Teacher called dd thick and stupid

[stopdrawingonyourhands]

Long story

DD has sen but is well behaved and really tries.

At her old school her learning difficulties were appallingly supported and she was badly bullied including being called thick and stupid to a point she started saying it about herself. She was really suffering from low self esteem and school refusal and we saw the GP.

Fast forward to new school, she is much happier and finally had friends and the senco is fab.

Anyway she has come home today upset because the teacher has allegedly shouted at her that she is thick and stupid. I will of course clarify what was said but dd is usually pretty accurate.

From what dd has said the teacher thought wrongly dd had written her name on a work sheet she had been told not to and the teacher allegedly shouted that if dd thought she (the teacher) was going to let her mess it up then she was thick and stupid.

Obviously she wasn't to know of the previous issues but is it ok regardless of that to say to an sen student.

Do I leave it or say something?

I am a teacher. I think you should speak to the teacher first and then involve the senior leadership team if you are unhappy with the teacher's response .

P.s they are secondary age if relevant.

Is she at a mainstream school or specialist setting OP? Just out of interest... it makes no difference to the unacceptable treatment if your DD.

Is there a chance that because the words "thick and stupid" were frequently used in her previous school she associates them with being reprimanded or challenged and "hears" them in these circumstances?

It's an incredibly harsh, unpleasant thing to say and I'd make sure there was no doubt what was specifically said before you take any action.

Thanks rockandroll. I'm trying not to let my previous experience prejudice or cause over reaction to this situation so it is very valuable to hear from a teacher.

Bottle she is in a state secondary normal school but a very small setting.

There seems to be a theme here? So she told you she was called thick and stupid in a previous school, and has now been called exactly the same thing in this school? Are you 100% sure what she is telling you is correct? Children aren't always accurate and things get lost in translation.

Please, please speak to the teacher. Very few teachers in mainstream, UK education would call a child 'thick'. Combined with the fact that this is exactly what her previous teacher is reported to have said to her, I think this may be more about how she perceives herself and her interpretation of what someone is saying to her

"Thick" & "stupid" are not words that should be said to any child from a teacher. Whether you're 3 or 16, SEN or not. I'd be up the school in the morning to find out what happened.

I would check with the school as to what was actually said first tbh.

It seems a bit of a coincidence that the teacher used the exact same phrase that the child was previously bullied with. I think you need to clarify exactly what the teacher said, although it is unlikely that if they really did say that they will have the guts to admit it - unless there was another adult witness?

But obviously if the teacher called your child that, it is extremely unprofessional at best, bullying or discrimination at worst, certainly deserves a written warning and quite possibly dismissal.

Yes I'm definitely going to check what was said. DD has always been pretty accurate though to be fair.

I'm aware secondary age are a nightmare at times but we haven't had any behavioural problems.

The teacher may have said something like that was a stupid thing to do but your daughter may have misinterpreted that as you are stupid.

As someone said it may be that is what she now hears when reprimanded in some way.

Listen first, digest and then react.

Just to clarify in her previous school it was comments mostly from the kids of things like

'look at the state of that you can't do x are you thick or something' 'god you cannot even do y are you stupid or what'
'dd is a stupid cow she did blah'

Rather than this actual phrase if that makes sense.

In 25 years of teaching I've never called a child stupid or thick. I'd be appalled if this has happened and I'd be talking to the teacher and the SMT too.

Her previous issue was following the bullying which was very bad and included threats with a weapon which I posted about at the time that she fell apart immediately anytime anything was a challenge or hard crying she couldn't do it or learn because she was stupid.

It may be she is misinterpreting what was said. I just need to know how to approach it really without making things more difficult for dd if the teacher is unkind and has said it.

I am a teacher and honestly, genuinely can't imagine ever saying a student was thick or stupid, let alone shouting it at someone. Saying something like, "oops, that was a silly thing to do", yes. I assumed it was other students who had used those words at her previous school from the OP, not staff?

Yes Judy it was students.

Yes you do need to get to the bottom of it. For my DS the word stupid is a real trigger word. It can cause a complete meltdown ...I am unsucessfully trying to teach him the difference between things can be stupid , stupid thing to do and you are stupid.. So reading your post I wonder if she has heard the word stupid and heard the stupid from the past.

Since the teacher wrongly thought your DD had written on the sheet they immediately apologised when they found that they were wrong I hope!
DD must be upset and unhappy - I hope you can sort it for her.

It's not two words I'd normally put together. You might call someone thick, or stupid, but both in the same sentence is odd.

Having said that your daughter is clearly upset so whatever has gone on should be addressed.

Yes very very similar starlight.

Beezie dd said she hadn't and the teacher sort of 'humph' apparently. I'm wondering if she actually did write her name on it although she doesn't usually lie.

She has also come home upset because another child was refused the toilet and ended up soaked in period blood which has also annoyed me.

Teacher sounds like they're having some kind of breakdown!

Do you know if it was the usual subject teacher, and was the toilet refusal the same teacher?

I doubt very much that a teacher would call a child of any age stupid and thick. I think that your dd might have misunderstood.
BTW, most lessons are only 1 or 2 hours max, so I expect the other child could have gone to the loo in between lessons to prevent something like this happening.

Thanks all.

I'm going to have a word with the teacher, do it from a dd came home really upset and did anything happen in lesson stand point.

I'm very aware because of her past experience that she reacts emotionally a lot quicker for her age and often gets upset about things others shrug off.

User1475 I get that, I think the child was caught unaware in fairness. At this age periods are just starting and irregular for many. Anyway that's a battle for her own parents.

Thanks all.