. If you do not look like your own ID what else is the cashier meant to do?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/02/2017 15:24

The problem is that if she serves you and you turn out to be under the age limit, she and not the store gets the fine.

I used to work for a shop that sold penknives and multi tools. I had to check that the person was buying it for themselves when they were with children. So many of them would tell me that they were buying it for their children and then I couldn't sell it to them. They would get all hacked off but it's the law.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 19/02/2017 15:25

How would you have known the PIN if it wasn't your purse??

Sirzy · 19/02/2017 15:28

wish I know my mums pin. If someone had borrowed from someone they know then knowing a pin wouldn't be unheard of

SauvignonBlanche · 19/02/2017 15:30

I know my DH's PIN but I don't look like him. Wink

EmeraldScorn · 19/02/2017 15:34

Jesus, it was two bottles of beer not weapons of mass destruction. I think people are too anal about "rules" and "the law", it's not really that big a deal, two bottles of beer.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, I'd have walked out without buying anything too.