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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To try this with toddler?

54 replies

littlem133 · 05/02/2017 06:23

DS3 is 2 this month. He always used to be a good sleeper but since Christmas he's refused to go to sleep in the day, is problematic to get down in the evening and wakes throughout the night. DH and I work full time shifts and have two older children. We've tried cutting his day nap, leaving him to cry, and now generally sleep on his floor throughout the night hoping it's just a phase. It's a long phase now. I've got him to sleep yesterday afternoon by sitting on his floor by the door with my back to him and crept out after a bit. What do I do at night though-sit on the floor again each time he wakes?! He woke at 5.20 this morning (which is a good long chunk of sleep for him) and I'm still sat by his door with my back to him whilst he's stood in his cot! I'm full of cold and exhausted!

OP posts:

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/02/2017 06:46

What's he doing in a cot at 2 years old? Get him a proper single mattress on a trundle bed and lie down to cuddle him to sleep. At least in the evening. I just say goodnight to DS and take a (much needed) little nap next to him. He's sound asleep by the time I wake up.

You can do it in the day too but it's possible he's dropping his naps? Some kids do that pretty early.

Baffledonthisone · 05/02/2017 06:46

I assume from the approach you are taking cosleeping isn't something you would try. But I would recommend it if you could. Step away from the baby books and follow what feels natural.

Oogle · 05/02/2017 06:51

What does it matter if he's still in a cot?! My 2yr old is still in a cot. He's happy, sleep is good and I know that if he was in a proper bed he'd be up and down like a yo-yo.

There is a sleep regression at 2. We went through it and it was hell but we're out the other side. For now, you do whatever gets you through the night. Whether that's co-sleep, sleep on his floor or whatever works. Not helpful I know! For daytime nap, would he sleep in car? Not ideal but sometimes needs must!

EyeStye · 05/02/2017 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eminybob · 05/02/2017 07:17

DS went through this just as he turned 2 too.
He was still in a cot (still is at 2.5) so I would lie next to him with my hand through the bars until he fell asleep. It lasted for about a month and then he went back to settling himself.
I originally put it down to the fact that we got rid of his bedtime bottle at the same time, but actually it sounds like it is pretty common to have a sleep regression at that age.
Just ride it out, do what you need to do.
Fwiw DS has never self settled for daytime naps, I have always had to cuddle him to sleep for that and still quite happily do now!
I say do whatever makes your life easist.

Baffledonthisone · 05/02/2017 07:18

She said she has tried that and it hasn't worked. I think it only works if you are personally invested in the approach. The same with cosleeping. It's not that one works better that the other, but different approaches 'fit' different families.

(But that doesn't sell baby books!)

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 05/02/2017 07:22

Who has him while you're working and what happens there about his nap? If you work FT, does that mean you only deal with naps at weekends? I don't know how to fix it as I've never managed it, but with DD I stick her in the car and drive about until she's had an hour's sleep. Ideally we arrange that around ending up at somewhere we wanted to go anyway, but sometimes I just drive. I like an hour's break to listen to the radio. I probably wouldn't do it if she was with me every day as the petrol would cost a fortune, but for the weekends it's manageable.

MakeItRain · 05/02/2017 07:22

One thing I would definitely do is get up with him at 5.20. That's quite a normal time to begin the day for some children. My son woke at that time for years! He was ready to get up and would never have gone back to sleep.
Otherwise, well dropping the nap isn't that unusual at 2 either. I also cuddled mine to sleep at night, but that's not for everyone.

liquidrevolution · 05/02/2017 07:30

Drop the nap or reduce it to max 30 mins?

You sound exhausted!

user1484226561 · 05/02/2017 07:34

It sounds to me that you want him to sleep more than he needs to. Mine had dropped their day time naps way before this, and slept much less at night,- until they were teenagers!

Somehowsomewhere · 05/02/2017 07:38

Mine dropped her nap completely at 20 months so it might be that he just doesn't need to nap any more?

Ponderingprivately · 05/02/2017 07:41

What's he doing in a cot at 2 years old? Huh?! Loads (I would guess majority) of two year olds are still in a cot.

Op, have you looked at gradual retreat method? Also agree nap dropping consistently might work.

insancerre · 05/02/2017 07:44

If he is awake at 5.20 then you need to get up with him
He sounds like you are trying to control his sleep when you should be supporting him to regulate his own sleep
A lot of children don't need a day time nap and sleep better when they drop it
If you are fighting with him to get him to sleep during the day then I would say he doesn't need that sleep
You should be aiming for your 2 year old to be getting about 12 hours sleep a night

Mindtrope · 05/02/2017 07:46

He may sleep better in bed with you.

AliceInUnderpants · 05/02/2017 07:49

Are you in the UK? So posted this at 6.30?

He may be ready to give up nap. My youngest didn't nap regularly after 15 months. He won't nap during the day forever, surely you know that?
Why didn't you get up with him at 5.30? Instead you left him in his cot for another hour trying to force him to sleep?

Somehowsomewhere · 05/02/2017 07:50

We moved DD1 into a bed at 22 months. Wish we hadn't. It made her sleep much worse.
DD2 is 19 months and in a cot. She sleeps 7-7 (which DD1 has never done!) so will be in a cot until she's 18.

(Joking, obvs)

NapQueen · 05/02/2017 07:54

I'm another one with a 2 (2y3m to be specific) in a cot. Why take them out if they aren't yet trying to climb out of it??

Can you start an earlier bedtime whilst he gets used to no nap?

empirerecordsrocked · 05/02/2017 07:56

I had to resort to driving dts around for an hour or so at that age. They needed the sleep but fought it all the way.

nutbrownhare15 · 05/02/2017 08:05

It does sound like a phase. I don't understand why you would have your back to him? No doubt it's some sort of sleep training technique but he is clearly finding it hard to.sleep and just wants some human comfort, especially as he has been.subject to being left to cry. I would go for the floor bed rather than cot and cuddle to.sleep approach too, go to bed early and share lie ins with partner on the weekend.

mygorgeousmilo · 05/02/2017 08:17

None if mine napped at 2, as they then didn't sleep at night. Drop the nap

GloGirl · 05/02/2017 08:19

There is no way I'd treat 5.30 as a reasonable morning wake up time. Anything before 6.30 I classed as the middle of the night and treated it the same as 2.30 am.

Somehowsomewhere · 05/02/2017 08:23

Similar to GloGirl, anything before 6am has always been considered a night waking here.

user1484226561 · 05/02/2017 08:23

There is no way I'd treat 5.30 as a reasonable morning wake up time.

depends on your child, when mine were little, this would have been a lie in!

Flisstizzy · 05/02/2017 08:29

I'm with the PP's in saying 5.30 is not a reasonable getting up time. The DS needs to get back to sleep, the OP sounds exhausted.
What time does he go to bed OP? If it's too early can this be pushed back along with dropping day time nap?

Casschops · 05/02/2017 08:33

Mine is 6 months and wakes at 5 am regular as clockwork. No amount of patting shushing and leaving to cry works. He works himself into a screaming fit then I get neighbour complaints. He goes of DDB to sleep beautifully at 7pm and sleeps till 10 pm has a bottle then back doe. My little fella has a dummy, at first it was a nightmare but now he can put it back himself it's better. There is no right or wrong way you need to keep changing tactics. It it has to worked after a week it's not going to and to are tired and cold. Do what is easiest, I held my little boys hand to and that reassured him enough. Sleep begets sleep, if they nap and are well rested in the day they settle and sleep better at night. Good luck OP we are all there with you xx

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