Don't do gymnastics in your bedroom DD...

[EssieTregowan]

I must say this eleventy billion times a day.

Today she landed on the radiator. Two lacerations, a suspected broken toe (it wasn't, thank god) and a damaged tendon. Blood EVERYWHERE. Fortunately only a couple of hours at A&E (god bless the NHS).

She's thrilled to have crutches and a huge bandage. I am frazzled.

Anyone else want to share their 'I told you not to' moments to cheer me up?

I outdid myself by not actually saying 'I told you so' until after she'd been patched up, so gold star for me I reckon.

I handed dd2 over at a&e once saying "don't give her sympathy, it was her own fault". They grinned at me. I don't think I was the first to say it.

Haha yes that was pretty much what I said when we booked her in.

Yanbu. I once did a forward roll near a bookcase once... banged my hip on it. Your DD's incident is worse though! Hope she gets better soon!

My dd ate a nail at 5yo. Daily visits to have her scanned with a metal detector to see if it had passed through!!

My DD somersault ed on a divan bed, missed the bed completely, landed on her neck on the floor. That was a long scary night at A&E.
No lasting harm thankfully.

Totally - 'ds, don't keep flinging yourself onto that armchair', which he did Kew doing, eventually landing on his hand and almost broke his thumb. Not broken, but painful enough that he stopped after that.

I have a four year old like this. She jumps from the back of our sofa across the cushions onto the floor, off her window sill, off the dining room table, off the sideboard. We've not yet visited a&e but I suspect we soon might.

Ouch! Gymnastic dd here. We told her, make sure you have plenty of room to do cartwheels. Mind that table. Nope. She bashed her foot on the table, broke her toe, blood everywhere, bruises, trip to A&E. Gah.

Here too. "Ds, the furniture is not a set of rings, please don't swing from it". Repeat x 100000.
Ds used the toilet and a chair that was in the bathroom to swing from, chair tipped, ds went face first into the wall, which knocked the mirror down, which landed on his head and shattered.
Heard a thud, smash, and then silence. Rushed through to find ds on the floor, out cold, in a puddle of blood, surrounded by broken glass.
Result was lacerations to his head, teeth through lip, burst nose, 2 black eyes, and concussion.
And, you'll never guess what I still shout at him at least 10 times a day!

Yes. My son had multiple head injuries as a child, always as a result if arsing about, usually doing exactly what I told him not to do.
One of the many was him "stage diving" from the arm of the sofa onto the seated part. He misjudged, missed the sofa and hit head on the coffee table, which actually cut through the top of his ear (still has a gap today).
Jumped into a paddling pool of balls at a bbq forgetting he was still holding a skewer which he rammed straight into his face, narrowly missing one eye.
Tried to do a wheelie in a tricycle over a low wall - cut right through lip when he went over handlebars (plastic surgery for that one). Twice had to have his head glued after running maniacally (into furniture) after spinning in circles.
Even in his first passport photo he had two black eyes!
He's now nearly 12 and a lot calmer thank God. I'm amazed he's still alive sometimes.

Don't play on the exercise equipment in the park - it's made for adults. BOTH WRISTS BROKEN!

DD ended up in A&E with what appeared to be a dislocated knee joint. I'm downstairs, she's upstairs and I bear what sounded like an elephant slamming to the floor followed by a bellow a minotaur would be proud of. Go upstairs, she claims she's fallen over so I tell her to lie on the bed and ill get the calpol. Get calpol and dose her up, check on her half hour later and her knee is turning black,can't straighten it and its visibly swelling. DH turns up, I leave him with two unfed children and trundle off to A&E. Child is crying (usually has the pain threshold of a rock), paediatric man calls bone man. They xray, poke, raff about and declare it bruised and strained. When they ask her how she did it, was it from jumping on the bed? Nope apparently it was from trying to see what a bat feels like when its trying to sleep. So hanging off the bunk bed upside down.

honeylulu
avonmice that made me snigger

avonondice even (soz)

And the rest of your DCs. Madsers the lot of them.

Not an injury thank goodness but remember trying to clamber over the toilet door to get ton DD who had locked herself in... I was 8 months pregnant and gigantic. My last words to her were "Don't lock it, I'll pop my foot under the door".

Now we have a (very middle class ) phrase when DC aren't listening "remember Calke Abbey!"

Oh god I am wincing at all these.

Bloody kids.

Dd is nearly 13 so I had hoped she'd grown out of trying to maim herself/give me a heart attack by now..

I once did a forward roll down the stairs at the instruction of my older 8YO sister, she convinced me what a brilliant idea it was. I was 4! Not my best decision...

My younger sister thought it was a marvellous idea to do handstands against her wall whilst on her mid height cabin bed. That didn't end well either.

Every week, probably since dd2 could walk so for a good 3 years, at the church hall where they do ballet I have been saying 'don't run down that corridor, the floor is sloped and slippery'. Every week she does it anyway. Until last month when she slipped and fell head first into the wall at the end and we ended up in A&E until 11pm with concussion.

For the next 2 weeks I had weekly head injury phone calls from school after she had banged heads with another child and run into another wall! I'm thinking of investing in a crash helmet

My then 5 yr old DD told me to stop being silly on the skateboard. 'You'll hurt yourself mum!' I was 34 years old and weighed 18 stone. Nah, I'll be alright, I said. Fell off it and landed awkwardly. A & E doc laughed himself silly when I told him how I'd done it. IS that your usual mode of transport? he asked. Not any more, I said, as he showed me on the x-ray where I'd broken it!!

Ds4 is told all day every day to stop jumping on the couch/off the couch/from chair to couch etc etc. This week got carpet burn and then banged his head. Still doing it today though!

I have two DC who are accident prone crazy risk takers. One has made it to adulthood so far (and drives like a loon), the other I'm thinking of putting in a padded cell with a bubble wrap costume on, as my only guarantee they will also make it . Even then I suspect this child will still manage to hurt themselves somehow.

When my older one was smaller, the local hospital A and E staff used to greet us like regulars, with a "what have they done now?" eye roll approach. It's a wonder they never involved social services!

Bloody adventurous spirit is a constant worry for parents!

My other DC are normal however . No serious injuries or broken bones, sensible approach to risk management, total lack of reckless deathwish. Thank God.

Trying to see what a bat feels like has me in stitches right now. As I sit in with one in fracture clinic...

Witchend you just made me spit my drink out with laughing, for the first time on MN I think it's partly because I could see my mum saying it when my sisters and I were younger