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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you still talk to your exes?

38 replies

AteRiri · 17/02/2017 11:56

Just that really.

OP posts:
Mari50 · 17/02/2017 12:55

i'm not 'in contact' with any ex's other than the one I have a child with through necessity. If I met any of them on the street etc I'd say hi and have a chat (and often have done) but I don't seek them out, what's the point? I did have one ex who would email or text regularly but I ended up blocking him because his motivation was really questionable. I couldn't be arsed with his shit, then or now.

LiefieLiefie · 17/02/2017 14:01

I have one main ex who I was friendly with until he got his first serious girlfriend since me and suddenly started blanking me.

AVY1 · 17/02/2017 14:06

I'm fine with one, it's always nice to bump in to him for a quick catch up but no regular contact.

The other, who I was with for much longer, no contact at all now. We were in regular contact for a year or two and my DH got on with him but once he started a new relationship she wasn't comfortable with him still talking to me so I just stopped. Didn't want the drama!

showmeislands · 17/02/2017 14:15

Three of my exes came to my wedding. I've been to two of my exes weddings as well. My husband is totally unfazed and has always got on with anyone I'm friends with, regardless if we used to date or not. I'm still good friends with one ex and keep in touch with the other couple now and again.

There are some exes I definitely don't have a friendship with though! Ones where either it ended badly, or where it didn't necessarily but we really loved each other (before it went wrong) and establishing a friendship wasn't possible. Much easier to be friends if it wasn't a very serious relationship!

amusedbush · 17/02/2017 14:22

I'm almost 27 and have been with my DH for five years so I don't have many significant exes though I did put it about a bit in my yoof ...just one, to be exact. We were together three years and he broke up with me very suddenly, and unceremoniously, over the phone. Strangely, even when we lived in the same tiny village I never once bumped into him. I haven't seen him face to face since we broke up in 2010 and I wouldn't want to. Too weird.

GeorgiePeachie · 17/02/2017 14:26

yes. bad idea all round.

Chasingsquirrels · 17/02/2017 14:40

Yes because he his our minor dc's dad. I don't have any contact with earlier ex's.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 17/02/2017 14:50

My long term partner, now ex, is one of my best friends and I see him about once a week. I'm still friends with several exes from before him, so ones from 20 years ago. We meet every so often for dinner or drinks. Any partners I have now have to accept that I have several exes as good friends. I don't have DC though which probably makes it easier to stay friends when we split up.

hungryhippo90 · 17/02/2017 15:01

I haven't been in contact with any of my exes for a long time.
I was too involved with my ex for over six years after we split up. It's still fairly new that we aren't in contact but it's healthier for both of us.

SteppingOnToes · 17/02/2017 15:08

Nope, same as I don't have contact with ex friends.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 17/02/2017 15:11

No. I only really have two significant exes and a few ONS/people I was seeing and I don't speak to any of them.
Ex 1 - Together when I was 15-18. He lives around 3 hours away and we haven't spoken to each other since the day I broke up with him. Nothing untoward, we just weren't right and I was bored. I broke his heart though and I do feel bad for how I handled it sometimes.
Ex 2 - Together when I was 19-21. He lives about 15 minutes from where I do. We lived together and it was a horrible relationship .He was physically and mentally abusive and probably cheated. I broke up with him and he used to send messages on and off for at least 6 months saying how much he missed me, I didn't really engage. He stopped when I met my now DP.

EmeraldScorn · 17/02/2017 15:15

My last ex no I definitely wouldn't speak to him and in actual fact I go out of my way to avoid him (we have mutual friends) but I'm on friendly enough terms with another ex, we exchange messages on birthdays/Christmas that sort of thing and then the one and only other ex I have I don't know where he is or what he's up to but I'd say hello if I ran into him.

Bahh · 17/02/2017 15:19

Nope. I have one ex, we don't have any children and didn't share anything like a house or other commitments. We attempted to keep in contact for a few weeks after I left, until I realised he was an emotionally abusive turd who was saying disgusting things about me to anyone who'd listen whilst simultaneously begging me to try again. I hope he falls off the face of the earth and if I saw him on the street it'd take strength not to attack him.

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