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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you still talk to your exes?

38 replies

AteRiri · 17/02/2017 11:56

Just that really.

OP posts:
DrivingMeBonkers · 17/02/2017 11:58

Yes. But I don't go out of my way to keep in touch. If I see them, I speak.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 17/02/2017 12:00

Yes I talk to a couple regularly, even meet up with one twice a year for a catch up.

Dh is the same, one of his exes even came to our wedding

MirandaWest · 17/02/2017 12:00

Yes. But only as he's my DCs dad.

TheFullMrexit · 17/02/2017 12:01

A few yes. Some if I saw in street I would happily have a quick catch up, only one or two I would duck away from Grin.

One is a very good friend.

bowtieandheels · 17/02/2017 12:02

I'm still good friends with a couple of ex lovers but they weren't ever boyfriends...

StumblyMonkey · 17/02/2017 12:03

My long term ex (from about 7 years ago) is a friend on FB.

We used to message each other occasionally....once a year or so....just general 'catch up' stuff.

Probably haven't now for a couple of years. No real reason why, just not a part of each other's lives any more.

SnoozyCunt · 17/02/2017 12:03

My first long-term boyfriend I haven't really spoken to or seen in the 12 years since we broke up. I saw him once in the street and smiled and did the eye brow raise but walked on. I was looking totally hot. Then a few years ago he emailed me but basically wanted to boast about how amazingly well he was doing in life (he wasn't really). I didn't reply.

A bloke I had a fling with emailed me a few years ago after he claimed I'd "popped up" on his LinkedIn pages Hmm I think it was a bit of a booty call. I didn't reply.

Another bloke I had a fling with I've now found myself kind of working with. He's not a colleague but works at an agency that I have occasional contact and meetings with. It was really awkward at first but it's basically fine. He thinks I'm still as easy as I was at 20 and I get the feeling he's always angling for an affair but I'm totally not interested.

I've had many one night stands. I might well be in touch with some of them but most likely not. TBH, I can only remember about 10% of them. There were a lot.

StumblyMonkey · 17/02/2017 12:05

Others....no. We only dated for a few months and no common friends so no need to stay in contact.

I'd chat to them in the street though (other than one total arsehole who I would ignore).

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 17/02/2017 12:05

No. I have one ex. We lived together and were engaged over 10 years ago now. We are not in contact and probably best tbh. Have moved on and have families.

RockyBird · 17/02/2017 12:09

I bumped into one of my first long term boyfriends a few weeks ago. We had a chat and he asked my surname so he could stalk friend me on FB. I said no. In any case he's been blocked for years Grin

My last boyfriend before DH treated me so badly that I have no reason to even be remotely civil to him.

user1483387154 · 17/02/2017 12:10

In touch with a couple of them on FB but cant say we really talk and more of a case of liking each others photos and wishing happy birthday, merry christmas etc.

StrawberryShortcake32 · 17/02/2017 12:15

Not at all. One is a nice guy but we've nothing in common anymore. The 2nd is a Grade A toss bag.

Besides I would never want to upset my DH. I wouldnt feel comfortable if he still had regular contact with his ex so I would show him the same courtesy.

HecateAntaia · 17/02/2017 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mittensonastring · 17/02/2017 12:22

One, its painful because I still have feelings for him, it's foolish really.

Mittensonastring · 17/02/2017 12:23

Feel the need to add that DS knows.

Mittensonastring · 17/02/2017 12:24

DH not DS, good grief, wish we could edit our posts.

Mia1415 · 17/02/2017 12:26

Yes I do. My ex DH lives down the same road and we get on fine. With the others we text a few times a year.

ImTakingTheEssence · 17/02/2017 12:27

Yes but just because we have a child together. I didn't talk to him for a long time but I think where both past that stage now. We both have partners and have let go of the past. It's nice to get on for a change Tbh.

Jenwen22 · 17/02/2017 12:29

Two. One because of the kids involved, and the other because hes become more of a brother to me in the last ten years since we split up. The rest no I don't and have no interest in speaking too.

carteblah · 17/02/2017 12:29

Nope, I don't talk to any of them. Just how things turned out. I was never really all that interested in being friends in the aftermath of breaking up, and I didn't want to get back in contact after the months/years had gone by to catch up or anything like that.

Aoibhe · 17/02/2017 12:34

I stayed in contact with my ex who I was with just before dh. We had been great friends, same sense of humour, same interests, no bad feelings, worked in the same industry, so I thought it was great that we could be friends and keep in touch, only by text or email, we never met up as I had moved away. I told dh about it and he was fine about it.

He got married, had 2 DC and started moaning to me about his wife Shock Angry that she had put on too much weight, was a nag, was worried about her newborn and refused to leave it with his mum. I was speechless. This went on for a few months. I genuinely don't know what he wanted me to say Hmm I basically just stopped replying to his messages until they fizzled out, bar odd one at Christmas or a birthday.

I have another ex who I stayed in touch with until he began a LTR and she wasn't happy about it. That was fine, I respected that.

PageStillNotFound404 · 17/02/2017 12:37

I'm friends with one on FB. We comment occasionally on some of each other's posts but don't privately message or anything. It wasn't the love affair of the century or an acrimonious split; we were friends before we went out and after a while we realised we were better as friends. We're both happily married to other people now and I certainly don't have any pangs about him, and I assume he feels the same.

Purplebluebird · 17/02/2017 12:41

I don't speak to my first ex - spoke to him 3 years ago when my mum died, he sent me a message, which was nice of him. Don't speak other than that.
My other ex, I speak to for hours on Skype every day (chat, not voice) O.o actually talk to him as much as my other half, as they both work and use skype. I know it's probably not good but hey ho.

Spikeyball · 17/02/2017 12:42

No. I know where one of them is but have no desire to be in contact. I've not seen the other since we left university.

KurriKurri · 17/02/2017 12:44

I have very little contact with my XH - he treated me very badly. But we are civil if we do speak and he is the DC's father so I try to keep it all civil for them. If he absolutely needed me I would help him out (I have taken him to a and e when he was unwell and visited him in hospital, taken him in clean clothes toiletries etc.) we were together 32 years so it is hard to break the habits of a life time !

But we don't meet up socially. I did go for a coffee with him a few months ago when we met by chance, but he sat for an hour and talked about himself the entire time, never once asked how I was or what I was doing. And I just thought 'I'm not doing this again, what's the point ?'

I don't actually like him, although I do have feelings if that makes sense - it;s hard to cut off all feelings for someone when you were together so long, even if they were a complete shit Grin

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