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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu hubby children free weekend

32 replies

Golightly133 · 06/02/2017 00:06

We had a child free weekend, in my head I thought takeaway Friday, lazy Saturday tea time drink in the new gin bar then tea in a local pub, my hubby didn't fancy doin anything on Saturday so we just stayed in like we do when the kids are here - he said beans on toast would be fine this is his answer to every tea time dilemma (drives me mad it's a cop out). I am 40 and don't wanna sit eating beans on toast I want adventure and fun aibu

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 06/02/2017 00:13

I would have called up a friend and gone out without him. He sounds very set in his ways.

SmallBee · 06/02/2017 00:14

Why didn't you just go out without him?

Rioja123 · 06/02/2017 00:17

Next time put your foot down and book a table somewhere to get out the house

unfortunateevents · 06/02/2017 00:34

So why did his desire not to do anything overrule your desire to do something? I would have booked a table for dinner and just told him we were going.

araiwa · 06/02/2017 06:45

"So why did his desire not to do anything overrule your desire to do something? I would have booked a table for dinner and just told him we were going."

why does her desire to do something overrule his desire not to do anything?

Lilaclily · 06/02/2017 06:46

Was he tired from work?

Sixisthemagicnumber · 06/02/2017 06:50

Sometimes when you have no kids for a day or two the best thing is doing nothing as you don't normally get chance to do nothing

LauraLovesDaisy · 06/02/2017 06:59

He sounds a bit like me Confused lol maybe he's just tired. Go out by yourself so you don't miss out. Perhaps he can come along next time? How old are your children? X

LindyHemming · 06/02/2017 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worrierandwine · 06/02/2017 07:00

If I had a child free weekend I would have everything arranged to ensure I maximised my child free time as this has never happened to me before, this is as much my fault as anyone else's! If you didn't have notice however and no time to arrange things then I would agree with PP's - just go do your own thing. Shopping, eating, swimming, walking, drinking...even if you're doing it alone it beats sitting in the house like you normally would and being resentful of DH for not wanting to go out. I just say I'm going out to do X,Y,Z and you can come if you want or not, usually he decides he wants to come then as doesn't like the idea of missing out but I haven't actually told him he has to come Wink

Guitargirl · 06/02/2017 07:21

I think the problem was where you said 'in my head' Grin

I am guilty of doing this (as is DP) where I think we have something planned but I haven't actually said it out loud and DP has different plans (also in his head). Am learning to articulate plans aloud now instead of making assumptions.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/02/2017 07:23

Blimey. He sounds like a barrel of laughs.
I think I'd have arranged to go out with friends too under those circs!

Writerwannabe83 · 06/02/2017 07:24

When me and DH have child free nights or weekends we always plan to make the most out of it with plans to go places and eat out etc but it never materialises as when the time comes we don't want to do anything but slob on the sofa and enjoy relaxing in a quiet house.

YANBU to feel let down but I'm on your DH's side because I would be exactly the same Grin

Megatherium · 06/02/2017 07:24

YABU calling him hubby.

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2017 07:27

OP did say 'lazy Saturday' in her plan so I don't think it was going to be an oppressive rushing round affair, more some chilling then pub time.

Did you say that you really fancied going out for a change, OP? Or do you just tend to go along with what he says?

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2017 07:28

Hmm at the hubby response. Let people say what they want, why does it matter?

bloodymaria · 06/02/2017 07:29

YABU calling him hubby.

Yaaaawn

PatriciaHolm · 06/02/2017 07:29

" in my head" - and therein may lie your problem.

Did you actually have a conversation about what you fancied doing or did you just drift along doing nothing whilst inwardly seething about not doing what you wanted?

GreenRut · 06/02/2017 07:34

I'm the dh in this scenario. One of things I really miss about pre children years is the ability to just do nothing. To lounge on the sofa with a cup of tea, maybe fall asleep if I feel like it, casually pop to the shop for a loaf of bread without having to plan a military operation. Just lazing is my dream! On saying all of that my dh is like op and makes sure that we do nice things, meals etc and I'm always glad afterwards

gamerwidow · 06/02/2017 07:34

Tbf me and DH quite frequently have a child free weekend because DD likes sleepovers at my mums. We pretty much always use this time to relax and do nothing so I can understand why your DH wanted to stay in. You should have gone out though no reason why you had to do the same as him if you didn't want to.

Patchouli666 · 06/02/2017 07:41

I prefer hubby over dh. Dear husband! Fuck no! Very American.

liz70 · 06/02/2017 07:42

"YABU calling him hubby."
Oh, give over. What's the betting that you yourself use some words and phrases that make other people cringe.

Original poster
Golightly133 · 06/02/2017 07:42

We had said we were going to try a couple
If new places and make the most of it, I think that's why I felt a bit let down because he was so disinterested, he's very good at saying kids are away don't make any plans - the u realise he wants to sit in, I am finding this side of him really hard to cope with.from now on I am going to make my
Own plans and leave him sat eating his beans on toast.

OP posts:
letthirstydogslie · 06/02/2017 07:45

They key to this post is the in your head bit!

Next time

'We have a child free weekend what do you fancy doing?
Do you fancy trying that new gin bar?

Oh you don't feel like going out? I might ring Jane and see if she fancies it, shall we rent a movie in the day though

KateDaniels2 · 06/02/2017 07:46

Tbh if i had an odd childfree weekend i would spend it doing fuck all. I wouldnt be wanting to do loads of stuff.